Thursday, April 21, 2005
Nope, not the pretty ones floating around outside in the beautiful spring air. I'm talking about those devil butterflies that like to reside in my tummy! Marc has his first interview with the social worker tonight. She called yesterday evening and apologized for not getting back to us sooner. She said she looked at her calendar and realized that next week was Passover and could we schedule the meeting for tonight. Of course, Marc said yes. Why am I nervous? Marc is the most incredibly fantastic man in the world. He's going to make the best Daddy in the world. She has to adore him. I guess I'm nervous because whether I like it or not... this woman is holding our future in her hands. I hated being out of control when I was dealing with my infertility (not that fertility is ever really in our control) and now I am out of control with the adoption. I actually feel more out of control with the adoption. There was much more for me to do with the infertility. I was sticking needles into my stomach and legs, going to the doctor 2x a week. In yoga class the other day, our teacher, Steve, said that sometimes we have to learn to be kind to ourselves. Not stress out our bodies and minds over things that are out of our control. He spoke of waiting for a plane and the plane was delayed. He just accepted the fact that sometimes things are on other people's schedule's and he can't change that. I guess I have to just accept the fact that this part of my life is on someone else's schedule. Today I will try to be kinder to my stomach and not let this get to me too much. (this concludes the granola crunchy part of my blog - you can stop throwing up now).