Monday, January 17, 2005

What The Hell Is Wrong With Me??

Ok, I'm Julie. Julie who hates cleaning. I went on, what I can only describe as, a major cleaning binge yesterday. Marc and I are pilers. You know the type, they just make piles of shit everywhere. You throw something on the sofa and there it sits for months at a time. That's just the way we are. Well, it finally got to me. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. (ok, I had been up for hours but decided to get up at 6:30) and proceeded to destroy each and every pile in the house. By the time Marc woke up, I was well into my insanity (much to his delight). Even with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law over, I was cleaning. If I was pregnant, I'd swear this was nesting. I need to vent about these progesterone thingies. I know that they are adding progesterone into my body but it is absolutely necessary for them to cause my tits to hurt like this?? WTF! I woke up at 2:30 this morning with shooting pains in my nipples. I could barely stand up this a.m. because they hurt so bad. I'm seriously going to be wearing a bra to bed tonight. The girls need their support! I saw my grandmother yesterday. She's in her 90's and not very with it anymore. It's very sad because when she was younger, she was an amazing lady. In her youth, she was a model for Littman's. She was beautiful, warm and loving. She's still all of those things - but she doesn't really know who I am which makes me sad. Yesterday, she was having a good day (I live for those visits). She was bright, energetic and didn't fall asleep every two minutes when I was speaking with her. She remembered that my sister, the Princess, was in Israel. She remembered my brother had 2 little ones. It was going great. Then she announced that she is going to wait till she's 30 to get married. That her mom was giving her a hard time about it but she was having so much fun going out with her girlfriends on the weekends and she was just too young. I put lotion on her hands and she enjoyed it. Said she would ask her mom to buy her some lotion. While it's disturbing that she isn't "with it". We had fun talking and I hung out with her for at least a half an hour (usually I'm there for no more than 10 minutes because she keeps falling asleep). Can I just mention that I'm 12 days past ovulation (12dpo). I'm trying so hard not to test because I know that it probably will be a BFN (big fat negative) regardless of whether or not I'm pregnant. My boobs hurt like hell too but that's probably just the progesterone. It's really hard to draw that line as to what is the drugs and what is really your body doing something natural. Only time will tell.

1 comment:

  1. Julie--I came to your blog from a FF circle and wanted to say your chart sure does look promising right now!! I looked at some of the comments the other day and wanted to watch the comment to see if you are going to have a BFP.

    My husband also has a low sperm count, our first and only IUI so far, we had all of 900,000. Sad! His first s/a said 21 mil total, 2nd said 19 mil and he took Clomid and vitamins for a few months. Then, 900,000, it's pathetic! How bad is Marc's?

    Congrats on the cleaning, by the way, I'm just ambivalent about cleaning and have too many pets not to vacuum every few days. :o)