Wow, where is this coming from?

This feeling that I want to just curl up and die. I feel so fucking sad today it hurts. I just want to bawl my eyes out. I know that I have tons of emotions that I have to work through but shit, I hate it when they sneak up on me. Why can't I react to a situation when it happens? No, instead I react after the fact. I'm struggling with the desire to cancel on my friend tonight. We are going to a yoga class and then to dinner and I really just want to go home. I wasn't feeling well earlier and I still just feel run down. I know I should go because yoga will be good for stress relief yadda yadda yadda. I'm just not feeling it and what kills me is that if I cancel, my friend would totally understand which makes me feel as guilty as hell. I'll decide later.