A tale of that wacky world of infertility that has now spiraled into the fascinating world of Guatemalan adoption and now... Parenting a child who's smile lights up the world, has a laugh that would drive the meanest person to hysterics and who also happens to have a genetic deletion at 16p11.2.
I am so sorry you had to hear this! I can sympathize with what you are going through, in a fight I had with my daughter she told me she wishes I had never adopted her. I know she said this out of anger, but is still hurts so much and I can't help but think it's true. I don't know what she is going through, so I have been using ways from http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-iap better understand how she is feeling. Do you have any other advice?
Mel, I don't know how old your daughter is and the context she is saying it (is she mad at not gettnig her way vs. just mad at the world type of situation). Either way, I'd sit her down when she's not angry, let her know you love her, that it's okay to be angry that she's adopted, acknowledge her loss and tell her that you are ready to listen and then SHUT UP. Listen, really listen to what she tells you. Don't think about retorts or answers - just listen. If she is a child, I recommend the blog www.lastmom.blogspot.com. She comes from a place of parenting through healing. I love the way she writes and the way she parents.
So, so sorry. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThat's just wrong.
ReplyDeleteThere are times we just look to our own children for comfort for the mistakes made by others.
AWWWWww. Sorry to hear.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog though, just found it, I also have mast cell disease and started a blog
I am so sorry you had to hear this! I can sympathize with what you are going through, in a fight I had with my daughter she told me she wishes I had never adopted her. I know she said this out of anger, but is still hurts so much and I can't help but think it's true. I don't know what she is going through, so I have been using ways from http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-iap better understand how she is feeling. Do you have any other advice?
ReplyDeleteMel, I don't know how old your daughter is and the context she is saying it (is she mad at not gettnig her way vs. just mad at the world type of situation). Either way, I'd sit her down when she's not angry, let her know you love her, that it's okay to be angry that she's adopted, acknowledge her loss and tell her that you are ready to listen and then SHUT UP. Listen, really listen to what she tells you. Don't think about retorts or answers - just listen. If she is a child, I recommend the blog www.lastmom.blogspot.com. She comes from a place of parenting through healing. I love the way she writes and the way she parents.
ReplyDelete