Sunday, January 09, 2005

Beginnings...

Allow me to introduce myself... My name is Julie Foxx and my husband and I are dealing with infertility. Ok, I'm not really dealing but I'm trying to deal with it. It all started last March when my wonderful husband, Marc, and I decided it was time to start a family. I had heard about natural family planning and had read up on it (temping, cervical fluid, etc) and decided that this was our ticket to producing our children. After 4-5 months of trying, my Mom began to start nudging us to see a specialist (Thanks Mom!). Turns out that Marc had very low sperm count. We were now under the care of an RE (reproductive endocrincologist). It's interesting.... Even though the reason we weren't getting pregnant at that time was due to Marc's low sperm count, I was the one subjected to all of the hideous tests. The HSG (my least favorite), the biopsy, the weekly internal utrasounds, bloodwork, etc. We started with IUI (artificial insemination) with clomid (the drug from hell!). We went through three cycles of IUI before they dropped the bomb on us... Waiting to have our third IUI performed the nurse said "the doctor wants to see you before the procedure". I knew this wasn't going to be good. "Your FsH levels have gone up Julie". Huh?? That's right boy's and girl's - Julie's biological alarm clock has gone off. FsH is the gauge doctor's use to determine the quality and quantity of eggs. In my clinic (every clinic is different), the high end of normal is 10. I was at 16 (the higher the number the worse it is). I am very fortunate that my doctor didn't turn me away. Many infertility specialits will because it messes up their success rates. I am very proud of myself that I waited till I was in the car to lose my mind. Then I mourned my body's betrayal. I know I'm 37 but look at me - I don't look older than, say 32! How could this be??? I waited my whole life for Mr. Right. I didn't settle! I found him, got married at 34 - we waited 3 years to start a family UUUGGGHHHH!!!! Pity party over. There are so many courageous women I have met in this process. Women who have gone through IVF after IVF without success. Women who have had not one but multiple miscarriages. Who the fuck am I to whine?? Through this process we have managed to still laugh (Thank G-d for my husband, he can make me laugh on command). I hope to make this blog a place for me to vent and, at the same time, laugh and what should be an unlaughable process.

1 comment:

  1. Julie,
    Since we just "met" I'm catching up on your life by reading old posts.

    I can so relate re: even when the diagnosis is MFI, the woman is the one doing all the nasty things- HSG, etc.

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