Monday, June 20, 2005

Move Along, Nothing To See Here, Just Another Crazy Infertile

Whew. That was a hell of a meltdown. I'm ok though. I think I just had that little bit more to throw out there. I slept a little better last night (still had crazy dreams - just not as horrible) and will hopefully get a good nights sleep tonight. I took a spin class this morning and I use that time to do visualization. I'll see myself riding this bike by a mountain stream or by the ocean or somewhere else. Sometimes I will picture myself riding over the person causing me problems. Today I just saw myself letting this go. I cried (crying while spinning isn't a good idea but hey - what the hell) and peddled like a maniac. Time to refocus on happy things. I need to find my positive energy again. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words.

9 comments:

  1. Oh Juls - I'm sorry about your difficult weekend and the meltdown. It's good to hear you sounding a little better today!

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  2. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time of it and have so much to work through. If it matters any, I've cried in spin class SEVERAL times. Something about the spinning and the darkness and the music makes it cathartic.

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  3. Wow Julie, you have a lot of awful stuff in your closet. I never would've guessed there was so much pain behind that wonderful, happy smile that you have in your blog pic.

    Keep talking, it helps to get all that stuff out. No need to apologize for the meltdown, just let it all out.

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  4. Sorry you had such a bad weekend. We all have meltdowns - so don't sweat it!
    It sounds like I need to go to spin class!!

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  5. Sorry Julie, I'm a bit late coming into this as I've not checked blogs in a few days.

    Anyway, I hope the fact that you're at least sounding better means that the meltdown is behind you. God I hate those things.

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  6. I do spinning as well. It's very cathartic! Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog. It made me smile! I've added you on my blog list as well.

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  7. Meltdowns aren't entirely bad. Glad you are feeling somewhat better. Sorry that you were having such a hard time before. I wish family members didn't have to be so difficult.

    KimN

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  8. I was thinking of you all weekend - and trying to come up with something helpful to post to you. But, it didn't come in time. What I was going to say is that every family has one - one family member that does crazy-ass things and stomps all over the others. It is very difficult to figure out how to handle them without loosing your own dignity and self-respect. HUGS that you struggled with this over the weekend and congrats that you are feeling better. Sometimes a big purge really is helpful!

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  9. I've been away and am just now catching up on my blog reading. Please don't apologize for having a meltdown--we all have them at one time or another. I also have a couple of self-destructive sibs, both of whom bit my hand when I tried to help them. What can you do? In the end, everyone is responsible for the choices he makes. All you can do is try to help, but even then, you aren't required to try and try and try . . . enough is enough.

    Glad to hear that your adoption is moving along!

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