And Now for Something Completely Important!

My buddies over at the Weight Watchers GDT have ramped up this year's fundraising for the Boston Race for the Cure. Last year they raised a boatload of money (over $35,000 if memory serves) and are working hard to surpass that this year. Breast cancer kills too many people. Too many woman and men and children are affected by this horrible disease. Let's knock it out! GO TEAM GDT!!!!!

Kitty

Creative!

Kitty Woot

INFERTILE BLOGGERS UNITE!

Go give my friend's mystery blogger some serious infertile loving. She's in the middle of her first cycle as an egg donor and really could use some support.

Interested in Wearing Your Baby??

If you are a Mom or Dad and are interested in "wearing" your baby in a sling, wrap, mei tai, etc. I found a great resource for us all... http://mamatoto.org/ This website has tons of videos showing the proper way to wrap, sling, etc.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Has anyone seen Cubbiegirl??? Last I read, she was getting married in December and then ~poof~ went her blog. I emailed her but no response and I'm getting a bit concerned.

Fun At The Camden Waterfront

Out of all of the bloggers in the area, THEY choose us! There was a call for local bloggers to review the Camden Waterfront. Unfortunately, due to other plans, we couldn't see all of the attractions. We had been to the Battleship New Jersey in the recent past. We were both very impressed with the ease of access. While there are many many steps, I did notice that many accommodations have been made for wheelchair and stroller access. Great pains were taken to make this a safe and enjoyable tour and I loved the fact that when we went, there were some little girls that had an Alex's Lemonade Stand right by the entrance gate. We've also been to see the Riversharks play and it was a blast! Very family friendly and lots to see and do (in addition to the baseball game). They have a kids play area with one of those moon bounce thingies and I noticed they now have a carousel and I'm a sucker for a good carousel ride! Now, on to what we did do on Sunday. We happened to get up early so we headed off to the Adventure Aquarium. What an amazing morning it was! Parking was a breeze and quite inexpensive (compared to other venues) at $7.00. Because it was so early, we scored an awesome spot and headed in. Now, if you are like Marc and I, you are up early because the kid(s) are up early. I strongly recommend going on the early side to beat the crowds. Unfortunately, Marc and I are not the best of photographers so we couldn't figure out how to get photos without getting the flash in the glass. We did manage to score a few decent shots.... Here's Dylan and I checking out a huge octopus. Yes, Dylan and I were both duly impressed and grossed out :)

They have this incredible exhibit where you can touch these little sharks and stingrays. While I wasn't comfortable letting Dylan touch them (I was worried he'd try to grab at them) he was quite happy just being this close to them... While Dylan is only 10 1/2 months old, he really enjoyed the outing. He loved being able to get right up on the glass and get close and personal with the fish. They also had this uber cool tunnel where you walk through and are just surrounded by fish. It was quite impressive to have these big sharks sailing over your head. They have a whole area outside where you can see penguins doing their thing.. And a show with these beautiful big seals.. Who looked like they could use a good belly rub (can't we all use a good belly rub?) Toward the end of our trip, we came across this little lovely. Can someone please tell me what in the world this is??? I know it's some sort of alligator or crock but it had both Marc and I totally weirded out... Unfortunately we didn't have time to see the Children's Garden which has more exhibits but we definitely plan to return when we can spend the entire day. As we left, we enjoyed a few moments by the water. The breeze and this beautiful view of the City of Brotherly Love...

Sorry for the screwy alignment at the end - I've played with it but blogger is just doing it's own thing (for a change).

So.....

Working on a redesign of the blog - stay tuned. Ignore the girl behind the curtain ;0)

You Are Not Forgotten

You are not forgotten All of my infertile friends Ones waiting on tests to start a cycle Ones waiting on surgery to start a cycle Ones waiting on menstration to start a cycyle Ones waiting that are in limbo Ones in the two week wait Ones deciding whether or not to continue Ones deciding how or if they want to build their family Ones doing IUI Ones doing IVF Ones doing donor egg Ones doing donor sperm Ones doing FET Ones doing the paperchase Ones waiting on referral Ones waiting for the call to bring their baby home Ones waiting for a natural mother to choose them to parent their child Ones waiting and wondering when it will be their turn I love you all. I know how hard this weekend can be for many. Please know that you are not forgotten.

She's at it again!

My friend Heather that is. I just got an email from her that she's doing the Lance Armstrong ride again this year. If you have a little to spare, please make a donation to this worthy cause! Here's Heather's email & story (printed with her permission).... Well, I’ve made my decision. I’m proud to announce that I will be participating in the LIVESTRONG Challenge Philadelphia this September. I’m going to ride my bike 100 miles and raise at least $2000 for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. The Lance Armstrong Foundation was founded in 1997 by cancer survivor and champion cyclist, Lance Armstrong. Their mission is to inspire and empower people affected by cancer through advocacy, public health and research programs. As you may know, my brother passed away 33 years ago from Neuroblastoma, the same cancer as Alex Scott from Alex’s Lemonade Stand. I am also doing this ride for my mom who is a breast cancer survivor. I am doing the ride for both of them, and for all of the other families who have lost someone and fought the disease. I know that with the support of my friends and family, I will far exceed my fundraising goal. I’m asking for your help in achieving this. Please consider making a donation to benefit this amazing organization. You can donate online at www.livestrongchallenge.org. Thanks for taking the time to read this and thanks, in advance, for your support. Your friend, Heather P.S. Please pass this email on to all your friends and family all their support is appreciated. Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Lance Armstrong Foundation

Applying Flame retardant Suit

Today Dylan took his first step toward officially becoming a Jew. He was circumcised. At 6:30 this morning we went over to the surgery center. There we were met by the wonderful Cantor K, our Moyal. We went over things with the anesthesiologist and the urologist and then they took Dylan to the OR. There, in the presence of the Moyal, he was put under a general and the circumcism was performed. As the surgeon worked, so did the Moyal. After, the surgeon came out and told us he was done and that everything had gone smoothly. Cantor K came out with him and brought us into a separate room where he recited prayers, we had some manachevitz (at 8:15 a.m. - hey - it's happy hour somewhere right!) and then we went back to see Dylan. He cried coming out of the anesthesia but as soon as we gave him a bottle of juice, he was fine. We came home and he slept for a number of hours. To see him right now, slamming his bottle on the floor, crawling, getting into general mischief, you'd never know what happened today. Before you flame me, please know that Marc and I put a great deal of thought into this decision. One of my blog friends who is very much anti-circ wrote me a heartfelt and well thought out email as to why I shouldn't have this procedure done to my son. As she took so much time in writing it -I took a great deal of time in making this decision. First and foremost - this is one of the most sacred rites in the Jewish religion. While we do know that there are Jews who are anti-circ, we are just not one of them. The second and most compelling argument to do it was first hand accounts by parents we had met who had made the decision not to circumcise their son only to have it done when they were older because of infection. Please don't tell me it's rare, I have spoken to so many people IRL this has happened to for it to be a fluke. My sister-in-law is a pediatrician and has told me war stories. The last straw was Dylan's teacher. Her son had a circ at 12 years old due to a terrible infection that had the poor kid out of school for an entire month. On a wholly shit note... not only did Dylan have surgery today but he climbed up two steps in the house today! Can you say - time for another gate or two :)

Hot Damn!

First, let me apologize for being a shitty blogger lately. My head has been squarely up my ass lately and, thanks to what I feel is a nice case of "post-adoption depression" I can barely form a coherent sentence these day. I've been working on a post about this and promise - as soon as I can make it halfway understandable, I will publish it. However... I did have some lovely news to share... We got Dylan's state issues birth certificate! It came in the mail today. I was so excited. One more step to finalizing all of the paperwork. I am just waiting for my agency to tell me if we have to readopt or just file for our COC (Certificte of Citizenship) to complete Dylan's adoption. Today Dylan is 10 month old Today marks 5 months since they placed Dylan in our arms. He's crawling like a pro, eating grown up foods, pulls himself up on everything (incuding the cats) and is getting ready to start taking his first steps. How time flies.

A sad update on Chester Case and a Statement from the Adoptive Parents

Chester County foster family denied custody A white couple's civil rights were not violated when county officials refused to let them adopt a black child, a judge ruled. By Kathleen Brady Shea and Benjamin Y. Lowe Inquirer Staff Writers In a hushed Philadelphia courtroom, a federal judge last night denied a Chester County family's final effort to regain custody of their beloved 3-year-old foster child. U.S. District Judge James T. Giles ruled that Randall and Susan Borelly, a white couple from Uwchlan Township, had failed to prove that Chester County officials violated their civil rights when they refused the family's request to adopt Kevin, their black foster child of nearly two years. The decision ended an emotional battle for the Borellys, who filed a lawsuit on April 11, arguing that the county Department of Children, Youth and Families' reason for denying them consideration - an unwritten policy limiting families to one adoption per year - was a pretext for racial discrimination. "We love Kevin," Randall Borelly said, "but we don't want to fight for him and move him two years from now. This has to be it." The family had been seeking a temporary restraining order to have Kevin returned. "If we've made it easier for someone else to adopt, then we did the right thing," Susan Borelly said. "There is going to be a lot more focus on that agency." Gertrude King, Kevin's biological great-grandmother, cried as Giles announced his decision. "I don't think it's fair," she said. "They should have never removed him from the Borellys' home." The judge - who distilled more than 15 hours of testimony - said he was bound to conclude that the county's asserted rule or practice was not "applied discriminatorily" to the Borellys. The Multiethnic Placement Act, a federal statute that governs adoption procedures, makes it illegal for agencies that receive federal funds to deny or delay adoptions based on race. But the law does allow for exceptions in individual cases. Race can be a factor in placement if an agency can prove that it is in the best interest of a child. "It's a shame the court's jurisdiction is so limited that it could not make the determination as to the best interests of the child," said Michael Churchill, an attorney for Jean Speiser, Kevin's court-appointed guardian. "Any agency that moves a child... in order to uphold a policy is not acting in the best interest of that child." Giles was reluctant to reopen a December decision by Chester County Court Judge Jacqueline C. Cody that enabled the Department of Children, Youth and Families to place Kevin with a new family. "This court is bound to conclude the state has adjudicated the question of whether the asserted practice or rule existed and whether it was applied in the best interest of Kevin," Giles said. Guy A. Donatelli, the agency's solicitor, said the county would not ask the Borellys to pay its legal fees, which can be a typical practice for those who sue and fail. "The county has always been confident that its actions would withstand this kind of judicial scrutiny," he said. "It's still a little bit too early to predict what the department will do according to policy issues. But every time you go through one of these things, you learn you may find ways to do it better." During the two-day hearing, the Borellys testified that they sought to adopt Kevin, an affectionate youngster with a penchant for high-performance machines, at the urging of a county caseworker, Speiser, and King. County officials deemed them ineligible because they had already expressed their intent to adopt their 11-year-old niece, who had been living with them for several years. Although the Borellys asked whether they could postpone their niece's proceeding to avoid losing Kevin, county officials suggested that the niece's adoption could be jeopardized. Officials said a policy limiting families to one adoption per year - put into writing months after the Borellys' request - served the adoptive children's best interests. "The evidence is very, very clear: There was no policy," Samuel C. Stretton, who represented the Borellys, said in his closing argument. Stretton said no valid explanation existed for the county's actions except racial bias. Churchill added that the county had a duty to "consider the best interests of this child"; instead, it argued an iron-clad policy "contrary to basic social work principles." Donatelli said he agreed that the Borellys are "good people," but he defended the agency's actions. "It did what it did because it thought it was doing what was best for this child," he said. Kevin's adoptive mother also attended the hearing on Friday and Saturday; her husband was present for last night's decision but left the courthouse without comment. The couple, who live in Pennsylvania, gained custody of Kevin on April 5 after county officials abruptly removed him from the Borelly home. County officials said they made a last-minute decision to relocate Kevin two days ahead of schedule because they feared a media onslaught, an assumption the Borellys denied. The Borellys are not the first couple to accuse the county of illegally basing adoption decisions on race. In 1995, B. William and Debra Fell sued unsuccessfully to retain custody of a 4-year-old girl who had lived with them since she was 3 months old. The Fells, a white couple from Downingtown, said the county used "racial matching" when it sent the child, who was black, to live with a Maryland social worker, who was also black. In a 1991 case, a white couple from Royersford, Victor and Mary DeWees, alleged discrimination after being told they could not adopt a 2-year-old mixed-race child from Chester County. Although U.S. District Judge Jay C. Waldman denied the couple permission to adopt the child on the basis of discrimination, he criticized expert testimony that only whites with specialized training can best address the needs of a minority child. The county subsequently reconsidered the DeWeeses' application and granted the adoption. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Contact staff writer Kathleen Brady Shea at 610-701-7625 or kbrady@phillynews.com. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adoptive parents respond to court ruling By Kathleen Brady Shea and Lini S. Kadaba INQUIRER STAFF WRITERS In an exclusive telephone interview today, the adoptive parents of Kevin, the foster child at the center of an emotional custody dispute, said they wanted the public to know that Kevin is thriving. "He's healthy, and he's happy," said Lisa Blanton, 40, of Hershey, promising that the family will pursue Kevin's best interest far beyond expectations. "The fire is under us now." Lisa and her husband, Martin, 42, talked about their first meeting with Kevin, his quick adjustment to his new parents and 8-year-old sister, and the role of race in adoptions.. On Tuesday evening, a federal court judge cleared the way for the Blantons to adopt the youngster, who will turn 4 next week. U.S. District Judge James T. Giles ruled that Randall and Susan Borelly, a white couple from Uwchlan Township, had failed to prove that Chester County officials violated the Borelleys' civil rights when they refused the couple's request to adopt Kevin, their black foster child of nearly two years. After the ruling, the Blantons emailed the following statement to the media: 4/25/06 STATEMENT FOR THE PRESS While we are not directly a part of today's and other court proceedings, this issue touches us intimately and deeply saddens our family as African Americans. If we collectively speak to the issue of race and its relativity in the adoption process, thousands of potentially needy African American children will disparagingly linger in social systems. Yet, to negate the issue of race as an African American denounces the sacrifice and pride found in our race; that we as a people... thousands of our ancestors, for centuries have fought to reclaim. We would be in essence denouncing all that we aspire to see is real and achievable every time we look in the mirror and as we raise our children. Some will contend this is akin to the phrase "having one's cake and eating it too" but is not that what we all ultimately would like to have? We want race to matter and yet we do not! Ultimately, what we want to give to our son who was caught in this battle is the best chance possible. With our daughter, we want to provide for our son a secure sense of self and love that will sustain him for a lifetime of short- and long-term goals. We do not perceive the adoption process to be one that is based on - he who raises their hand first gets the child - but one that is based on one who patiently awaits to be called. We firmly believe the Chester County Children and Youth called upon us to rise and meet the needs, because they were confident we could do so; we are doing just that. Ultimately, we believe, God made the call and Kevin heard it as well. He has embraced us lovingly from the day we first met and his love has not looked back. Our eyes have never been taken off the true focus of what this is all about, the best interest of a child. No grandstanding, blame shifting, public debate, or emotional rhetoric has deterred us from our first obligation as parents. The courts have spoken multiple times to this matter and the best interests of our child have been committed to record. Living up to these requirements will result in our treating people... no matter the race... as Christ would, looking out for others' interests before our own, and speaking up for those who cannot speak up for themselves for justice. In all this, we now want to assure the birth parents that their son Kevin has endured and is thriving, he will receive the best care as our son, forever. God has spoken, Kevin is home! Lisa & Martin Blanton -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Contact staff writer Kathy Brady Shea at 610-701-7625 or kbrady@phillynews.com.

Update on the Chester Adoption Case....

Judge expected to rule in Chesco adoption case By Kathleen Brady Shea Inquirer Staff Writer A federal court judge is expected to decide the fate tonight of a 3-year-old boy at the center of an emotionally and racially charged adoption dispute. Randall and Susan Borelly of Upper Uwchlan Township filed a lawsuit April 11 seeking to regain custody of Kevin, their African American foster child of nearly two years. The Borellys, who are white, contend that the county's reason for denying their application - an unwritten policy limiting families to one adoption per year - was a pretext for racial discrimination. For about 15 hours over two days, U.S. District Judge James T. Giles heard testimony from 16 witnesses, including the Borellys and Kevin's adoptive mother, who gained custody of the boy April 5 after county officials removed him from the Borelly home. The Borellys testified that Jessica Moon, a caseworker for Chester County's Department of Children, Youth and Families, was the first to suggest that the Borellys adopt Kevin, described as a lovable, mechanically inclined youngster who will turn 4 next week. Gertrude King, the boy's biological great-grandmother, and Jean Speiser, his court-appointed attorney, also supported the idea. After the Borellys expressed interest, county officials deemed them ineligible because they had already voiced their intent to adopt their 11-year-old niece, who had been living with them for several years. The Borellys then asked whether they could postpone their niece's proceeding to avoid losing Kevin. "We were threatened with losing our niece," Randy Borelly said. Mary Lou Beck, the manager of adoption services, testified that she felt the niece should be the Borellys' priority and that the policy helps adoptive families avoid distractions. She said that she did not view her comment about finding "other placement" for the niece as threatening. The Borellys said their efforts to obtain a copy of the one-per-year policy were unsuccessful. According to testimony from other agency employees, the policy did not exist in written form until November 2005, eight months after the Borellys submitted their application. "When I agreed to put the policy in writing, I had no idea who the Borellys were," James L. Forsythe, director of the county department, testified. The Borellys said they sought an evaluation from Bruce Mapes, a respected forensic psychologist, hoping to persuade the county to make an exception. Mapes' report, which called moving Kevin from the Borelly home "an unnecessary experiment," prompted a county judge to request the county to review its stance, according to testimony. Eve Large, the county manager of foster-care services, downplayed Mapes' assessment, suggesting that it showed the boy "can bond with another family." James John LeVan, the county's foster/adopt home finder, testified that a colleague told him that Diane Horsey, the county placement manager, "did not want to place black children with white families." Horsey denied making that statement. Asked about several previous lawsuits alleging racial discrimination by the county agency, Horsey said: "I think parents have presented that when they weren't selected for a child." Giles, who reminded the parties that he is not a family court judge, said his role was solely to determine whether a rule was applied so arbitrarily that it led to an abuse of power and "misuse of race." The judge, who took an active role in the proceeding, questioned county workers about why they ignored Chester County Court Judge Jacqueline C. Cody's order for a gradual transition from the Borelly residence to the adoptive home, opting instead for an "extraction." Carla London, the agency's deputy director, said she and Forsythe made a last-minute decision to remove Kevin from the home two days ahead of schedule. She said they feared the Borellys would be uncooperative and would involve the media, assumptions the Borellys denied. Kevin's adoptive mother told the judge that she and her family would be "devastated" if the child were taken from them. After the proceeding, Susan Borelly said her family hoped that Kevin would be returned to them, but that even if he is not, they were glad they exposed the county's actions. "It's supposed to be about the kids and that's what has been so frustrating," she said. "I think it came out in court that it's not - you don't treat Kevin the way you treated him and tell me that was in his best interest."

"Where's he from?"

This morning Dylan and I took the train to work. We scored a seat in the front of the train which Dylan loves. He was flashing his smile to all of those around us including the conductor of the train. "How old?" the conductor asked. "9 1/2 months" I tell him. "He's absolutely beautiful" said the conductor. "Thank you" I respond. "Where's he from?" I pause. I had decided the next person to ask me this question I would say "from (insert home state here)". Instead I just said "Guatemala". Let's be honest here. Dylan looks absolutely nothing like me. People are going to assume that he's adopted. It doesn't happen when we are with Marc because he's darker and Dylan does resemble him but I have red hair and fair skin. I really don't know how to feel about this. I am proud that my son is from Guatemala. I think it's a beautiful country with beautiful people. Should I be offended that a complete stranger would assume that my son is adopted? How do families with parents of different races cope? What if their child resembles one more than the other - do they get these questions? How do they handle it? So tell me readers.... should I be offended by these personal questions?

Daddy Figured It Out

On Saturday, Marc and I had a dentist appointment. Now, we normally take turns (one goes in for the cleaning - the other one hangs out in the waiting room). We took Dylan with us to meet everyone and figured we'd take turns watching him. Well, turns out they had two technicians to do the cleaning and we were scheduled at the same time. No worries, the dentist's wife graciously offered to watch Dylan. She wanted around the office with him and he was fine until she took him to see Daddy. As soon as he saw the mask on the technician, he flipped out. I couldn't understand why he was getting so upset. Marc figured that it must be from being in the hospital - associating the masks with getting needles and such. Poor kid.

Pick Us, Pick Us!!

Hi Philly people and welcome to our blog. We are a nice couple with the world's most amazing and beautiful baby who would love to spend the day visiting the Camden Waterfront and showing our beautiful boy all of the fun and exciting attractions you have to offer. So.... Pick Us! Pick Us! For my lovely readers, the above mentioned website is selecting 200 bloggers to take part in a blogging day where you get to check out the neat attractions at the Camden Waterfront for free and then blog about them. Marc and I have been to the USS New Jersey and many many years ago, I did visit the aquarium. We haven't yet been there as a family and it's on our list of cool things to do this summer with Dylan.

I had heard that this happens but....

When Marc and I started the process of adopting Dylan, we had heard some stories about people who have gone to get their children and were murdered by villagers who thought that they were there to steal children and sell them for "parts" in the US and other countries. Part of me didn't want to believe it but the other part of me knew that it probably had happened. I didn't know that it was still going on but apparently it is still happening. Now, these people may have been kidnappers. I have not been able to find the full story on this (if it exists).