I don't wanna go!!

I feel like a 2 year old, wanting to fling myself on the floor, kicking my feel, pounded the ground screaming "no, I don't wanna go!". Today is our consult with the RE about my super high FsH levels. I know she's going to tell me that she won't impregnate me with that kind of an FsH level. I know she will tell me I only have 2 options (adoption or donor egg), I know that she won't tell me what I want to hear (there has been a huge breakthrough in the past week - we have a cure for high FsH). I don't wanna go! If I don't hear her say it than it won't be true. I didn't sleep last night. I kept waking up with this horrible feeling in my stomach. I finally dragged myself out of bed, went to the gym, forced myself to read some more of "Adopting after Infertility", showered and then came into the office. I need to focus, I need to work.