Broken Hearted

I had once said that my heart was broken when my Dad died. Now I know it's true and I have proof - an EKG was taken today (for some super minor hand surgery I'm supposed to have for a cyst) and it shows a left axis - anterior fascicular block. What does that mean? According to my adorable doctor, it means the lines go down when they should go up. It could be indicative of a past heart attack she says but she doesn't feel that the case. She said I need to know this because if I was in the ER for something and got an EKG, they may think I was having or had a heart attack.

I left there with an okay attitude and called Mom. She flips out and tells me I have to call Dad's cardiologist immediately. She reminds me that my father's side of the family has a history of heart disease. Fuck.

I get back into the office and promptly call the cardiologist. Cardiologist assistant is lovely and has me fax the EKG into her office. She's going to review it w/the Cardiologist and see if it's something they need to see me about immediately or if it's something that can be scheduled normally (I want a full workup as I'm planning to do the MS 150).

Then I start thinking to myself that this is just a baseline - I've never had an EKG before so don't panic yet..... yet..... wait.... what about 10 years ago when I was sick. DOUBLE FUCK

Here's a bizarre story for you.

I woke up one day at 3:00 a.m. with a blinding headache. I never get headaches like this. I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning (I had fallen asleep to a show about CM poisoning). I drove around at 3:00 a.m. looking for a store that had a CM detector - finally found one, came home, plugged it in and it showed nothing. Decided in my haze of pain that it was broken and called the gas company who promptly came out and told me I was crazy. Shortly after the gas guy left is when it hit... horrible vomiting & diarrhea at the same time (thank Gd my toilet & sink were next to each other). I ended up passing out a number of times and ended up in the hospital. I had a 94 degree temp when I got there (brother took me) due to the dehydration. The hooked me up to an IV and also gave me an EKG because I had a horrible pressure in my chest.

Now I don't think I had a heart attack that day - they said the EKG was fine... but... they said it was fine. If this thingie is something that is my baseline then it would have showed up then. TRIPLE FUCK

Needless to say, I have a call into my regular doctor to tell her that I'm not convinced this is "normal" for me.

I really need to relax this weekend!