It's amazing what an hour or so

of cuddling can do to one's emotional well being. This morning the alarm went off at 5:15 a.m. The house was freezing because the windows were open and we were snuggled up under our big down comforter. I moved to get up and Marc just grabbed me and snuggled up and told me that we didn't have to go to the gym today. We just laid in bed, snuggled up, occasionally beating the shit out of the alarm clocks. When I finally managed to peel myself away from him I felt recharged. My depression lifted a bit. My physical pain had subsided (been suffering from major reflux) and just felt stronger. Go figure - a day I don't work out - I feel like I could take on the world. I'm having dinner with my Mom tonight. Tonight I will learn why I have been getting the cold shoulder. As a good friend pointed out... I need to stop worrying about the "why" of things. I worked on that last night. I'm trying to let go of the "why" and I think it's helping me not worry about tonight. There is nothing I can do about the why - only how I react to it. Hopefully my therapist will call me back today to schedule an appointment.

A little lightness....

Thanks to my friend Suby (aka Cathy) on the weight watcher's GDT board today for this lovely quote.... I'd rather go to the gyno than the dentist, but of course, when I go to the gyno, I know in advance how many cavities there are. Amen Sister!

Hurting

I suck. I am a terrible daughter. A terrible sister. Why? I don't know. I must. My family wants nothing to do with me. When I speak to my mom, she's cold as ice. My sister didn't call me on my birthday. Neither did my Dad or brother. All I can think of is my birthday. I wanted to have a nice dinner at home with my family. My Mom said I shouldn't have to cook and I told her Marc would cook. She told me she would cook and bring it here. When I found out that my brother wasn't coming (I had to call him, 4pm the night before the dinner) he made some very lame excuse as to why he couldn't come. I told my Mom and she announced that we would go out. I told her that's not what I wanted and I was basically told "tough shit". Being my usually self, I agreed but I told her I didn't want fancy. My father called to tell me what restaurant and I told him I didn't want to go there. Again.. tough shit. Again, like a pussy I agreed to go. Service sucked, the food sucked and my sister spent most of evening on her cell phone. My mom busted on me (as she loves to do). I told her that I really wanted them to come over for cake and coffee. Half way through dinner she tells me she doesn't want to come over and that she'll come over the next day. NO! I want them to come over Saturday. The stayed for maybe 20 minutes at that. Long enough to have cake and coffee and out the door they went. Before they left I told my Mom I wanted to sleep in and not to all and wake me. She called at 11:00 a.m. the next day to wish me a very cold happy birthday and told me she wouldn't be singing to me because I asked her not to. I have no idea what is going on. I'm so tired of the passive aggressive bullshit. I'm tired of every little comment, every little action creating drama. Walking on eggshells so not to offend anyone. I can't relax, I'm always worried about upsetting people. I have a very highly developed level of guilt and I really need to get over it otherwise it's a legacy I will pass on to Dylan. Something I desperately don't want to do. To say I am suffering from depression is putting it mildly. The only way I have been able to hold it together has been with Marc' support and dreams of Dylan. First thing Monday morning I am calling my therapist. It's been years since I've seen her but I am having such a hard time dealing that I need to borrow some of her strength. This is why I haven't been blogging much. The promotion has taken so much of my energy that by the time I get home, I just want to eat dinner and go to bed. It's sad. I haven't been able to enjoy this time in my life. It's been something I've always dreamed of and I'm just miserable.

Sorry I've been MIA

I've been trying to get my head around some family shit since this past weekend and I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. I've also been training someone new in my department so that has been taking up a ton of time and energy - by the time I get home... I'm wiped out! The new guy is doing well and my promotion will be announced at the end of this month. Yikes!!! Yesterday we were in a meeting and my brain detatched and said to me "What the fuck is going on here? You.. A manager... Are you kidding me???" So many times I've worked for companies that told me that I would advance quickly only to be knocked down. My current company? Tell them where you want to go and they will help you get there. How cool is that?? I have to call my agency today. I think there is a conspiracy going on. Barb just got her DNA match and her son was wearing my son's outfit! We think they may be foster brothers. I'm waiting to call the agency to find out if it could be true. I may not be posting a lot over the next few days - I want to get a handle on myself and what is going on in my head plus I have Yom Kipper to deal with. For my Jewish friends, have an easy fast and I'll catch you all on the flip side.

On a positive note...

It's Friday, the weekend is about to begin and I'm just about done work. This is my birthday weekend and it's the last birthday I'll have without a child. This weekend it's all about me! I'm having dinner with my family on Saturday night and Sunday, Marc and I are going to a nice romantic dinner somewhere nice (it's a surprise, I'll let you all know on Monday). Remember, we all get out of the world what we put into it. If you put out negative vibes and evil thoughts, that is what will come back to you. If you put out positive vibes and good thoughts, that is what will come back to you as well so.... what's it going to be?? Be kind to yourself and others. Do at least one thing a day to make yourself laugh and at least two things a day to make others laugh. It's hard to be mad or sad when you have a case of the giggles. This concludes my granola chunchy entry. Have a great weekend!

Blog Drama

It never ceases to amaze me how some people get so caught up in drama. There is some drama that you have to get caught up in. I can understand when it involves your family, your close friends (even some not so close - real life acquaintances even fall into this category), your job, your home, etc. but when we are talking cyberspace.... that's a whole different ballpark. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not referring to spirited discussions that take place on various blogs over whether or not breastfeeding should be allowed in public or whether to allow a child to cry it out. These are conversations. People voicing their opinion in hopes that maybe, just maybe they will sway someone over to their side of the fence. No, I'm talking about he said she said bullshit and people leaving nasty comments on each others blogs over stupid bullshit. Oh, and this isn't just on blogs... I see it on boards too (hi WW peeps!). I'm not saying I'm high and mighty and I don't get worked up when some ignorant asshole calls me fat and ugly (oh wait, I deleted that post didn't I?) but I get over it quickly enough. Readers.... do you get worked up too? Do you get so upset over internet postings that you leave nasty comments (whether anonymously or straight to their face) in an attempt to do nothing more than hurt people? Do you sit in front of your computer just seething? Do you lay in bed at night wondering what you can do to scare/hurt/injure, etc. the people who have offended you??? If you do... I have a secret for you - the people that you are upset with couldn't give a shit about you and have probably already forgotten about you. They have a real life with real friends and real family. So, as my WW peeps would say, pull up your big girl panties and move on with your lives. By the way, this is in response to about a dozen or so blogs I have seen recently with some pretty vicious shit in the comments (all not related to each other) as well as some pretty funny shit I've seen on my WW boards.

Forgive me Infertiles for I Have Sinned

I feel like such a piece of shit tonight. I learned that a fellow suffer gave birth to twins. Instead of rejoicing I was overcome with jealousy. This is not a friend mind you. She used to be. The friendship was toxic to me and I had to end it however I don't wish her ill. Yet, when I discovered she achieved what I had so desperately tried to grasp... I was overcome. I wanted to yell and scream and throw things. Yeah, really fucking grown up I know. Please don't get me wrong, our infertility has given us Dylan and I wouldn't change anything. Dylan is our son. We had to go through the fertility chase in order to get to this point... I get that. It doesn't make this hurt any less. Please feel free to flame me... I do deserve it.

Shit - I done gone and got tagged.

A Mini Meme Speckblog tagged me for this meme. It's a good one.The Rules: 1. Go into your archive. 2. Find your 23rd post. 3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to). 4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. 5. Tag five other people to do the same. My sentence: I hate it when they sneak up on me. This post was entitled "Wow, where is this coming from?" I was blabbering on about feeling down and that those feeling just snuck up on me. I was trying to decide if I should bag out on my friend Joelle who I had made plans with to go to yoga and dinner (I went - and was very glad I did). I tag... Deep Kick Girl, Ms Prufrock, Gabe's Mommy, Lumi (who hasn't posted much lately), and Barb

3 Months Ago Today

Our boy came into this world. Gd I just wish I could go get him already! We received an update with a medical report and photograph and instead of making me happy, it made me a bit sad. He's smiling in the photograph. I don't know who he's smiling at (probably his foster mother) but it's not me or Marc. Was this his first smile? What other milestones have we missed? Ok, I'll fess up, the wait is really starting to get to me. I know that in a few months this will all just be a fading memory but it hurts so much right now. Thank you all for your input in my last post. It gave me a lot to think about and I'm sure if I'm ever in public and see a blended family - I will probably keep my mouth shut.

It's a Small World After All

Sorry for the ear worm (hehehehe). Wednesday night I had to pick Marc up from an appointment. I managed to score a parking spot right in front of where Marc's meeting was so I just sat in the car and relaxed. I heard someone talking and looked into my side view mirror and saw a man with two children and a stroller. Now, I knew that these children were Guatemalan for two reasons... reason one was because Marc had heard that there was a family w/Guatemalan children on the block and two... well, they looked Guatemalan. Anyway, I was debating on getting out of the car when Marc came out and told me that we should just go say hello. We approached the Dad and introduced ourselves and explained that we were going to be adopting from Guatemala. He was so sweet and so excited for us. Turns out.... we are going through the same agency he did! When we asked our agency about the length of time we could expect to bring home our son, they said the quickest they have ever brought home a baby was 4 1/2 months and the longest was 11 months (but that was a single parent during Hague). Guess what, he was both! First baby was 11 months and second was 4 1/2 months. I know that some bloggers are torn as to whether or not to approach strangers that may also be adoptive parents. I say... go for it! We are obviously blended families. We are different. We stand out. Might as well embrace it! (yes, I know I may change my mind after Dylan comes home but.... for now - that's my opinion). Parents who have adoptive children - how would you feel if a stranger approached you and told you that your child is beautiful and then asked if you had adopted because they were/had adopted as well. I'm not talking about the nosy body in the store that just assumes that because your child looks different that they are adopted. I mean a fellow adopter. Are you comfortable with that? I'm curious to hear your opinions.

Shipped

Last night Marc and I went to the main post office in our city to mail a 12.6lb package to Dylan. I was very jealous of the clothes & toys in that box. They were going to touch my son before us. When you send clothing down, it's usually with the understanding that you won't be getting it back. The foster parents keep them for their future foster children. It was with that in mind that we bought a really adorable Eagle's onsie. We are just hoping her next foster son's parents are Cowboy's fans (hehehehe). We also sent down some toys, 6 disposable cameras, and a gift for the foster mother. For those of you who are adopting from Guatemala, Global Express Mail through the post office was $64 for 12.6lbs and they should have it in 3-5 days. Dylan could be wearing his outfits by this weekend! Plus, it's traceable so I can watch to make sure it gets down there ok. Still waiting on preapproval and our newest update. Oh, please stop by Barb's and give her some lovin. The fucking lab misplaced her DNA results. I'm sure they will find them but they are giving her some major stress.

In Search of Shalom

Shalom is Hebrew. Shalom is one of those wonderful word that have multiple means. Shalom can mean hello. Shalom can mean goodbye. Shalom also means peace. This is what I have been seeking. It was very obvious to me last night that my search for a synagogue to call home was also a search for peace. Last night, among the 200+ people (most were under 10 and quite loud) I found some peace. Not peace and quite mind you. No, it was (as the Rabbi put it) 100+ decibels in the room where we were having Shabbat dinner but I still felt very peaceful. Around me tons of children played and parents chased around the littler ones. It was nice to see parents so relaxed not knowing if there children were somewhere in the dining area, running through the synagogue halls or under someone's table. They knew their children were safe and having fun and that's all that matters. Since we were new to the synagogue, our name tags had little green stars on them to indicate that we were first timers. Many people (both Rabbi's and the Cantor) came over to introduce themselves and tell us all of the reasons we should join their synagogue. After dinner (roast chicken, potatoes & green beans) the Rabbi called for all of the children over 7 to join him in the Temple so of course Marc and I followed (the other Rabbi stayed behind to have services for the parents and the little ones). We walked into the chapel and what a sight! There were children running all over the place. On the Bimah, standing behind the podium (you could hardly see the tops of their head) pretending to be the Rabbi or the Cantor. The Rabbi walked in and asked for everyone to take their seats. Wow! The kids complied immediately and a hush came over the room. We sang, we prayed and we played games. It was wonderful! He really has a wonderful presence! After the services (which were extremely short), we went back to the original area we were in for dessert and more conversation. It was heavenly. Marc and I really enjoyed ourselves and felt welcome. We still want to look at at least one other synagogue before we decide but this one is definitely in the running! Saturday we went to the Princeton vs. USD game. USD lost but we had a great time. Sunday we cleaned out the basement so that we can hire an exterminator to help us with our cricket problem. It was a dirty job but it's done! Yay!

Now what?

We have at least 3 weeks before we can even email the Embassy about our pre-approval. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?? With the infertility shit, there was always something to do. A doctor's appointment, bloodwork, cootercam, temping, peeing on sticks, something! It's hurry up and wait with nothing to do. That's ok - tonight we're going to stop at BJ's wholesale, get some disposable cameras, wash the clothes we bought him and box it up to send to Guatemala. Tomorrow we have Shabbat dinner at a synagogue we are considering joining. It's funny - at our reunion we were talking with an old friend and it turns out he belongs to the synagogue (and is very happy with it). I've been missing out on my Jewishness from a community perspective. I hope this place will fit both of our needs.

Law Update and a Request for some Lovin'

The law was not read yesterday. Apparently there were more pressing issues to be discussed and the reading was put off. More importantly, 200 protesters arrived at the Congress steps and had the opportunity to voice their concerns directly to some of the Congress which seems to have had a positive effect. You can read more about it at Guatadopt. --------------------------- On to more pressing issues... My dear friend Deanna. She is facing some obstacles with her adoption right now and could use your prayers/positive vibes/good thoughts etc. Oh, unless you are that icky troll that has been harrassing her and telling her that I shouldn't be adopting because I say fuck. If you are on my blog (and don't worry sweetie, I can tell when you are here), I will be forced to bring my minions to your blog and harrass the ever loving shit out of you.

Update Time!

We have DNA and it's a 99.99% match :) Along with the DNA test, we also received a photograph of Dylan's birthmother holding him. She is beautiful. Stunning actually. She was smiling sweetly in the photograph. I wondered if it was because she was told to smile. I hope it was because she was at peace with her decision and because she knew that some day Dylan would be looking at this photograph and wanted him to see her that way. I hope it's the later. Looks like the second vote on The Ortega Law takes place today. This law definitely has it's benefits and I can see how it, ultimately, would streamline the process. However, there is nothing in this law that provides for the children while the law is being implemented which means that hundreds of children could be stranded while it's implemented. I also worry (selfishly) about how this law can effect our adoption as well. If the stories I have heard from the Hague disaster are any indication, this process could take a lot longer than we expected. I hope and pray that it doesn't happen until they can put a plan into place to take care of the children in the interim and not effect the currently adoptions taking place.

Wow, that was crazy!

On Saturday night, Marc and I went to my 20th High School Reunion. It was great seeing everyone. Everyone was floored at how much I had changed. I went from

TO.................... in 20 years. What you can't tell from my HS photo is that I had dirty blonde hair (yes, the truth is out, it's not "real"). I was uber skinny in high school and I'm not uber skinny any more. But I can say without any hesitation... I am happy.

It's interesting that out of the 200 or so people who attended this shindig, Marc and I managed to find the infertiles in the crowd. One was in the process of adopting from China and the other was struggling because her husband wasn't sure he could adopt. Everyone fawned over our pictures of Dylan and wished us well. No stupid remarks.

I hugged my arch nemesis, Jackie. She made my life miserable in school. Living well was my best revenge and it's been 20 years! 20 years ago she made my life hell but in the 20 years since I have seen her, I have grown past it all and Saturday night gave me a great deal of closure

If you are considering going to a reunion (especially 20+ years).... go! It's funny, a girl I knew since elementary school and I were talking about a mutual friend. She said "remember when Niki and I had a crush on the same guy?" I squealed "Dennis!" We laughed. She said "I remember how crushed I was that he liked her better. It's funny what was important to us back then". She's right. I hugged a woman who beat the shit out of me. I talked to people I never would have had anything in common with in high school that are now in a place in their lives that are very close to where I am. Many look at time as our enemy (especially in the IF world). Sometimes, it can heal us. I feel healed.

----------------------------------------

Ok, I've healed with regard to high school but NOT when it comes to the infertility shit. I got pregnanted AGAIN! Not only did I get pregnanted again but then she has the nerve to give me shit about vaccines! She tells me I'm going to get pregnant I tell her "I hope not". She told me that her kids aren't vaccinated and she got a religious exemption (even though her religion doesn't say shit about vaccines - she lied). I asked her where her kids go to school and she asked me why. I told her I wanted to make sure my son was no where near her kids. She tells me... "I've read 3 books on the subject". Um, I've spoken with doctors, educators, infectious disease people, I've read many books and reports... My kids are getting shots. I had them, Marc had them (with the mercury most likely) and we are fine! My sister-in-law is a pediatrician (who I respect greatly) and told me that when she has kids, she will have them immunized. She just said, "well, if your kids are immunized, they have nothing to worry about from my kids". Yeah, ok asshat.

I'm so proud I could burst!

My friend on Team GDT have raised almost $32,000 for their fight against breast cancer. I'm so proud of them! If you are interested in helping the cause, there's still time. Just go to http://tinyurl.com/ar3pj and make your donation. __________________ Still no DNA results for Dylan yet. My lovely socialworker, L, emailed the lab to see what is going on. I'm hoping for at least a verbal match today but since L is not in on Friday's... I doubt that would happen.

GIMME A G, GIMME A D, GIMME A T....

What's that stand for????? A group of amazing people I call friends who are going to Boston this weekend to honor our friend Annie and run in a 5k to raise money to fight breast cancer. So far, they have raised over $20,000. That's right, not $200, not $2,000, $20,000! Check out their site and, if you can donate. Race for the Cure

This Weekend and Other Happy Thoughts

One of my oldest and bestest friend, Jenn, came in with her boyfriend, David this weekend for a visit. Marc and I have never met this boyfriend and, after much pondering realized that this is the first time Jennifer and I have been in relationships at the same time (with the exception of when we met 10+ years ago in Israel). We had much fun! We went out to eat, made fun of David's dreamy French accent (which every waitress we encountered seem to swoon at), drank many cocktails and much wine. Wondered around the city and just got to know him. The verdict.... We like him! We really like him. I can't begin to say how great it is to see Jenn so happy. Whenever she's been in relationships in the past, she has always had this shadow in her eyes. Like a question was lurking in her mind. She was always very intense and very much on guard with these men. This time it's so beautifully different. Her eyes sparkle, her body language is relaxed. They would kid and play and tease each other and didn't give a fuck who was around. Yes! That's what it's all about! Not drama. This beautiful woman has, up until now, had horrible luck with men. With the exception of physical abuse, I bet she can top just about any bad date story you can come up with. What's crazy is she is beautiful (not just average, we are talking exotic), incredibly intelligent, has amazing artistic talent, published author and a heart of gold. She has been there through so much for me... I'm so happy to see her, well... happy! Ok, now I need to get a little weird and post something that only 1 person (and maybe that person's minions) will understand..... Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. This is the start of something special. Remember that. Today is a good day to start something new. You deserve to be happy. Enjoy this time and welcome to the ride my sister. Ok... back to me again :) Still no sign of the DNA results and still no update on the law.

To answer your question....

We don't know when we will be able to bring Dylan home. We are thinking it's anywhere from the 2-4 month range. This court decision court make it shorter or longer. We have no way of knowing. Once we have DNA results, we go to family court for preapproval. Once we have preapproval, we go to PGN (their version of the Attorney General's Office) for approval. Once we have approval, our birth certificate is requested from Guatemala City. Once we have the birth certificate, we go get him :) To answer Caroline's question... No, we are not doing a visit trip. Our attorney in Guatemala will only allow us to see him for a few hours and only during the week. We just can't take the time off of work so we are praying we can get him soon.

Timeline

I've been asked to show our timeline for the adoption process... here it goes! Timeline To Dylan 03/13/05 - Decision to Adopt Announced 03/28/05 - Application to Agencies Mailed/ Paperwork Started 03/31/05 - Application Received by Agency 04/11/05 - Met with Social Worker for Home Study Interview 04/21/05 - Marc met with Social Worker for Home Study Interview 04/25/05 - I600 Mailed to INS 04/28/05 - First Communication w/Adoption Agency (Email) 05/05/05 - Letter from INS - Missing BC/MC 05/09/05 - Home Study In Home Visit and Couple's Interview 06/08/05 - Received completed Home Study 06/16/05 - Home Study to INS 07/06/05 - Fingerprinted for INS 07/08/05 - ********REFERRAL!!!********** 07/13/05 - Wire to Attorney 07/20/05 - State Authentication Received 07/21/05 - Sent to Liason for Guatemalan Consulate Authentication 07/22/05 - Everything but I797 is in SC 07/27/05 - I797 is received and sent to SC 08/05/05 - Dossier sent to Guatemala 08/25/05 - Updated Medical Report & Photos 09/06/05 - DNA Performed We are currently waiting on the results. Cross your fingers that they are in our mailbox at home. This wait has gotten very difficult for me. It's really getting to me lately and I'm barely holding it together. There is some legislation pending that could really effect adoptions. We would still move forward with Dylan (the legislation would really effect new adoptions) but I worry that it would slow things down for us considerably.

Squeaking in one more post before the weekend begins...

I'm very excited. Marc and I are checking out a Synagogue in 2 weeks. They have a group for young married couples and we have been invited to Shabbat Dinner. Marc prefers the Conservative flavor of Judaism where I prefer the more egalitarian Reform flavor. This Synagogue sounds like it has both flavors under one roof (a spiritual chocolate & vanilla if you will). They follow the traditional Conservative service but they have a woman Chazzan or Cantor. It's been a long time since I've had a desire to be in synagogue. Many years ago, I found a synagogue that touched my heart. I felt welcomed and accepted. My parents became very active, my sister went to school and celebrated her Bat Mitzvah there. Then, our little community was thrust into the news. Our Rabbi was accused (and ultimately convicted) of murdering his wife. It also came to light that he had numerous affairs. I, like most people I knew at the time, put the clergy on a pedestal. They were beyond reproach. My spiritual world took a major hurting during that time that I don't feel that I've fully recovered from. I went on to have an adult Bat Mitzvah a few years after this happened at the same synagogue. Then, the remaining Rabbi left and in his place were people that I couldn't relate to. People who would ignore me just because they didn't know my name (after being introduced numerous times). So I've just drifted. Going to that synagogue on High Holidays with my parents or going with Marc's family to his family's synagogue. My only desire was to get out as quickly as possible and that just made me sad. So, while going through our home study process, our lovely social worker, S, was telling us how much she loves her synagogue and how she would love for us to come and see it. She extended the invitation and we are taking her up on it. I hope it's someplace that both Marc and I, together, will feel comfortable enough to call home. Not only for us but for Dylan. I know that they have experience with adoptive children because our social worker has an adopted child.

Ending the week on a happy note.....

We have a "positive" sighting in IF blogland. Please go give Eggs some congrats on her insanely unexpected surprise. Have a good weekend everyone. Be kind to yourselves and those around you.

Just a friendly reminder & an update

This site is copyright protected (see notice to the left). That means no copying and pasting my site, no printing it's lovely pages without the Queen's authority (in case you didn't know... I'm the Queen. Ok, on to happy things... DNA testing is done! When we were going crazy with the photos yesterday I asked L (our social worker) if she would check on the DNA status. I was looking for a date for the DNA testing to take place. Imagine my surprise when I got the response that the testing had been performed and we should have results in a week! How cool is that?? We are just cruising along.

What a Weekend!

What a great weekend it was! On Saturday we did our usual routine of gym, weight watchers (down 1.6lbs YaY!) and breakfast. We added in a leisurely stroll through town where we ran into my boss. I snuck up behind him and grabbed his ass. Luckily I have a boss cool enough to permit ass grabbing and a husband who loves me enough to be cool w/me indulging (especially when it's my gay boss). We did a little shopping for Dylan. We plan to send some clothes, toys and cameras down to his foster mother. Went home, did yardwork and went to a birthday party at one of our favorite restaurants. While we were there, ran into Princess and her friends from Israel. Sunday, we did more yard work and then went to a barbecue for our friend's son's first birthday. It was a blast! It's amazing. We saw the baby 2 weeks ago and he was just starting to take his first steps. Two weeks pass and he's tearing through the yard! It's amazing how quickly it happens. After the barbecue, we saw The 40 Year Old Virgin. Probably one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. If you haven't seen it - trust me when I say... don't drink anything before the show - you may pee yourself! Monday... well, Monday was sheer heaven on earth. We woke up early, made a big pot of coffee and sat out back and enjoyed our back yard for the first time this year. We cleaned off the table and chairs, put up the umbrella, grabbed our books and just relaxed. We read, had breakfast, read some more, talked, watched the birds and bugs float through the yard. We took a break and did some shopping (Macy's had a huge sale on area rugs - can't have Dylan crawling around on hardwood can we?). We came home and sat outside some more, then went inside (insert imagination), had dinner and then went to sleep. It was a perfect day off. This morning, after the gym, I find that we have an updated picture & medical report on Dylan. Yay! Marc and I were so excited. Through my excitement, when I looked at the photo, it just didn't seem right. I brushed it off and decided it was my imagination. I then get an IM from my friend Barb. "Call me" she IM's which I promptly do. They switched our photos! We had ourselves a really good laugh but our agency was furious with the lawyer. I told her to save her anger for when we are in PGN or when we are waiting on the birth certificate. This shit is the easy part.

Oh, I forgot to ask

I saw a post on a blog this week about a woman who took her baby (adopted from Guatemala) to a yard sale and met a young man who was also adopted from Guatemala. I wanted to show Marc the blog entry but now I can't find it. If you know what I am talking about, could you please point me in the right direction? Thanks

Have a Good Weekend

And please, hug your loved ones a little tighter this weekend. Please remember those in New Orleans who have lost everything. Their family members, their homes, their memories. Please pray or wish that they are rescued soon. If you want to give but aren't sure what charity you want to send your money to, please check out http://give.org/news/katrina.asp. They reseach the charities and can tell you how much goes to the cause and how much goes to administrative fees. I found it very helpful in decided where to donate.

First, an update....

We got the request for DNA testing on Monday. We promptly filled it out and faxed it back. Now, the DNA test can take place. This is to ensure that the birth mother is, in fact, the birth mother. She has to sign off for the third time. I've been told that if the birth mother is going to change her mind, this is when it usually happens.

Ok, which one of you

Is from Bozeman? I keep seeing Bozeman MT on my sitemeter and I'm intrigued. Please delurk and say hi :) Oh, and the person from XO.com too. Who are you?

What is a blog??

I get that question a lot as do many of my blogging friends. Why put yourself out there? Why put your heart out to the world? Well, some blogs (like mine) are definitely out there. Both mine and Marc's families read my blog because I told them about it and gave them permission. I do honestly believe that I could have even gone as far as telling them about it but asking for them not to read it and that they would respect my feelings because, well, that's the way they are. They are good people. There are some people in the blogging community (hi Wolfette!) who have two blogs. One for friends and family to read to stay up to date on what's going on in their lives and a deep dark private one for, well, their imaginary friends (like me) to read and help them on their journey of infertility, adoption, addiction, etc. You get the point. One of my darling blogging buddies have been violated in one of the worse forms of betrayal. Her mother-in-law (hereinafter known as cunt-in-law or CIL for short) broke into her computer, used her daughter-in-law's email account to email the blog to herself at home and then proceeded to read her entire private blog. Wait! It gets better my lovely friends! Her cunt-in-law then proceeds (after confronted on her betrayal) to email pages of the blog that she had downloaded to all of the people she vented about so they could see what she had written about them. My friends, we ALL complain about the people in our lives. This doesn't mean we don't love them, respect them and care for them. It means for a moment or two in time, they have pissed you off and you vented about them and then you get over it. I hope her family who received these heinous emails understand that and I hope her CIL rots in hell. Now, I know many of you are wondering why I am writing this. Apparently the idiot also downloaded her bloglines list and has been frequenting blogs on the list so.... if the cunt-in-law comes here - I'll be able to track her and laugh in her ugly face. Friends of Wolfette (Just Keep Swimming), please post your notes of love and support. Let this horrible, horrible woman know how awful we think she is!

Breast Cancer....

Is a serious problem. Millions of women all over the world are effected by this dreadful disease. A group of amazing women that I know from weight watchers are participating in the Race for the Cure in Boston and have a goal of raising $20,000 as a team. They are a little over $15,000 so far and I am beyond proud of them. I know many of you are focusing your giving on Katrina victims and other charities. If you would like to help my friends out, they would greatly appreciate it! You can check out their fund raising efforts on the Susan G Koman website.

Ya Got Me!

My darling Princess tells me that her friends are coming in from Europe to see her for her birthday. We are going to all have brunch together. Can you believed I fell for this line of crap? I honestly thought I was going to get to meet the wonderful friends she made on her adventure in Israel. Nope... not happening. Instead, my wonderful sister threw me a Baby Shower. My friends Andy & Lori came down from Boston to see us (we love you guys), my favorite cousin Judith was there, cousins and Aunts, my sister-in-law brought the kids (all three G-d bless her), my friend Val brought her newest addition (I had much baby cuddle time which was wonderful), my Mother-In-Law and her sister were there (which is huge because our families don't get along). They got me good. :)

We have a medical Update

He's growing like crazy. He's gone from the 25% in height and weight to the 75% percentile and his head went from 10% to 10-25%. He's had his second Hep B vaccine and is sporting an umbilical hernia which is not a big deal (from what we are told). WE are also #11 in line for DNA testing. This is a very important step. The birth mother will be signing off for a third time during DNA testing and she will be with the baby and hold him for a photograph. This is a point that, if a birth mother were to change her mind, this is when she would do it. I would understand if she did, he's a beatiful baby. I hope that she is at peace with her choice. She is (and will always be) in my prayers. Congrats to Kim who has just received her referral of an absolutely, positively beautiful little girl. Crazy girl and her crazy husband are flying off toot sweet to meet their little one. Safe journey Kim & Dan :) Tonight we are grocery shopping for Saturday. What's Saturday you ask? Just a big, crazy bash with about a bazillion Parrotheads. We are partying with about 40 other people starting at 11 a.m. Should be much fun.

Bloggers, Bloggers helping... Bloggers

Ok People. We need some help here. Seems that my friend Wolfette has become the victim of an internet scam. They have stolen almost $1,000 from this poor women (a fellow IF'r) and she is having such a hard time getting her money back. Please, if you know how to help this wonderful woman, please please please go post on her blog. If you can't help - go give her some much needed loving. She's been through so much and she really doesn't need this. Thanks!

And Now, For Something Completely Different

Please go give some much needed love and support to our friend at Deadbug. She is completely wigging out (and justifiably so!).

Update and Some Blogger Happy News

First... I spoke with our social worker L at the agency. She is very upset that we don't have an update and gave us the number of the pediatrician in Guatemala. She said he is very kind and speaks fairly decent English. I have called our pediatrician here to find out if she will call on our behalf and, if not, what questions we should ask the doctor. UGH - this is frustrating! Second - a bit of happy news over at Deanna's so go give her some loving. She and her wonderful husband are going to become parents to a baby boy who is due October 10th. It's a beautiful day today and I hope I have time to get out an enjoy a little of it. What I really feel like doing is calling the pediatrician and then, when I know everything is ok, kidnap Marc and go down the shore. It's so nice outside and I just want to stroll along the boardwalk, holding hands with my sweetie, trying not to buy the incredible treats they sell up and down the boardwalk.

It's Right Around The Corner

I can feel it. My favorite time of year. I love the fall. The leaves turn incredible colors, the weather gets a bit cooler, the air smells sweeter... I just love it! And it also means that Halloween is right around the corner too! It's my favorite holiday. Last year was the first year that I handed out candy to treat-or-treaters in my own home. Before Marc and I were married, I lived in an apartment complex that really didn't have any children and before that I lived with my parents and they were in charge of trick or treaters. Last year, we made an uber cool pumpkin using stencils we purchased over the internet and sat on the front step (it was beautiful outside) to hand out candy to the neighborhood children. They were so cute and the parents were so nice. Next year we will be walking around the neighborhood with Dylan in his first Halloween costume. I can't wait! We are still waiting on the medical report. I am sure if there was a problem, we would know but I won't be comfortable until we have it in our hands.

It's not too late!!!!!

This is a repost - why is it a repost? Because this is important! Heather is coming up on her final deadline for donations for her race. So... here's Heather's letter and a link if you'd like to contribute to a very worthy cause. from my friend Heather......I am writing this letter to invite you to help people with cancer and their families, LIVE STRONG!Last year I decided that I needed to join the fight against cancer. Cancer has affected me throughout my life as I am sure it has affected most of you in some way or another. I made this decision because my mother is a two-year survivor of breast cancer and I had a brother who died of cancer called neuroblastoma. For me, finding out my mom had breast cancer was very frightening. I was with her during the visits to the doctor, her surgery, and her radiation treatments. Thankfully, we are able to celebrate the fact that the doctor removed all the cancer and that she is going to be fine. It has been two year and she is still cancer free. As for my brother, I have no memory of what my family went though. I was born the year after he died. He had a rare childhood cancer called neuroblastoma that has recently received national coverage thanks to Alexandra Scott and Alex's Lemonade Stand. Alex and my brother Scott had the same type of cancer. Scott unfortunately did not live as long as Alex, Scott was 23 months when he died Alex was 10 years old. While I never knew him, he has always been a part of my life. I have come to know the challenges that my parents and sister went through during his illness and the people that they met and supported them. In October 2004, I met a new challenge: I rode in the Bristol Myers Squibb Tour of Hope, which benefits the Lance Armstrong Foundation. This is a ride between Los Angeles and Washington, D.C. I joined the Tour on the last leg into Washington. It was very emotional for me to ride up to the point where we met the national riders and see people from all over the country unite for one cause to help raise money for cancer. As we started that last leg, we were greeted by a large number of people holding signs thanking us for our efforts in fighting cancer. It made me realize that I was making a difference in many of these people's lives. We rode as one massive group to help fight cancer, to help fund cancer education and to support people with cancer. I am asking you to help me raise money this year because I am riding in the Ride for the Roses, part of the Lance Armstrong Foundation's Peloton Project in Austin, TX in October. The Peloton Project is the Lance Armstrong Foundation's major grassroots fundraising initiative that brings together a diverse group of volunteers' dedicated to helping people living with cancer live strong. My goal for 2005 is to raise $10,000 for the foundation. I will pay all my expenses to and from Austin. All money I collect will go to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.I ask that you sponsor me by contributing to the Lance Armstrong Foundation. You can send your contribution to me (made payable to the Lance Armstrong Foundation) at 300 S. Lenola Road, Maple Shade, NJ 08052 or visit that Foundation web site at http://tinyurl.com/d7g6u to put your contribution on your credit card. Thank you for your help in supporting the efforts of the Lance Armstrong Foundation to help people with cancer, and their families, LIVE STRONG!Heather GarnickP.S. Please forward this email on to all those people you know that are affected by cancer, everyone can helpLIVE STRONG!

Have I mentioned lately

That I love our agency? Not just because she got us a new picture (still waiting on that medical report) but because our social worker has a wonderful sense of humor. She gets us. Yesterday I sent her a picture of a dog begging to send down to our attorney thinking that may get her to send something (ta da - a picture!). I sent her two more in order to get more pics and the mediacl report. She told me that the attorney will definately know us by the time we get down there and I told her that she'd probably throw her computer at us (hahaha). It's so nice to have the support. I hope we more information soon. I hope the process flies by and we are able to bring home our son very quickly.

Taking a few minutes out from

staring at my new picture of Dylan to post that I have a new picture of Dylan! He's just so cute I can't stand it! He has huge ears (hehehe -just like his Aunt) and beautiful jet balck hair and beautiful lips and nose. His foster mother had him dressed in an adorable outfit too. Now we just need the medical report and I can breath a little easier. Thanks for your kind comments. I do appreciate them!

Pain

Pain I feel over lack of information on Dylan. Pain caused by my family struggles. Sometimes you need the physical pain to dull the emotional pain. That's what I did tonight. Despite my aching shoulder (got hit by a drunk driver 10 years ago and have a tear) I took a yoga class with my dear friend J. I beat myself senseless. At the very end, as I laid on the floor trying to find peace, all I could find were tears. I glanced over at my dear J and she was smiling - I had found release. A release she understood and shared. J, I know you read my blog. I truly love you. You touch my heart and I am so glad to have you as my friend. Thank you for sharing your practice with me - you have helped me find a little peace tonight.

Hey you! Yeah, you - there.

You, in Ridgetop, Tennessee, say hi. Who are you? hehehehehe

We need some big prayers in Blogland

Please go give Suz so huge prayers (or good vibes/thoughts, etc). She just found out that she is carrying identical twins and there could be some problems. So much fertility going on in the infertile world right now. I hope it continues.

Crash! Boom! Flash!

It was incredible! Around 12:30 a.m. Marc and I awoke to the most amazing storm. I asked him what all the noise was (as I was half asleep) and he said he thinks there is a storm. We opened the blinds on the window over our bed and just laid in bed and watched the show. Thunder and lightening and wind... Oh My! It was great. The funny part about all of this is the tree. We have this beautiful, huge tree that sits on another property but overhangs ours. It's a great old tree and I do love it but worry that it will fall onto the house. It sits on a little bit of a hill and just doesn't seem stable (although the property owner assured me that they had an engineer look at it last year and it was stable. Well, I've told Marc that I worry that the tree will fall over onto the house. If that were to happen, it would hit our bedroom - no doubt! He would laugh at me and tell me that I'm crazy. Well... last night - he was getting a bit concerned watching those branches whip around in the storm. Well, it's nice to know that I'm not the only crazy one in our house! We had a great weekend. We took a parenting class at our local hospital with Kim & Dan. Kim and Dan are in the process of adopting a little girl from Guatemala. Kim made arrangements at the hospital that offers the class for it to be just the four of us as we didn't need the same type of information as someone who was bringing home a newborn. They were extremely accommodating and the woman who gave the class was just lovely! We learned about feeding, diapering, car seats, stroller, etc. I really enjoyed it. Last night I went out with Princess for her birthday. Just the two of us for some serious sister time. It was wonderful. She's such an amazing woman and I'm just so proud of who she is. She's strong and independent and beautiful. We went out to a fun, chi chi Mexican restaurant and had yummy food and even yummier margarita's. Topped that off with some gelato and we were very full, happy campers.

A Newer Version of Being "Pregnanted"

So, I'm in the gym this morning and one of the regulars comments that I've lost a lot lately. I explained that I had been on some drugs that caused me to puff up and I had gained about 12lbs during my treatment. She asked me what kind of drugs and I explained they were fertility drugs but due to other issues, was not able to continue (was not in the mood to explain). Now, I like this lady who I usually refer to Marc as "the stinky lady with the hot bod". Stinky because she bathes in perfume before working out. Sweat + Perfume = Julie gagging. Anyway.. she asked why I discontinued treatment. I explained that due to medical reasons we weren't able to have children. We could have continued treatment but it was highly unlikley we would get pregnant and, even if we did, there was a very good possibility that IF we were able to carry to term, there was a huge chance of some serious genetic issues. Ready for this one? You may want to sit down. No, wait, lay down Fuck that - get a drink, I'll wait..... She said, "you should go ahead with the treatment, have those tests they have now an if there is a problem... JUST abort". Huh? You know, just terminate - no big deal. Ok, spends tons of money, invest emotionally & physically and then abort AND IT'S NO BIG DEAL????? Mind you, the stupid little cunt says this to me while I'm holding 25lb weights in my hands. I then explain that we are adopting and she explains "oh, that's nice" and walks away. I hate stupid people. This is why I don't carry a gun. I'd shoot stupid people.

I Love You Guys!

Now go home - it's the weekend. Have fun! Wish me luck in my parenting class - hopefully won't drop the doll on it's widdle head.

Just say no

I pulled my response to that tiny little troll. Didn't like the fact that I was giving it the dignity of a response. I've also pulled the comment. Speaking of comments - I only allow the "fat card" to get thrown at me on the GDT - so I deleted that comment as well. (yeah, someone called me fat). Sorry children, I'm trying to learn not to allow negative behavior to effect me. I want Dylan brought up in a positive, healthy environment. I need to learn how to just let insignificant people's comments and actions to roll off my back. Onto happier things.... I fucking popped a wheelie in spin class this morning. I'm not shitting you. We were doing "jumps" and I had positioned my seat too far back so had to push myself back a little farther than usual. In doing so the front end of the bike came up off the ground. Ok, normally this wouldn't be a big deal but my feet are locked (and I mean locked) into the peddles so if I flip the bike - it could be ugly. Spin buddy Brian explained that this is why he chooses bikes by the back wall. I'll be sitting by Brian from now on! I'm praying that we get an update today althought I doubt it highly. Our contact at the agency is off on Friday's. My Mom mentioned that I sounded sad that I haven't gotten my update. I am. I want to know that he's happy and healthy and I want to see how much he's grown. One month is a long time when you are talking about infants. I know that once I get everything I will feel much better. If I don't post again, to my dear blogging friends, have a wonderful weekend!

So anway....

I ran all the way home, practically ripped my house apart looking for the folder (while the cleaning ladies were there no less), found the folder, no form. FUCK! I'm running around trying to find this form when the phone rings. It's the agency. They found the form in Guatemala. Whew! Oh, and I did find out that we have been translated. We are on our way. I'm going to get around to doing a timeline soon. I promise.

Fuck Me Gently With A Chainsaw*

We were supposed to get updates on medicals & photos on Dylan by Tuesday. It's now Thursday and not only do we not have photos and a medical report but my agency called to say that the attorney lost our 797H form! I have to run home, get the copy, hope that it's perfectly clean (meaning that you can read everything clearly) and overnight it to Guatemala (at the Agency's cost of course). On the happy end of things (I try not to bitch unless I can end it with a happy note), our Dossier is translated. *Great line from the movie Heathers

August 10th

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS!!! You will always be my special baby girl :)

Nothing New To Report So... A Little Entertainment

Our Lawyer, R, in Guatemala, is in the process of moving her office and doesn't have access to computers to update us on our progress or send us medical reports or photos. So, in lieu of an exciting update on Dylan... I give you for your entertainment.... Crazy Frog (scroll down to the middle of the page for the video)

Now Introducing... Live from Blogland....

It's the Princess. She has joined her sister (me) on the dark side of technology (blogging). She speaks of what she knows... being Jewish and Single. She's an insanely talented writer (even though she probably wouldn't admit that) and I can guarantee you laughs. If you know of any nice, Jewish boys... send them to her blog too. Now, go flood her with hits (since I just told her how to get a counter on her site).

DTG!!! DTG!!!

Woo Hoo! Our Dossier was sent to Guatemala! That means we are just another step closer to bringing home our son! Now it gets translated and they request the DNA test. Great way to start the weekend no? ~dancing and twirling about~

Furniture Shopping, Registries and spinning... Oh My!

Wednesday night, my Mom and I went out for girls night out. Just the two of us. It was great because I don't get her all to myself very often. We went to this place I had heard of from friends to check out furniture for Dylan and found some amazing stuff! Our home is very open, clean lines, etc. The furniture I liked fit the whole house. Then, Mom begged me to get started on our registry (me thinks the cousins are making her nuts) so we headed over to the store and started registering. Mom had waaaayyyyy too much fun with that gun! I hope that Marc and I can head over this weekend and continue with the picking of the stuff. It was really nice. For the first time in, I can't tell you how long, I walked into a baby related store and wasn't asked when I was due. In fact, I got a few confused looks. My tummy is finally starting to go down! I don't look pregnant any more. Then we went to dinner at this incredible restaurant. Bottle of wine, great food and great conversation. It was, well, great :) I had a crazy day at work yesterday but managed to go home and have some real quality time with Marc. I had been feeling a bit disconnected so it was great to reconnect again. This morning took my usual 6:30 a.m. spin class with Russell. This man is awesome. He comes up with the craziest combinations of music to spin to but it always works. Although I really could have lived without the 75 two second jumps at the end. Oh, and the topper of my morning... some guy slowed down as he was driving past me and gave me a little look over and a "hey baby" as I was walking into the office.

An Even Better Way To Start The Day

Soper from Uterine Wars has posted again and it's good news. Go over and read her latest post and give her some loving will ya? Yeah, worked out again today but took it a bit easy on myself. Instead of killing myself to get to the 6:15 a.m. spinning class, we just got in at our regular 6:30 a.m. time and I just worked out on the eliptical for 45 minutes. Now, that 15 minute difference is HUGE! That's 15 minutes of extra snuggle time. I love for snuggle time. I could just lay in bed for hours with Marc's arms around me. He has amazing guns. I have left a phone message and an email message for the agency. I am really hoping someone gets back to me today.

Good start to the day!

Went to the gym and lifted (lower body). I was walking by a mirror and I realized that my posture is coming back. I'm starting to stand straighter with my shoulders down (which is good because when I stand straight - my belly doesn't stick out so much). I'm very excited for the Princess (my baby sister). Her birthday is coming up and a bunch of friends she made when she was living in Israel are coming in (pretty much from all over the world) for her birthday. She is just so excited to see them all and I know how much she has been missing them. We are having a big brunch so I will finally get to meet all of these people that have corrupted my sweet, innocent little sister (coughbullshitcough). hehehehe

Some Fucked Up Shit in Blogland

Ok readers - I know you are out there and that each and every one of you are wonderful loving people. Please delurk and give some much needed love to Soper. She is living every adoptive parent's worse nightmare. She traveled 30 hours to be told that there is no child waiting for her and her husband. Please delurk yourselves and give her your support, prayers, good wishes, etc. Thanks!

I'm so freaking sore!

Marc and I spent the weekend working on our landscaping. From all of the trimming and pulling of weeds, etc. my body just hurts. Of course I also added some insult to my injuries by taking a spinning class this morning. I was so tired going into it that at one point I thought I was going to throw up all over the bike and had to slow down. Yep, I'm an idiot. We also got an alarm system this weekend. It's pretty cool and I definately feel safer in the house alone. On the adoption front - everything should be coming back authenticated from the Guatemalan Embassy this week and from there it's sent to Guatemala for translation. I'm also hoping we get new pictures and a new medical report this week.

Another Infertile Gets Knocked Up!

Go give Dead Bug some serious lovin! That girl is sporting a HcG of 136! It must be the heat. So many of my infertile blogging buddies are getting their miracles. I pray that all of you get your dreams fulfilled. I promise a snarky non-crunchy post later :)

Happy Birthday Baby

Dylan is 3 weeks old today. I can't wait to meet him.

Finished Paperwork, Names and Friends

Well, our last document has come and gone. The wonderful 171H (or 797H depending on who you ask) is off to the nice dossier lady in South Carolina. Unless there is a problem (G-d forbid) we are done with our paperwork for now. Now we just wait to bring Dylan home. Oops... did that just slip out? Yes, we've decided to go with Dylan and are still playing with middle name(s). On the "not about Dylan" front, I'm almost finished knitting Marc's scarf which means I will be starting on Dylan's blanket soon. On Saturday, I got to meet a bunch of amazing ladies that I had met online at Fertility Friend. They were part of a local group of posters that I have gotten to know over the past year. They are an amazing group of women and I feel so honored to be able to count them as friends. Liana is a very talented knitter and extremely patient teacher. We got together in a fabulous coffee shop to knit and chat. Since I knew how to knit already, she gave me some pointers and helped me decide on a lovely blanket for Dylan. Cecily couldn't join us but I was finally able to meet the lovely Tara and my adoption buddy Barb. There are many other amazing women in this group that I hope to meet soon. As much of a curse as infertility has been for us, it has also been a huge blessing. Without it I wouldn't have these amazing people in my life. Without it I wouldn't have Dylan.

Hurry Up!

and wait. That's the stage we are at now. A courier has, most likely, dropped off our Dossier at the Guatemalan Embassy in DC. In about a week to ten days it gets authenticated and the Dossier lady will send it down to Guatemala for translation and then we wait for the request for DNA. That is still a few weeks away. So I will just look forward to receiving a new photo of the baby along with his medical report. We had fun this weekend but I felt bad because Marc worked Saturday and Sunday. We saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory & Fantastic Four at the drive in on Saturday. I loved Charlie and hated Fantastic Four. While Marc worked on Sunday, I layed out at my Mom's pool. ***Sign my map please! I see really cool readers from really cool places that haven't signed my map so... please sign my map - it's that cool icon to the left of the post. Thanks!***

****BANGARANG!!!*******

Everything except the I797 is now on it's way to the Dossier Prep lady. Our photos, our passport copies, all of our authenticated documents, everything. She is going to put them together and take them to DC to have the Guatemala Consultate authenticate everything. Then everything goes down to Guatemala to begin the process there. Hang tight little one - Mommy and Daddy are working hard to bring you home.

We're getting closer!

We are now certified (or certifiable depending on who you ask). We are now sending everything down to the lovely Ms D to take to the Guatemalan Consulate in DC and then she prepares our Dossier and sends it to Guatemala to begin the process down there. A few more steps closer to our son we are! I'm very excited. I'm finally meeting some of my virtual friends in real life! My inspiration for starting this blog was my friend Cecily. I met Cecily online at Fertility Friend on a board they have for local infertiles. We are all hanging out at an uber cool coffee house to chat, drink coffee and knit. I am looking forward to meeting these incredible women face to face. Oh, and since we didn't get to go to the drive-in last week, we decided to go this weekend. Well, now I'm really glad that we didn't get to go last week because now they are showing Charlie & the Chocolate Factory and Fantastic Four. Woo Hoo!!!!

Ohhhh, pretty, gold, shiny, medallion

That's what I saw when I pulled the authentications out of the envelope. One State down and one to go! Also still waiting on INS to get their collective asses in gear. Hoping to see that tomorrow or Friday. I would love to send everything down on Friday. That would be perfect. Today is the baby's two week birthday. My beautiful baby is two weeks old today. I told a woman in the gym that and she practically fell over. She was extremely pregnant (I actually felt sorry for her in this heat) and told me that I looked incredible for someone who just had a baby two weeks earlier. Of course all of my gym buddies cracked up laughing and blew my cover. Speaking of the gym, I got my ass kicked this morning by a 5 foot tall Swedish chick. She filled in for the spin instructor and did some shit I've never done before. I'm gonna be hurting tomorrow!

That was cool

Got the ultrasound (external one - YaY). Tech said that everything looks normal. She also called me skinny. I'm in love with the young, thin, blonde, beautiful ultrasound tech who called me skinny. I think I told her that too. She is my new best friend! So, the doctor's office called because the ultrasound place didn't have my referral. They made me sign off that I'd be responsible for the bill (which he assured me would be covered) and did the ultrasound. The doctor's office now tells me they are not capitated to that office and he shouldn't have done the ultrasound. I told her that she can tell him that if insurance doesn't cover it - they damn well better write it off. She said they'd fight it for me. This is why I love this office. Paperwork is pretty much done except for one thing that goes off tomorrow to be authenticated. I worked on the photo array and it came out quite nice (if I do say so myself). Just waiting on everything to come back from the state and the INS shit and then it's off to Guatemala! Woo Hoo!

Feed Me! Give Me Something to Drink!!!

I'm whining because I have to fast before this ultrasound. I don't want to go. I've had enough ultrasounds for a lifetime. Yes, I know this isn't the cootercam but still. I'm also whiny because I didn't see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this weekend beause it was raining and I felt like shit. I'm also whiny because one of the reference letters has to be redone. Ok, enough whining... Marc and I really buckled down and stuck to our Weight Watcher program this week and I lost 4.8lbs and Marc lost 4.4lbs! Yay! Yesterday we went to a Phillies game and had tickets in the Diamond Dugout. What does that mean??? We sat three rows behind home plate, next to the Phillies Dugout (close enough to feel the air conditioning in the dugout) and everything is included. All our food, drinks, etc. I didn't go crazy because I wasn't feeling well but it was great fun and the Phillies won!

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! (no, not baby related)

I just got an email from Marc. We have a date tomorrow night. We are going here. I can't wait!!!! One of my coworkers who just had a baby was making fun of me until he realized that he could actually go to the movies with his wife and baby!

~~~~ROAR!!!~~~~~~

That's how I feel this morning! Alive and in shape and amazing. I broke in my new spinning shoes and, wholly shit do they make a huge difference. For anyone reading this who doesn't know what spinning is, it's a cardio workout on a specialized stationary bike. On average, I burn about 600 calories in 45 minutes (which, in weight watchers terms is an extra 6 points for that day!). However... my body is being mean to me again. I went to the doctor about this weird pain I've been getting between my shoulder blades and the (teensy bit of TMI) constant burping. When I told the lovely Dr. F about my symptoms she was pretty sure it was gall bladder. I have an appointment Monday for an Ultrasound. Let's all hope that it's acid reflux (similar symptoms) and I just have to take some pills and not get my belly sliced open. Okay, I'm being melodramatic, it's laproscopic but I'm totally freaked out by the thought of having to do general anesthesia. You'd think with all of the procedures I've been through the past year I wouldn't care but.. that's one thing that has always scared me. Anesthesia. In the meantime, as I await my diagnosis I'm determined to be as healthy as I can because I have one minor live event and one MAJOR life event. Minor... 20 Year High School Reunion. MAJOR... bringing home my son.

~pppsssttttt~

Tania's pregnant! Pass it on :) Oh, and check out her lovely blog and tell her how great it is that she got knocked up her first round of IVF. She's feeling a bit freaked out and could use your good cheer Tania.

Just breathe

That's what I've been telling myself all day. Missed spinning class by 3 minutes (they locked the door) and I was so excited to break in my new spinning shoes. Just breathe and get on the elliptical for 45 minutes at the highest setting. Get a call from the Agency. Stand in social worker (our s/w is away for a few days) says "you are going to wire the money to Guatemala today right?" "I wasn't planning on it why?" "Oh, it has to be done today without fail. You may be able to do it tomorrow morning but that's pushing it". Just breathe. Called Marc and he took care of calling the bank. Left office for appointment with breast doctor and get a few blocks, realize I forgot the films. Just breathe, walk back to the office and then power walk a mile to the doctor's office getting very sweaty in the process. Get back and there is no confirmation from the bank. Marc is stuck doing something and I have to call the bank. Sitting on hold for over thirty minutes... just breathe. Explained situation to amazing woman at the bank and we have our tracking number for the wire transfer. Breathing is an amazing thing. No only does it keep us alive (duh) but it massages the internal organs. Everyone likes a good massage right? I have also come to the realization that the pains are definitely stress related. I was fine until the last part of this happened. Bang - pain right between the shoulder blades. I closed my eyes, took deep cleansing breaths and the pain subsided. Wow, do I sound granola crunchy or what??? Sorry gang. I'm not a crunchy kinda girl but this shit has kept me sane during a fairly insane day. Peace out :)

I be Smart

It's a really cool MIT survey for bloggers - go check it out!

Somewhat boring post

Nothing new to report - still working on the paperwork. Pretty close to having it ready for one state. Waiting on a few more items for the other state. I will say that the stress is getting to me and I think that is why I have felt like utter shit the past few days. Every time I eat or drink something (other than water) I get a horrible pain between my shoulder blades. I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday to check my gall bladder. Hopefully, it's just the stress and will go away with time. Oh, and PLEASE SIGN MY MAP!!!! I have seen a huge increase in hits on my site and I'd love to know where you are all from!

Whew - this shit's bananas!

As my lovely husband likes to say. The notary seal from the home study and license should be fine - it's been approved in the past and we will send it up for authentication as is. Everything is coming along nicely. I got a call from our State Police to tell me that they are overnighting me the Good Conduct Letter. I got a call from Homeland Security saying that they are only working on June fingerprints now (we got ours done on 7/6 - the baby's birthday) but she would put us to the top of the pile since we have our referral (expected arrival - within 2 weeks). Our home study agency is getting us the missing paperwork that they are holding. We got the medical reports and blood work back (to my untrained eye- everyone looks ok) and I have sent it off to the doctor's office for a report to be issued. I have to say again how much I love my agency. If anyone is looking for an agency, please email me and I will be happy to discuss them with you. They have been wonderful. Even when I was bugging the home study agency (a division of the adoption agency) they were very patient with me. Marc and I are just so lucky.

So I'm sitting at my desk in my office

Just minding my own business when "ring, ring, ring". I answer the phone and it's the wonderful, amazing, incredible social worker L from my agency. "Julie?" She says. I said "Yes". "Hi! It's L from your agency and I was just wondering where we are on paperwork". So I explain to her that we are coming along nicely. There is a slight problem I just learned about from another adopter who is going through the same home study agency (notary is incorrect) and have to get that resolved but expect to by ready in a few weeks". "Really" she said. "Any chance you can speed things up?" I said "why?" Her response.... "because I have a referral for you. Everyone at the agency is waiting on a girl and I have a boy and he's beautiful". "HUH?????????? Are you serious??" She said "yep, if you are prepared, we can do this!". We just got our fingerprints done 2 days ago! I got the picture and called Marc. He was in his Mom's office. I asked him if he could get his email there and he said "no, why?" I said "because I'm looking at a picture of your son". He was so confused! I told him that we got the referral and he ran to his desk. I think he fell in love as quickly as I did. I didn't think I could love him any more than I already do but I just fell in love with him all over again. That was at 10:30 this morning. I have called INS to see if they can expedite our fingerprints, I've been calling the State Police to find out where our letter is, making an apponitment with the international adoption doctor. I'm in such a haze. Someone pinch me!

A little levity is needed here so....

A little story for you, my fair readers, of my brother-in-law. We shall call him, for the sake of the story, Mr. Jumpy. Mr. Jumpy HATES loud noises. Especially those directed at him or happen near him. Take the first time I made the hideous mistake of beeping my car horn at him. I was read the riot act on that. Today, my darling husband, who works with Mr. Jumpy, is getting ready to run his daily errands. He puts his keys in his pocket, gets his paperwork together and then realizes there was something that need to be done before he left so he sat down. Now, dear readers, inside of darling husband's pants pocket along with those little keys is a remote. It looks like a car remote but it's not. It's the remote to the new alarm system they just had installed in their office. Well, one of those keys must have hit the panic button just as Mr. Jumpy is walking by the alarm. Well, Mr. Jumpy hit the roof and knowing him... Squealed like a little girl. Marc said he thougth they were going to have to call a brown alert on that one (eeewwww).

So Sad

They found the little girl I posted about. They found her in a river and they said she had not drowned, that she was murdered and placed there. What the fuck is wrong with people today? How do you look at a child and want to hurt them? My prayers have gone out to this poor child and her family, her friends and her community. My prayers are also with my friends in England. I hope you catch the cowards who did this to you.

Missing Child

Missing Child Have you seen this child? I learned about her on Jamilia's blog. She has been missing for 6 days. Please keep her & her family in your prayers. She was last seen in her mother's apartment in Northern Iowa. To read more about the possible abduction, please click here.

What a weekend!

We were supposed to fly up to Boston on Friday. Our flight was supposed to leave at 5:30 but by 8:00 we knew we weren't going anywhere (bad weather). We rebooked our flight, reclaimed our luggage and headed home to take care of some, well, stuff (wink wink). We woke up early, Marc mowed the lawn and, a few showers later, we were at the airport again. This time we did, in fact, take off and make it to Boston at 2:30 pm. Andy and Lori picked us up and we headed back to the house. The house is beautiful with lots of comfy bedrooms and a big kitchen and 2 car garage and a beautiful deck and two incredible inhabitants who know how to make people feel loved and welcomed. We wandered around Boston and just ordered pizza and hung out all night. Oh, and don't play duck duck goose around a campfire when you are drunk. Just leads to bruises. Sunday there was a huge bbq at the house and my good friend Joelle & her boyfriend joined the festivities. Lots of incredible food, friends and booze made for a fun night. There was volleyball, croquet (did I spell that right), stupid word games. It was amazing. Monday we just vegged till it was time to come home. We are heading out tomorrow to get fingerprinted. Hopefully it wont' be too horrible a wait. Then, we get our stuff out to the State(s) for authentication and then... our dossier will be complete! YAYYYYYYYY

~GONE FISHING~

Ok, we're not going fishing. We're going to Boston to see our good friends, Andy and Lori (see below). We met Andy & Lori at a swing dance class I made Marc take with me. They were the only "normal" people besides us (stop snickering). We had a great time and have been friends ever since. We still love them even though they abandoned us and moved to Boston :) So we are leaving tonight to go up and visit them. To all of my blog buddies and friends in cyberspace... have a groovy weekend. Have fun, be safe and if you are going to Live 8.... have a blast! Oh yeah, before you go, if you haven't already done so... SIGN MY MAP!!! Me and Andy Me and Lori

What the hell was I thinking????

Get up extra early this morning because I wanted to take the 6:15 a.m. (yep - that's morning folks) spin class that I hear is incredible. Drag poor Marc out of bed, run to the gym, get to class to try out the new bikes and then got my ass thoroughly kicked by Judy the awesome Spin instructor. Not only did she have incredible kick ass music but she had an incredible energy about her. Yelling "go go go" and "you're doing great!" At one point she was yelling "Pick it up, Pick It Up, you've got it!" I opened my eyes (I usually have my eyes closed when I spin) and she was looking right at me. I was in the front to her side - no one was near me so I know it she was talking to me which just made me triple my efforts. Oh, and if that's not enough abuse for one morning... Marc has the car today because Mom is picking me up after work to go for facials. I walk outside, feel a slight breeze so I say to myself Fuck the taxi - I'll walk 2 miles to work. By the time I got to the office, I was drenched in sweat.

WE HAVE....... (baby post)

BABIES!!! My dear, sweet, wonderful friends Bob & Alyssa had their twins over the weekend. Babies, Mom & Dad are home and are doing well.

So Much Happiness

Please keep my friends Bob & Alyssa and their beautiful little twins in your prayers this weekend. Alyssa is being induced tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you four all weekend! Everyone - I wish you a wonderful weekend.

Today's Happy Post Goes to....

Cubbie!!!! She's getting a daughter! A beautiful little girl to call her very own. The lovely Cubbie has been in the process of trying to adopt an older child and out of the many, many people who wanted to be her Mommy, they picked the lovely Cubbie (need to give those social workers a huge pat on the back for that one). Cubbie, I'm just so happy for you and your new family! Mozel Tov!

We may have a possible pregnancy sighting in Blogland

Over at PJ's it looks like we may have a few lines on the pee stick. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that it's not her HcG shot but the real deal. Go PJ Go!!!!!!

There he was just a walking down the street

Just about every Wednesday night, Marc and I go to the comic book store to pick up the week's new comics. Usually, Marc will go in and I will wait in the car because, well, boys and girls that read comic books sometimes have an aversion to showers and it stinks in there. Anyway, Marc is in the shop and I had driven around the block looking for parking when, to my amazement, I see "The Legendary Wid" crossing the street. ~looking around the blog at all of the blank stares~ You've never heard of The Legendary Wid???? You need to google this lovely, hysterical comedian and, if he's performing in your area, you need to go see him. He's uses a lot of props in his act and he's, well, he's fucking hysterical! Anyway, the Wid and I go waaaaayyyyyyyyy back. I honked my horn and waved but I really didn't think he'd remember me. He came over and that brilliant mind is still as sharp as ever! He said "we used to work together". Yep, the old Comedy Works. I ran a karaoke show in the restaurant in the club called "The Fun House". He would always hang out with us before and after his show and sing (he has a great voice). After I left that gig I saw he was performing in my neighborhood and went to see him. As he rushed out onto the stage he stopped, looked at me, laughed, got on stage and said "I'm confused - we doing karaoke tonight?" No one got it but me but that's ok. I love being in on the joke. We asked about some friends we used to have in common and then he called his manager, Kevin, and put him on the phone w/me. It was nice to catch up. Meanwhile, I keep waiting for Marc to come out of the store and see this crazy man pacing next to the car talking to me (Wid always paces). But the Wid had to dash and Marc didn't get to meet him. Oh well. He still performs in the area so we will have to catch a show one of these days. Oh, speaking of shows. Marc and I have a date on Saturday afternoon. We are seeing Sweeney Todd! I love that show (yes, I am twisted - duh!). On Sunday, Mom, Princess and I are heading to NY with a bunch of other Jewish women (it's a synagogue trip) to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on Broadway. A theater weekend. I'm looking forward to it.

My Poor Sweet Husband

I'm still at work. My poor sweet husband called me with such distress in his voice. "I have so much to do I just don't know when I'll be done". He sounded so desperate. I could hear "I want to go home now" in his voice. I can't let him take the train. He sounds so beat and it's Wednesday and I'm sure he'll want to go get his comics so here I wait for my love. So, since I have some time on my hands... how about we continue the interview game. First... the rules... 1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me." 2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. 3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions. 4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post. 5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And now... Drum roll please....my questions for my little blogger friends.... To my little friend Zeeks 1. What is your favorite childhood memory. 2. How did you meet your hubby? 3. Who is your hero? 4. If I gave you a hundred million dollars, what would you do with it? 5. Why are you a vegetarian? To my new friend Deanna 1. How did you get into Herding? 2. Are you religious and, either way, why? 3. What is your biggest fear? 4. What do you do for a living? 5. If you could be a comic book hero, who would it be? To my little fried in the UK MsPru 1. Why did you move to the UK? 2. What do you miss the most about the US? 3. If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would you wish for? 4. What do you regret? 5. What are you most proud of? To my new friend Iselyahna 1. What are you studying? 2. How did you come up with your blog name? 3. What's the most dangerous thing you have ever done? 4. What is your dream vacation? 5. What moves you more.. movies, TV or music and why? To my new friend Jamila 1. Who is your favorite author and book? 2. What gives you warm fuzzies? 3. Do you believe in G-d? 4. Are you close to your family? 5. Do you believe your husband is your soulmate? If so, why? To my dear sweet Cubbie, thanks! That was a blast!

YYYIIIIPPPPPPEEEEE!!!

Lumi is ok! ~doing an insane dance in the middle of my office~

I know you are around here somewhere

I know you are around, I can feel you.. poking at my uterus and snickering behind my back. Don't you think I can recognize you a mile away? I've known you since I was 11 years old. I know what that icky, weepy, crampy, pull the covers over my head for a week feeling means. My period will be arriving soon. Probably today because I forgot that it was due and wore my lovely new white capris. It's funny. You'd think that since I'm adopting I wouldn't mind getting it. That since we are not "officially" trying, that it wouldn't bother me. If you think that, you're nuts. It's not that I thought I was pregnant. Not at all. It's more that I feel like it's mocking me. My body appears to do what it's supposed to do every 28 days yet there is no purpose to it. My pain will never produce a child. It will just be there, mocking me, every 28 days. So... to my period I say.... Fuck You! --------------------------------------- If you are wondering what happened to my meltdown(s), I've decided that I need to put them away for a little while. Pull them back from the world. I kept obsessing over them, re-reading them at every opportunity and I need to move on from it so I pulled them back. Thank you again for all of your kind words. ---------------------------------------- Oh yeah..... SIGN MY MAP

Lend me your prayers/ good thought/vibes/etc.

My friend Lumi over at Illumination Maybe is having a scare right now. She is about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant and is experiencing bleeding. Please send her your good thought, prayers, vibes, voodoo dances, whatever you feel comfortable offering her. She needs us right now. Lumi - we are all here for you. We love you! Take care of yourself and your little one.

Move Along, Nothing To See Here, Just Another Crazy Infertile

Whew. That was a hell of a meltdown. I'm ok though. I think I just had that little bit more to throw out there. I slept a little better last night (still had crazy dreams - just not as horrible) and will hopefully get a good nights sleep tonight. I took a spin class this morning and I use that time to do visualization. I'll see myself riding this bike by a mountain stream or by the ocean or somewhere else. Sometimes I will picture myself riding over the person causing me problems. Today I just saw myself letting this go. I cried (crying while spinning isn't a good idea but hey - what the hell) and peddled like a maniac. Time to refocus on happy things. I need to find my positive energy again. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words.

Fertility Dance (warning - pregnancy related post)

Just doing a little happy dance for my good from Lumi at Illumination Maybe. After playing "if I stare at the stick long enough" and "the rising HcG levels don't mean anything do they", we have a heartbeat! A beautiful, strong heartbeat! Please keep this wonderful woman and child in your prayers/good thoughts/happy vibes/voodoo dances, etc.

Another Notch! Bam!

The home study is being overnighted by my darling wonderful husband to INS. We will anxiously await our fingerprinting request. YaY!

Tag! I'm It!

My buddy over at

Cubbiegirl

has issued a challenge. A game of tag if you will. Here are the rules.... 1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me." 2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. 3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions. 4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post. 5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. and now... Drum roll please....my questions and answers... 1. What religious background were you raised in, and do you practice that today? I was raised Jewish and still consider myself a practicing Jew. We don't belong to a synagogue so we are really just a couple of wandering Jews at the present time. 2. What has more impact on you: movies, books, or music and why? Do I really have to pick just one? I have seen movies that have changed the way I feel about the world, read books that have given me great passion and sadness, have heard songs that have caused me to pull over because they make me cry so hard. It's really so hard to say. If I had to pick one I'd say music. Why? Because once a song touches me a certain way, it seems like it always touches me in the same way. 3. In the past five years, what about you has changed for the better, and what has changed for the worst? I quit smoking, gained about 50lbs and have taken 40lbs of it off. I found out that I can't have children but discovered that adoption is a wonderful choice. 4. If a Genie gave you three wishes, what would you chose? 1. To spend eternity with my husband. 2. To be a stay at home mom to a house full of kids. 3. Not to ever have to worry about money again. 5. What is the most important thing about being married that no one ever told you? The correct way to communicate (which we have learned to do). We are, by no means perfect at it... but we definitely work at it. Ok - who wants to be interviewed??? Oh, and don't forget to sign the map :)

If you have 10 minutes, high speed internet and

A huge ass box of tissues - check out this video. http://homepage.mac.com/kevintwit/iMovieTheater33.html My good friend Tara passed this on to me and it's about a family adopting a little girl from China. Very well done and just, well, beautiful! Oh, and don't forget to sign my map :)

Sign My Map!

Let me know where you are from. It's the link to the left of this post under "View My Profile". It's the white icon with "View My Guestmap" "Click Here" and ""Place your Pin" flashing with the globe. I'd love to know where everyone is from.

Coming Out of the Closet Part Duex

When my Mom was told that we were adopting, we weren't that surprised at her response.. "I'm designing the baby's room!" My Mom has amazing taste. Well, in the Baby's room there is a closet whose doors were removed by the painters we had hired to paint the house when we moved in and they never bothered to put them back on. That gave my Mom a great idea. Since the room was relatively small to begin with, forget the doors, do a closet organizer and put custom curtains over the closet. It took Marc 8 hours to put the closet organizer together and it took the drape guy about a half an hour do to the this..... closet We also had custom blinds and cornice done to match window Oh, and the day they put up the blinds and stuff, Mom showed up with that bear. How fucking cute is that??? Oh, if you want a Shelly Original, I will hire her out. Kidding. Ok I'm not. I think my Mom would be great at this.

Why is it that some people just have no common sense

when it comes to speaking to a woman about very personal issues? We have my friend over at The Naked Ovary who has been getting pregnanted left and right. Pregnanted is the act of telling someone you are adopting and the response you receive is something along the lines of "Oh, now you will get pregnant". The other definition is, well, more hideous. It's when someone mistakes you for being pregnant when you are not. I have had this happen many many times. I carry all of my weight in my stomach (thanks Dad!). Another friend of mine from weight watchers was just telling a story about how a woman at work asked her what she is going to do now that she is pregnant - isn't she going to gain back all of the weight she just lost?? I'm sure my ww buddy wanted to say something like "no you stupid cunt, I plan on starving myself during pregnancy so that I able to maintain my weight". Oh, did I mention that she's "one of us"? ~peeking around cyberspace looking for Mrs M~ Congrats Sweetie! So tell me, why do complete strangers feel the need to ask people insanely personal questions? While in an airport in Jamaica returning from vacation a black woman asked me when I was due (you'll understand the need for color reference as the story progresses). I just looked at her and said "do I now you?". She said "No". I asked "Are you sure?" She said "Yes, I'm sure". I asked "did we go to school together?" She, being very much younger than myself replied "doubt it". I asked (here's where the color reference comes in) "are we related? cousins maybe?" She laughed hysterically and said "definitely not". I looked her dead in the eye and said "then what would possess you to ask such an intimate question of a complete stranger? I'm not pregnant, I'm fat - thanks for asking". I hope that that experience has caused her never to ask that question of another woman again. Now this experience was long before my fertility shit. If I had been on clomid, I'd be rotting in a Jamaican jail. I usually use the pregnanted statement of "Oh, you'll get pregnant after you adopt" as an opportunity to educate the obviously ignorant person on the new technologies that exist to diagnose infertility. Of course, there was the one time I was in a mood and a woman who tried to pregnanted me said "Oh, you'll get pregnant after you adopt" my response to her was "G-d I hope not!'. Shut her up. The most fun I have is when stupid people ask me when Marc and I are going to start a family. I love it when it's at some kind of social event and I have a drink in my hand. ~insert Jewish accent here~ "So, when are you two going to start a family?" Me - we are expecting around the end of the year. Causing said questioners eyes to dart back and forth between my face, my stomach and my drink which I usually pound for dramatic effect and excuse myself to get another. So, tell me, what are some of the idiotic remarks you have gotten lately?

Gently closing the door behind me

The home study is complete. Social Worker J is mailing out the notarized Home Study today. That phase of our adoption is complete. We then (I think) send it to INS and then the fingerprinting stuff begins. I'm so excited. Things seem to be moving along in a timely fashion. As I mentioned before, Marc spent 8 hours on Memorial Day putting together a beautiful closet organizer that my mom designed at Organized Living. Now we are ready for Lonnie, the custom drapes guy, to put up the drapes on the closet and also the blinds on the window. Mom was very excited because she was watching a design show and saw her idea on the show. I can't wait to see the final product. Then, we just have to pick out the baby's furniture. Traditionally, Jews do not buy baby furniture, clothes, etc. until after the baby has been born. It's more superstition than anything else but I just don't want to do anything else until we get the referral. After that, the baby has been born so we can buy stuff! Had a rough day today. Club owner was a complete dickwad and yelled at me because I couldn't find a file. Told me that I was unprofessional and that I must get paid $6 an hour to sit on the phone. I told him that I could buy and sell his redneck ass and that I don't have the time to entertain his temper tantrums, he can call my boss. hehehehe - my boss will kick his ass :) It's nice working for a company that when someone says "I want your superior" you know that the person you are sending him/her to will back you up 100% (if you are right - which I always am). It's also nice to be able to call someone a cocksucking dickwad redneck to your boss and have your boss laugh. I love my job!

Paranoid Much????

So I was just checking out my sitemeter to see who's been cruising my blog and I see a URL that says uscourts.gov. Ok, if you are reading this and you work for the US courts, please don't be offended but that totally freaked me out. I got to thinking - what if someone who is reading this has some kind of say in my adoption process and then they look back and see me fling the "c" word around with abandon. AACCCKKK Admit it adoption people, would that freak you out or am I just being a paranoid freak?