And the diagnosis is....

No clue.  Basically, the doctor said that when a child exhibits the disorders that Dylan has, it will usually fall under a category of some sort (usually Autism).  However, not my boy.  He doesn't fit into any of their little cubbie holes.  He is most definitely not autistic.  He's way too social and makes eye contact and just doesn't have any of the markers they look for to put a child on the spectrum.  They did offer us a test where he "plays" with a psychologist for an hour or so and they determine through that if he's autistic.  I really don't see how that is going to make a difference.   He's Dylan.  Plain and simple.  He's my sweet, wonderful boy who has some challenges.   So the game plan is to do what we are doing and touch base as needed.

Before that appointment, we met with the school to go over the behaviorist's report.  Throughout the entire report, she says how much better Dylan attends to his schoolwork when he's working one-on-one with an adult. However, the final conclusion is... he needs positive feedback every 3 minutes.  I also had my panties in a twist about the fact that she starts her report with "Dylan is a 5 year old boy who lives with his adoptive parents".  Since I was not in a good frame of mind where this person was concerned, I decided to just shut up and let her talk and then address the issues at the end (in the event that she addresses them in her explanation).

While she did help to make sense of things, she didn't answer the big questions.  I wasn't the only one put off by her lack of suggestion for a one-on-one for him or the 3 minute thing.  I finally said to her "are you really going to put that in his IEP?"  She said that was her intention.  I pointed out that the IEP is a legal document which means the school and the teachers, aids, etc are all responsible for making sure that his IEP is fulfilled.  Who's going to track this?  Who's going to make sure that he's getting his "atta boys" every 3 minutes?  What happens if it happens every 4 or 6 minutes?  What about if he's having a bad day?  Are you going to expect the teacher to say "great left hook Dylan" when he's beating the shit out of a classmate?  Seriously???

The caseworker said "what everyone is saying without saying is.... he needs a one-on-one".  I told her yes and she started to tap dance.  I need to redo the rubric which previously indicated he did NOT need a one-on-one (it's a form that you circle answers, add it up and viola! you have a magical answer), then I have to talk to my supervisor and then, if he qualifies, we have to hire and train... I stopped her.

I told her that I don't expect new services like that for him this school year.  I understand that it's not as simple as pulling someone out of a pool of aids and saying - here's your kid.   What I do expect is that they will do whatever they need to do to ensure Dylan has a one-on-one for first grade.  That when I return to discuss his IEP, my expectations are that he will continue with the current path of services (speech 3x a week/OT 3x a week) and that he will have a one-on-one.  I will not accept anything less so do whatever you have to do to make it happen.

This is a new caseworker.  She doesn't know me.  I told her to talk to our former caseworker from Dylan's preschool (she knows her).  She'll explain who we are.  We aren't the parents who sit by and expect the school district to do everything for our child.  We do our part.  We just want them to do theirs.  He needs an aid who can manage his sensory needs, keep him engaged and on the right path so that he can learn.  This child is smart.  I'm afraid that if we don't do things the right way, he'll lose his love of learning.  That's not acceptable to me.  Not at all.

***EDITED TO ADD (thanks Liana!)

I did speak with her about the adoption thing.  I asked her first what the relevance was in case I was missing something.  She just kinda looked at me and said, what do you mean?  I told her that he lives with his mother and father - how he came to be my son is not at all relevant to the case at hand.  I told her that adoption is an event, not an ongoing thing.  I asked her if she puts in other kids' reports that Jane Doe lives with her biological parents.  She said of course not (everyone rolled their eyes at this point) and I told her to take it out.  My son doesn't need yet another label.  I have no problem with his adoption being discussed in his medical records, it's relevant.  Unless she feels that his behavior issues were the cause of his behavior, she needs to take that out.  She apologized and agreed.