SOMETHING TOO IMPORTANT NOT TO SHARE

Heartbreaking video that could save lives

New Smoking Law in Philadelphia

Can I just say that I love the new the smoking law in Philadelphia. It can bring out the creative side of some people. This was taken in one of my favorite restaurants.

And Now for Something Completely Important!

My buddies over at the Weight Watchers GDT have ramped up this year's fundraising for the Boston Race for the Cure. Last year they raised a boatload of money (over $35,000 if memory serves) and are working hard to surpass that this year. Breast cancer kills too many people. Too many woman and men and children are affected by this horrible disease. Let's knock it out! GO TEAM GDT!!!!!

Kitty

Creative!

Kitty Woot

INFERTILE BLOGGERS UNITE!

Go give my friend's mystery blogger some serious infertile loving. She's in the middle of her first cycle as an egg donor and really could use some support.

Interested in Wearing Your Baby??

If you are a Mom or Dad and are interested in "wearing" your baby in a sling, wrap, mei tai, etc. I found a great resource for us all... http://mamatoto.org/ This website has tons of videos showing the proper way to wrap, sling, etc.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Has anyone seen Cubbiegirl??? Last I read, she was getting married in December and then ~poof~ went her blog. I emailed her but no response and I'm getting a bit concerned.

Fun At The Camden Waterfront

Out of all of the bloggers in the area, THEY choose us! There was a call for local bloggers to review the Camden Waterfront. Unfortunately, due to other plans, we couldn't see all of the attractions. We had been to the Battleship New Jersey in the recent past. We were both very impressed with the ease of access. While there are many many steps, I did notice that many accommodations have been made for wheelchair and stroller access. Great pains were taken to make this a safe and enjoyable tour and I loved the fact that when we went, there were some little girls that had an Alex's Lemonade Stand right by the entrance gate. We've also been to see the Riversharks play and it was a blast! Very family friendly and lots to see and do (in addition to the baseball game). They have a kids play area with one of those moon bounce thingies and I noticed they now have a carousel and I'm a sucker for a good carousel ride! Now, on to what we did do on Sunday. We happened to get up early so we headed off to the Adventure Aquarium. What an amazing morning it was! Parking was a breeze and quite inexpensive (compared to other venues) at $7.00. Because it was so early, we scored an awesome spot and headed in. Now, if you are like Marc and I, you are up early because the kid(s) are up early. I strongly recommend going on the early side to beat the crowds. Unfortunately, Marc and I are not the best of photographers so we couldn't figure out how to get photos without getting the flash in the glass. We did manage to score a few decent shots.... Here's Dylan and I checking out a huge octopus. Yes, Dylan and I were both duly impressed and grossed out :)

They have this incredible exhibit where you can touch these little sharks and stingrays. While I wasn't comfortable letting Dylan touch them (I was worried he'd try to grab at them) he was quite happy just being this close to them... While Dylan is only 10 1/2 months old, he really enjoyed the outing. He loved being able to get right up on the glass and get close and personal with the fish. They also had this uber cool tunnel where you walk through and are just surrounded by fish. It was quite impressive to have these big sharks sailing over your head. They have a whole area outside where you can see penguins doing their thing.. And a show with these beautiful big seals.. Who looked like they could use a good belly rub (can't we all use a good belly rub?) Toward the end of our trip, we came across this little lovely. Can someone please tell me what in the world this is??? I know it's some sort of alligator or crock but it had both Marc and I totally weirded out... Unfortunately we didn't have time to see the Children's Garden which has more exhibits but we definitely plan to return when we can spend the entire day. As we left, we enjoyed a few moments by the water. The breeze and this beautiful view of the City of Brotherly Love...

Sorry for the screwy alignment at the end - I've played with it but blogger is just doing it's own thing (for a change).

So.....

Working on a redesign of the blog - stay tuned. Ignore the girl behind the curtain ;0)

You Are Not Forgotten

You are not forgotten All of my infertile friends Ones waiting on tests to start a cycle Ones waiting on surgery to start a cycle Ones waiting on menstration to start a cycyle Ones waiting that are in limbo Ones in the two week wait Ones deciding whether or not to continue Ones deciding how or if they want to build their family Ones doing IUI Ones doing IVF Ones doing donor egg Ones doing donor sperm Ones doing FET Ones doing the paperchase Ones waiting on referral Ones waiting for the call to bring their baby home Ones waiting for a natural mother to choose them to parent their child Ones waiting and wondering when it will be their turn I love you all. I know how hard this weekend can be for many. Please know that you are not forgotten.

She's at it again!

My friend Heather that is. I just got an email from her that she's doing the Lance Armstrong ride again this year. If you have a little to spare, please make a donation to this worthy cause! Here's Heather's email & story (printed with her permission).... Well, I’ve made my decision. I’m proud to announce that I will be participating in the LIVESTRONG Challenge Philadelphia this September. I’m going to ride my bike 100 miles and raise at least $2000 for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. The Lance Armstrong Foundation was founded in 1997 by cancer survivor and champion cyclist, Lance Armstrong. Their mission is to inspire and empower people affected by cancer through advocacy, public health and research programs. As you may know, my brother passed away 33 years ago from Neuroblastoma, the same cancer as Alex Scott from Alex’s Lemonade Stand. I am also doing this ride for my mom who is a breast cancer survivor. I am doing the ride for both of them, and for all of the other families who have lost someone and fought the disease. I know that with the support of my friends and family, I will far exceed my fundraising goal. I’m asking for your help in achieving this. Please consider making a donation to benefit this amazing organization. You can donate online at www.livestrongchallenge.org. Thanks for taking the time to read this and thanks, in advance, for your support. Your friend, Heather P.S. Please pass this email on to all your friends and family all their support is appreciated. Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Lance Armstrong Foundation

Applying Flame retardant Suit

Today Dylan took his first step toward officially becoming a Jew. He was circumcised. At 6:30 this morning we went over to the surgery center. There we were met by the wonderful Cantor K, our Moyal. We went over things with the anesthesiologist and the urologist and then they took Dylan to the OR. There, in the presence of the Moyal, he was put under a general and the circumcism was performed. As the surgeon worked, so did the Moyal. After, the surgeon came out and told us he was done and that everything had gone smoothly. Cantor K came out with him and brought us into a separate room where he recited prayers, we had some manachevitz (at 8:15 a.m. - hey - it's happy hour somewhere right!) and then we went back to see Dylan. He cried coming out of the anesthesia but as soon as we gave him a bottle of juice, he was fine. We came home and he slept for a number of hours. To see him right now, slamming his bottle on the floor, crawling, getting into general mischief, you'd never know what happened today. Before you flame me, please know that Marc and I put a great deal of thought into this decision. One of my blog friends who is very much anti-circ wrote me a heartfelt and well thought out email as to why I shouldn't have this procedure done to my son. As she took so much time in writing it -I took a great deal of time in making this decision. First and foremost - this is one of the most sacred rites in the Jewish religion. While we do know that there are Jews who are anti-circ, we are just not one of them. The second and most compelling argument to do it was first hand accounts by parents we had met who had made the decision not to circumcise their son only to have it done when they were older because of infection. Please don't tell me it's rare, I have spoken to so many people IRL this has happened to for it to be a fluke. My sister-in-law is a pediatrician and has told me war stories. The last straw was Dylan's teacher. Her son had a circ at 12 years old due to a terrible infection that had the poor kid out of school for an entire month. On a wholly shit note... not only did Dylan have surgery today but he climbed up two steps in the house today! Can you say - time for another gate or two :)

Hot Damn!

First, let me apologize for being a shitty blogger lately. My head has been squarely up my ass lately and, thanks to what I feel is a nice case of "post-adoption depression" I can barely form a coherent sentence these day. I've been working on a post about this and promise - as soon as I can make it halfway understandable, I will publish it. However... I did have some lovely news to share... We got Dylan's state issues birth certificate! It came in the mail today. I was so excited. One more step to finalizing all of the paperwork. I am just waiting for my agency to tell me if we have to readopt or just file for our COC (Certificte of Citizenship) to complete Dylan's adoption. Today Dylan is 10 month old Today marks 5 months since they placed Dylan in our arms. He's crawling like a pro, eating grown up foods, pulls himself up on everything (incuding the cats) and is getting ready to start taking his first steps. How time flies.

A sad update on Chester Case and a Statement from the Adoptive Parents

Chester County foster family denied custody A white couple's civil rights were not violated when county officials refused to let them adopt a black child, a judge ruled. By Kathleen Brady Shea and Benjamin Y. Lowe Inquirer Staff Writers In a hushed Philadelphia courtroom, a federal judge last night denied a Chester County family's final effort to regain custody of their beloved 3-year-old foster child. U.S. District Judge James T. Giles ruled that Randall and Susan Borelly, a white couple from Uwchlan Township, had failed to prove that Chester County officials violated their civil rights when they refused the family's request to adopt Kevin, their black foster child of nearly two years. The decision ended an emotional battle for the Borellys, who filed a lawsuit on April 11, arguing that the county Department of Children, Youth and Families' reason for denying them consideration - an unwritten policy limiting families to one adoption per year - was a pretext for racial discrimination. "We love Kevin," Randall Borelly said, "but we don't want to fight for him and move him two years from now. This has to be it." The family had been seeking a temporary restraining order to have Kevin returned. "If we've made it easier for someone else to adopt, then we did the right thing," Susan Borelly said. "There is going to be a lot more focus on that agency." Gertrude King, Kevin's biological great-grandmother, cried as Giles announced his decision. "I don't think it's fair," she said. "They should have never removed him from the Borellys' home." The judge - who distilled more than 15 hours of testimony - said he was bound to conclude that the county's asserted rule or practice was not "applied discriminatorily" to the Borellys. The Multiethnic Placement Act, a federal statute that governs adoption procedures, makes it illegal for agencies that receive federal funds to deny or delay adoptions based on race. But the law does allow for exceptions in individual cases. Race can be a factor in placement if an agency can prove that it is in the best interest of a child. "It's a shame the court's jurisdiction is so limited that it could not make the determination as to the best interests of the child," said Michael Churchill, an attorney for Jean Speiser, Kevin's court-appointed guardian. "Any agency that moves a child... in order to uphold a policy is not acting in the best interest of that child." Giles was reluctant to reopen a December decision by Chester County Court Judge Jacqueline C. Cody that enabled the Department of Children, Youth and Families to place Kevin with a new family. "This court is bound to conclude the state has adjudicated the question of whether the asserted practice or rule existed and whether it was applied in the best interest of Kevin," Giles said. Guy A. Donatelli, the agency's solicitor, said the county would not ask the Borellys to pay its legal fees, which can be a typical practice for those who sue and fail. "The county has always been confident that its actions would withstand this kind of judicial scrutiny," he said. "It's still a little bit too early to predict what the department will do according to policy issues. But every time you go through one of these things, you learn you may find ways to do it better." During the two-day hearing, the Borellys testified that they sought to adopt Kevin, an affectionate youngster with a penchant for high-performance machines, at the urging of a county caseworker, Speiser, and King. County officials deemed them ineligible because they had already expressed their intent to adopt their 11-year-old niece, who had been living with them for several years. Although the Borellys asked whether they could postpone their niece's proceeding to avoid losing Kevin, county officials suggested that the niece's adoption could be jeopardized. Officials said a policy limiting families to one adoption per year - put into writing months after the Borellys' request - served the adoptive children's best interests. "The evidence is very, very clear: There was no policy," Samuel C. Stretton, who represented the Borellys, said in his closing argument. Stretton said no valid explanation existed for the county's actions except racial bias. Churchill added that the county had a duty to "consider the best interests of this child"; instead, it argued an iron-clad policy "contrary to basic social work principles." Donatelli said he agreed that the Borellys are "good people," but he defended the agency's actions. "It did what it did because it thought it was doing what was best for this child," he said. Kevin's adoptive mother also attended the hearing on Friday and Saturday; her husband was present for last night's decision but left the courthouse without comment. The couple, who live in Pennsylvania, gained custody of Kevin on April 5 after county officials abruptly removed him from the Borelly home. County officials said they made a last-minute decision to relocate Kevin two days ahead of schedule because they feared a media onslaught, an assumption the Borellys denied. The Borellys are not the first couple to accuse the county of illegally basing adoption decisions on race. In 1995, B. William and Debra Fell sued unsuccessfully to retain custody of a 4-year-old girl who had lived with them since she was 3 months old. The Fells, a white couple from Downingtown, said the county used "racial matching" when it sent the child, who was black, to live with a Maryland social worker, who was also black. In a 1991 case, a white couple from Royersford, Victor and Mary DeWees, alleged discrimination after being told they could not adopt a 2-year-old mixed-race child from Chester County. Although U.S. District Judge Jay C. Waldman denied the couple permission to adopt the child on the basis of discrimination, he criticized expert testimony that only whites with specialized training can best address the needs of a minority child. The county subsequently reconsidered the DeWeeses' application and granted the adoption. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Contact staff writer Kathleen Brady Shea at 610-701-7625 or kbrady@phillynews.com. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adoptive parents respond to court ruling By Kathleen Brady Shea and Lini S. Kadaba INQUIRER STAFF WRITERS In an exclusive telephone interview today, the adoptive parents of Kevin, the foster child at the center of an emotional custody dispute, said they wanted the public to know that Kevin is thriving. "He's healthy, and he's happy," said Lisa Blanton, 40, of Hershey, promising that the family will pursue Kevin's best interest far beyond expectations. "The fire is under us now." Lisa and her husband, Martin, 42, talked about their first meeting with Kevin, his quick adjustment to his new parents and 8-year-old sister, and the role of race in adoptions.. On Tuesday evening, a federal court judge cleared the way for the Blantons to adopt the youngster, who will turn 4 next week. U.S. District Judge James T. Giles ruled that Randall and Susan Borelly, a white couple from Uwchlan Township, had failed to prove that Chester County officials violated the Borelleys' civil rights when they refused the couple's request to adopt Kevin, their black foster child of nearly two years. After the ruling, the Blantons emailed the following statement to the media: 4/25/06 STATEMENT FOR THE PRESS While we are not directly a part of today's and other court proceedings, this issue touches us intimately and deeply saddens our family as African Americans. If we collectively speak to the issue of race and its relativity in the adoption process, thousands of potentially needy African American children will disparagingly linger in social systems. Yet, to negate the issue of race as an African American denounces the sacrifice and pride found in our race; that we as a people... thousands of our ancestors, for centuries have fought to reclaim. We would be in essence denouncing all that we aspire to see is real and achievable every time we look in the mirror and as we raise our children. Some will contend this is akin to the phrase "having one's cake and eating it too" but is not that what we all ultimately would like to have? We want race to matter and yet we do not! Ultimately, what we want to give to our son who was caught in this battle is the best chance possible. With our daughter, we want to provide for our son a secure sense of self and love that will sustain him for a lifetime of short- and long-term goals. We do not perceive the adoption process to be one that is based on - he who raises their hand first gets the child - but one that is based on one who patiently awaits to be called. We firmly believe the Chester County Children and Youth called upon us to rise and meet the needs, because they were confident we could do so; we are doing just that. Ultimately, we believe, God made the call and Kevin heard it as well. He has embraced us lovingly from the day we first met and his love has not looked back. Our eyes have never been taken off the true focus of what this is all about, the best interest of a child. No grandstanding, blame shifting, public debate, or emotional rhetoric has deterred us from our first obligation as parents. The courts have spoken multiple times to this matter and the best interests of our child have been committed to record. Living up to these requirements will result in our treating people... no matter the race... as Christ would, looking out for others' interests before our own, and speaking up for those who cannot speak up for themselves for justice. In all this, we now want to assure the birth parents that their son Kevin has endured and is thriving, he will receive the best care as our son, forever. God has spoken, Kevin is home! Lisa & Martin Blanton -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Contact staff writer Kathy Brady Shea at 610-701-7625 or kbrady@phillynews.com.

Update on the Chester Adoption Case....

Judge expected to rule in Chesco adoption case By Kathleen Brady Shea Inquirer Staff Writer A federal court judge is expected to decide the fate tonight of a 3-year-old boy at the center of an emotionally and racially charged adoption dispute. Randall and Susan Borelly of Upper Uwchlan Township filed a lawsuit April 11 seeking to regain custody of Kevin, their African American foster child of nearly two years. The Borellys, who are white, contend that the county's reason for denying their application - an unwritten policy limiting families to one adoption per year - was a pretext for racial discrimination. For about 15 hours over two days, U.S. District Judge James T. Giles heard testimony from 16 witnesses, including the Borellys and Kevin's adoptive mother, who gained custody of the boy April 5 after county officials removed him from the Borelly home. The Borellys testified that Jessica Moon, a caseworker for Chester County's Department of Children, Youth and Families, was the first to suggest that the Borellys adopt Kevin, described as a lovable, mechanically inclined youngster who will turn 4 next week. Gertrude King, the boy's biological great-grandmother, and Jean Speiser, his court-appointed attorney, also supported the idea. After the Borellys expressed interest, county officials deemed them ineligible because they had already voiced their intent to adopt their 11-year-old niece, who had been living with them for several years. The Borellys then asked whether they could postpone their niece's proceeding to avoid losing Kevin. "We were threatened with losing our niece," Randy Borelly said. Mary Lou Beck, the manager of adoption services, testified that she felt the niece should be the Borellys' priority and that the policy helps adoptive families avoid distractions. She said that she did not view her comment about finding "other placement" for the niece as threatening. The Borellys said their efforts to obtain a copy of the one-per-year policy were unsuccessful. According to testimony from other agency employees, the policy did not exist in written form until November 2005, eight months after the Borellys submitted their application. "When I agreed to put the policy in writing, I had no idea who the Borellys were," James L. Forsythe, director of the county department, testified. The Borellys said they sought an evaluation from Bruce Mapes, a respected forensic psychologist, hoping to persuade the county to make an exception. Mapes' report, which called moving Kevin from the Borelly home "an unnecessary experiment," prompted a county judge to request the county to review its stance, according to testimony. Eve Large, the county manager of foster-care services, downplayed Mapes' assessment, suggesting that it showed the boy "can bond with another family." James John LeVan, the county's foster/adopt home finder, testified that a colleague told him that Diane Horsey, the county placement manager, "did not want to place black children with white families." Horsey denied making that statement. Asked about several previous lawsuits alleging racial discrimination by the county agency, Horsey said: "I think parents have presented that when they weren't selected for a child." Giles, who reminded the parties that he is not a family court judge, said his role was solely to determine whether a rule was applied so arbitrarily that it led to an abuse of power and "misuse of race." The judge, who took an active role in the proceeding, questioned county workers about why they ignored Chester County Court Judge Jacqueline C. Cody's order for a gradual transition from the Borelly residence to the adoptive home, opting instead for an "extraction." Carla London, the agency's deputy director, said she and Forsythe made a last-minute decision to remove Kevin from the home two days ahead of schedule. She said they feared the Borellys would be uncooperative and would involve the media, assumptions the Borellys denied. Kevin's adoptive mother told the judge that she and her family would be "devastated" if the child were taken from them. After the proceeding, Susan Borelly said her family hoped that Kevin would be returned to them, but that even if he is not, they were glad they exposed the county's actions. "It's supposed to be about the kids and that's what has been so frustrating," she said. "I think it came out in court that it's not - you don't treat Kevin the way you treated him and tell me that was in his best interest."

"Where's he from?"

This morning Dylan and I took the train to work. We scored a seat in the front of the train which Dylan loves. He was flashing his smile to all of those around us including the conductor of the train. "How old?" the conductor asked. "9 1/2 months" I tell him. "He's absolutely beautiful" said the conductor. "Thank you" I respond. "Where's he from?" I pause. I had decided the next person to ask me this question I would say "from (insert home state here)". Instead I just said "Guatemala". Let's be honest here. Dylan looks absolutely nothing like me. People are going to assume that he's adopted. It doesn't happen when we are with Marc because he's darker and Dylan does resemble him but I have red hair and fair skin. I really don't know how to feel about this. I am proud that my son is from Guatemala. I think it's a beautiful country with beautiful people. Should I be offended that a complete stranger would assume that my son is adopted? How do families with parents of different races cope? What if their child resembles one more than the other - do they get these questions? How do they handle it? So tell me readers.... should I be offended by these personal questions?

Daddy Figured It Out

On Saturday, Marc and I had a dentist appointment. Now, we normally take turns (one goes in for the cleaning - the other one hangs out in the waiting room). We took Dylan with us to meet everyone and figured we'd take turns watching him. Well, turns out they had two technicians to do the cleaning and we were scheduled at the same time. No worries, the dentist's wife graciously offered to watch Dylan. She wanted around the office with him and he was fine until she took him to see Daddy. As soon as he saw the mask on the technician, he flipped out. I couldn't understand why he was getting so upset. Marc figured that it must be from being in the hospital - associating the masks with getting needles and such. Poor kid.

Pick Us, Pick Us!!

Hi Philly people and welcome to our blog. We are a nice couple with the world's most amazing and beautiful baby who would love to spend the day visiting the Camden Waterfront and showing our beautiful boy all of the fun and exciting attractions you have to offer. So.... Pick Us! Pick Us! For my lovely readers, the above mentioned website is selecting 200 bloggers to take part in a blogging day where you get to check out the neat attractions at the Camden Waterfront for free and then blog about them. Marc and I have been to the USS New Jersey and many many years ago, I did visit the aquarium. We haven't yet been there as a family and it's on our list of cool things to do this summer with Dylan.

I had heard that this happens but....

When Marc and I started the process of adopting Dylan, we had heard some stories about people who have gone to get their children and were murdered by villagers who thought that they were there to steal children and sell them for "parts" in the US and other countries. Part of me didn't want to believe it but the other part of me knew that it probably had happened. I didn't know that it was still going on but apparently it is still happening. Now, these people may have been kidnappers. I have not been able to find the full story on this (if it exists).

Our Weekend Drama

It all started on Friday night. My Mom had Dylan for the day. I got out early and was heading home w/my sister when Mom called. Dylan felt warm and could bring a thermometer with me to check his temp. No problem, I figured she should have one in the house anyway so I bought a thermometer and headed over. Well, Bubbie was right... 103.8 temp. Gave him some tylenol and headed home. I called his doctor's office who got us in on Saturday morning at 9:15 a.m. The doctor checked him out - his ears were clear, boogies in the nose - little congestion in the chest. Doc says it's a cold w/fever and to just give him tylenol and/or motrin and he'll be fine. Well, since Dylan seemed to be feeling better, we stopped for breakfast and then went over to the park and let Dylan play on the swings. Marc took him down the slide. We stopped off to say hi to a friend who hadn't met Dylan and then took him home. Around 5:30 or so, Marc was playing in the living room with Dylan. Dylan was just laughing and having a good old time. All of a sudden he starts to wail. I told Marc that wasn't a normal cry and took his temp. It was 104.something. I called the pediatrician's office and they said a nurse would call us back. Marc said he didn't want to wait - he wanted to go to the ER. We grabbed our stuff and ran to the car. I jumped in the back w/Dylan and we started going before he was even fully in the car seat. Luckily we live off a major highway and it took no time to get him to the children's hospital. On the way there, Dylan's eyes were doing some strange tick thing and he wasn't focusing on anything. His neck was twisted and he just started straight up. I was (somewhat) ok until we got to the ER. I lost it. I ran into Emergency and broke down in tears. They took us straight back and the nurse asked how she could help us and I held out Dylan and said "fix him!". She took him temp and it was 105.5. They immediately took us into an exam room and the doctor's came right away. He was burning up in my arms. His neck was very stiff and all I could think was meningitis. They did a spinal tap on him. This time went a lot faster (and better) than the last time. While they were doing it - a nurse walked past the table and it brushed the curtain out of the way. Dylan was just staring at me crying. It shattered my heart. They pulled the curtain closed again and I just wanted to die. I wanted to change places with him. The doctor came out of the exam room w/the spinal fluid and held it up for Marc and I to see. He said that the fluid is perfectly clear which is a very good sign. They took blood, snot and put an IV in his hand and got us a room. This experience was much different from the last time we were there. Last time Dylan was in ICU so he had a private room - this time he had a roommate. Beautiful little 2 year old boy with a very inconsiderate Mom. She had visitors till after 10 and it got to the point where I had to ask the nurse to see about moving us. Luckily she just kicked out the visitors instead. Well, yesterday they discharged us with a diagnosis of Adenovirus - basically a cold that has really high fevers. He got up this a.m. and had no fever (Thank Gd!) Oh, did I mention throughout this I also had in the back of my mind that my period was 3 days late. Got it yesterday after I sent Marc to the store for an EPT. Nothing brings on a period like spending good money on a pregnancy test. I'm so tired.

Smoking a Fatty

A big fat turkey breast that is :) Marc had a lovely turkey breast sitting in a brine since Saturday. He just fired up the gas grill (just one burner), removed the cover from the burner, filled a pie tin full of mesquite wood placed it gently on the burner and the turkey on the grills next to it and closed the door. A few hours from now (refilling the wood every so often) we will have ourselves a nice smoked turkey breast.

Any Geeks Out There???

Marc and I are having a strange problem with out computer. Usually, when we want to get to a website we either type website.com or www.website.com and poof... we are there. Now, all of a sudden, you have to add in the "http://" before the website otherwise it will just sit there. Any idea of why this is happening and how to fix it?

Wishing you all...

A very happy, healthy Passover. Next year at Wessel's!! Just kidding Wessel :)

What do you get

When you mix a 9 month old baby who has taken to pulling himself up on furniture and a coffee table with sharp edges??? An ugy scratch & bruise on a very beautiful face :( Just put Marc and I in the "Parents who suck" category this weekend. Firt I let him pull himself up on the table from which he fell and zonked his eye on the table. Big lump over his eye (in his eyebrow so you really couldn't see it). Pull out the boo boo bunny (thanks Aunt Jodi!) and make all better. Later Marc is watching him crawl around. He pulls himelf up at the same point but managed to hit the corner and scratch & bruise himself. Needless to say, we took a ride over to Target and got some padding for the table.

Outrageous!!!

Ire over boy's removal from foster By Benjamin Y. Lowe and Kathleen Brady Shea Inquirer Staff Writers Two days ahead of schedule, Chester County officials removed a tearful, 3-year-old child yesterday from his Downingtown-area foster home so he could be placed with a family who is adopting him in central Pennsylvania. The county's original plan was for the child to meet his new family yesterday and then leave his current Uwchlan Township home for good tomorrow, said his foster parents, Randall and Susan Borelly. They cared for the child for nearly two years but were prevented from adopting him. Instead, according to the family, two caseworkers from the Department of Children, Youth and Families arrived at 10 a.m. yesterday - an hour ahead of schedule - and said that "plans have changed" and that they were removing the child then. Randall Borelly was at work and Susan Borelly and her sister, who was visiting, asked for more time. After being told the sister wanted to take the child, named Kevin, on a quick errand, the two caseworkers returned to their car and called police. Two officers arrived 30 minutes later. Susan Borelly let one of the officers into the house as she and her husband, who had since returned, packed Kevin's things. Susan Borelly said later that she told Kevin that the county "wanted him to meet his new mom and dad. He said, 'I'll be scared. Mommy and Daddy are here'." They said they bid their final good-byes to Kevin as Susan Borelly fastened him into a carseat in a county vehicle. He was gone by 11 a.m. Randall Borelly said that Kevin's foster siblings did not get a chance to say good-bye. "They expected to see him when they came home [from school]," he said. James L. Forsythe, director of the county's Department of Children, Youth and Families, said confidentiality requirements prevented him from explaining why the child was removed ahead of schedule. He did say, however, that children to be adopted almost always meet with their new families prior to moving in with them. In addition, Forsythe would not say why the two caseworkers called police. Uwchlan Township Police Chief J. Patrick Davis said his department was contacted because the two social workers said they were "meeting resistance." The Borellys denied that. The sister, Beth Sweeney of Wisconsin, said she told the case workers that they were early and to come back at 11 o'clock. In addition, she said she wanted to take Kevin to the store before returning at that time. Davis said two officers were dispatched to ensure that the handoff went smoothly, which it did. Last year, the Borellys sought to adopt a niece, Danielle. But the county told the department that they could adopt only one because the county restricts families from adopting more than one child per year, unless the children are related. The Borellys adopted the girl, with the hope of reapplying to adopt Kevin in a year. But last week, the Borellys were told that Kevin was being adopted by a family in Central Pennsylvania and that the new family would visit yesterday before returning to collect him tomorrow. Adoption experts deplored the decision to remove Kevin from his home two days before promised. Transitions from foster to permanent care are already traumatic, they said, let alone trying to accomplish it in one day. "The child needs to be prepared because, psychologically, he has bonded with the family," said Gloria Hochman, a spokeswoman for the National Adoption Center in Philadelphia. "To him, those are his parents. A child that age doesn't know the difference between foster and adopt." A spokeswoman for the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare said it reviewed the Borelly family's case but is powerless to intervene. Adoption policies are set at the county level. "We understand from the county this was a difficult decision to make," said Stacey Ward, the spokeswoman. "After reviewing their policies and procedures, we were able to determine that they followed everything correctly. There is no action we at this level can take to overturn their decision." A psychologist who examined Kevin and the Borelly family in December at the family's request said it was unnecessary to move Kevin, who is black, from the white family because he had become acclimated. Not only had Kevin bonded to the parents, Bruce E. Mapes, of Exton, said in a written report, but he bonded to Danielle, 11, and the father's stepchildren, David, 15 and Emily, 12. But the Borellys said that they believe the county preferred to put Kevin, who is black, with a black family. It is illegal to guide adoptions according to race. Michael Churchill, chief counsel for the Public Interest Law Center of Philadelphia, said the county's "outrageous" actions at removing the child yesterday suggested that race was a factor. "It is certainly hard to understand what else would lead them to do what is so harmful to the child," said Churchill, who represented a Downingtown couple in a similar case. In 1995, B. William and Debra Fell sued unsuccessfully to retain custody of a 4-year-old girl who had lived with them since she was 3-months-old. In a civil rights filing, the Fells, who are white, charged that the county used "racial matching" when it sent the child, who was black, to live with a Maryland social worker, who was also black. Churchill said he doubted that any child-welfare expert would recommend uprooting a young child from a longtime, loving environment. "Once again, it appears that adult concerns are preventing them from seeing what this child really needs: staying with a loving, caring family." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Which one of you lovelies

Which one of you lovely bloggers posted about the controversy on adoption.com pulling the GBLT board?

Update

The Tylenol seems to be working. He hasn't been banging his head, hitting his head, pulling his hair, etc. He's still fighting me on making eye contact w/me - but I think he's just being a brat because he makes eye contact w/Marc. He's definately Daddy's little boy.

Finally!

I heard back from the mutherfucker, I mean doctor. Actually, he was very nice and apologized for not getting back to me. He said he never got the message so I politely told him that the processes in place in that office are horrible and that he really needs to work on it. He agreed and said he would. We have him a bit confused - he's not quite sure why Dylan is doing this. He said that babies will bang their heads when they are in pain. I'm wondering if this could be from teething. He asked me to give him tylenol for the next 24 hours to see if that makes a difference. I ran down to the day care and gave him some tylenol and got me some baby lovin. I feel a little better but I'm still on edge.

You are fucking with the wrong bitch my friend.

Over the weekend, Dylan started acting a little strange. He was banging his head against my chest and pulling his hair. Then, yesterday, he was slamming his head on the side of the crib. Of course, with his medical history, I called his neurologist. The message I left was "my son, who has a history of seizures, is behaving strangely". Now, if you were a physician and got that message would you not call back? I left the message at 9:00 a.m. By 4:00 p.m. I was pissed! I called the office and was told that my physician was out this week and that his back up was in clinic all day and would call me back. Did any of you hear my phone ring??? Yeah, neither did I. I had a meeting first thing this morning. I came out to find a message from the day care center. I had told them about his behavior and asked them to keep an eye on him. Well, he was crawling on the floor and began to slam his head against the rocking chair. He didn't draw blood but it definitely left a mark. I again called the neurologist but now I'm hot. I left a scathing message. That was at 10:00. Oh, wait, it's 11:00 - time to call again. Be right back... It's 11:13 and I just left another message. Oh, they will be getting calls every hour on the hour - then every half hour and then every 15 minutes. I'm so upset and I'm trying very hard not to start crying at work. I feel like I've done something wrong. I want to quit my job and be a stay at home Mom. Of course, I can't do that. Do these people know who they are fucking with??? Don't they realize that if they don't call back today my next step will be a message for the president of the hospital and tomorrow morning I will be in their waiting room with my child. I hate when doctor's do this shit. They have nurses - they can call me back.

Ack!

I took Dylan to the doctor's yesterday for a follow up. He's off the inhaler and just has to finish up the antibiotic. While we were waiting I put him up on the examining table to play with the crinkly paper (he loves that sound). All of a sudden he starts crawling on his hands and knees (instead of the army crawl). I almost passed out! I figured, maybe it's because of the paper that he's doing it, that it's helping him along. So, when we got home I put him on the hardwood floor and he started to crawl! It's kinda funny, he moves his hands and just drags his legs behind him. I called Marc and asked him when he'd be home, he was on his way so I told him I was glad he was on his way cause his son was crawling! When Marc got home, we took Dylan into the family room (all hard wood - no rugs) and he had a blast! We put him in the walker toy and his toes are just now touching the floor so he was able to get some motion. Then we put him on the floor and not only did he crawl but he surprised us both by pulling himself up on the exersaucer! Our boy is growing up!

What I Accomplished Today.

Jack Shit. That's what. Dylan awoke this morning wheezing up a storm. His coughing had gotten worse and now he was wheezing. I called the doctor's office and spoke with the after hours nurse. She said she wanted Dylan seen so we had a 10:45 appointment. We left after 2:00! Dylan is now on a nebulizer and antibiotics. Poor kid has an ear infection and it's irritating his bronchial passages (thus the nebulizer). I have to say - this nebulizer thing is the devil to Dylan. I don't think he's cried as much in the three months we've been with him than he did today. For each of the 10 minute treatments he just wailed. Tears and all. We tried giving him a treatment while he slept on my nap. That didn't go over well. I'm sure he's scarred for life and will tell his therapist that I traumatized him by doing that. Why do I feel so guilty? I know I did everything I was supposed to do up to this point but I just feel like if I had brought him in sooner, he may not have needed all of this shit (meds). He's on amoxicilon which I am allergic to. Because I had such a bad reaction to it, I'm very paranoid. I think I may have to glue the baby monitor to my head tonight. I do have to say that the doctor was impressed with Dylan. She wasn't Dylan's regular doctor. She was one of her partners. She couldn't believe that this baby, with 101 fever, infected ear and coughing up a storm was, when not coughing, smiling and charming everyone. We weren't surprised. That's Dylan.

The Pro-Life Movement

Is really scraping the bottom of the barrel when they use Her Supreme Tartlette as their role-model. Please don't misunderstand, I think the form of a pregnant woman is beautiful. I do, however, feel this particular sculpture with it's press release is hysterical.

Infertile LOST Fans (possible spoiler)

Ok, how many of you were flipping out when the doctor told Sun & Jin that they could never have children due to endo. Marc was laughing at me because I was so angry that they would say that just because she had endometriosis, that she could never get pregnant and there was nothing they could do about it (which we all know is not true). Of course, later, when the doctor stops Sun on the street to say that he lied because he didn't want her husband to lose face, I felt a smidge better. I was cruising the channels one day last week and saw one of my guilty pleasures was on. I flipped over to watch Beetle Juice. I love this movie but as I watched it part of me was sad. Buried in the plot of the movie is the infertility of Barbara. The real estate agent tells her that the house is too big for just the two of them and then looks horrorstruck and apologizes. A little later, as Barbara and her husband, Adam, are going out, he teases her that they can use this vacation to try again. I never noticed it before I had the fertility issues. It never struck me. Now, having gone through it I definately feel for that character. What other movies have struck you differently since going through IF?

What do you get when you have a baby in day care?

The flu. UGH! I've been sick since last Thursday. Coughing up a lung, sneezing and generally feeling like shit. Dylan's been hacking and was coughing quite a bit in his sleep last night. Hopefully, we are on the tail end of being sick. Other than that things have been good. Marc's Dad came in to meet Dylan (he lives in CO) and to see one of his other son's perform at Carnegie Hall with his choir. Marc and his brother went up w/his Dad to see the concert and reported back that it was wonderful. Dylan and I stayed home and got a visit from Bubbie who came bearing a few new books, a onsie that says "that's it, I'm going to Bubbie's" and fresh. home made homentashen. I'm just wanting to get through this week. From being sick I'm just exhausted. I have to stop at the market on the way home and then I'm in for the night! Thank Gd the cleaning woman comes tomorrow so I don't have to worry about cleaning up this weekend... just laundry.

Just a quick hello

Sorry I've been MIA lately. I've been so crazy with Dylan, with work and with family lately that I just don't seem to have the time to blog. I've gotten the hang of the wrap and I have to say, I love it! The only time I use the stroller is when I have a lot to carry, otherwise, he's tied to me. This morning, it was very cold so I faced him into me and put a blanket over him to protect him from the wind. I had my jacket open. It may have been 30 degrees out but I was quite comfortable and Dylan just laid his head on my chest and went to sleep. For some strange reason, he was up all night. I don't think it was his food so it must have been the teething. He has one on the bottom full through and one coming up from the bottom. He has one full through on the top side (think fang) and another coming up on the other side (other fang - we've been calling him Count lately). I'll try some Motrin tonight and hopefully we'll all get some sleep. Marc is such an incredible Dad. He's so good with Dylan. I just love to see them play together. I've decided to try to get my act together and try to get to my weight watchers goal. I have been playing with the same 5lbs for over a year now. I decided to do the core program and so far so good. I'm really hoping for a nice loss this week. Time will tell. The family stuff is my Mom's job. She works with Satan. Due to some issues - I really can't discuss it here but trust me, when all is said and done, I will totally out her company and tell you about the horrible treatment my Mom has received. I just worry about her and the stress she's under. Sorry to post and run but....

Guess what tomorrow is....

Yep, it's Steak and BJ Day!

Warning to my fellow infertiles in Palm Beach, Florida

Please please please spread the warning. Don't let this sick fucker pray on any more people! Surrogacy center's chief is chargedThe Cherry Hill center stole thousands from clients and from the surrogate mothers themselves, they say.By Sam WoodInquirer Staff WriterFor a fee, the MidAtlantic Center for Surrogacy in Cherry Hill promised to make dreams of parenthood come true. Tauheedah Jones, of Sicklerville, turned to the center because doctors said a pregnancy could kill her; Kenny Rohan of Long Island because his wife had lost her ovaries to cancer; Steven Cerqua of New York City because he wanted his partner, Ernesto, to experience the joys of fatherhood. Each looked to MidAtlantic to provide a surrogate mother who would carry a child until birth and then turn the infant over to the fee-paying parents. But as Jones and others would later relate, they had ventured into an unregulated netherworld where promises, they said, are not always as good as the money they put up. "I thought if I could give birth and not die, that would be great," said Jones, who has systemic lupus. "But it turned into a disaster." On Jan. 27, a Burlington County grand jury indicted MidAtlantic's program director, Len Brooks, on theft charges. Brooks, who has denied the charges, will have his first appearance in court Monday. Following the indictment, the prosecutor's office was inundated with calls. At least 17 people telephoned to register complaints about Brooks. A Marlton fertility clinic and seven individuals, including two in France, also contacted The Inquirer to say that they had lost thousands of dollars. Jones' story is typical of those of former clients. In 2001, Jones, then 23, wanted to have a child. But systemic lupus, an immune-system disorder, had begun to attack her kidneys. Her doctor had advised her against carrying her own child - but that did not mean she could not have another woman carry for her. So Jones scoured the Internet for information and an agency. She chose the MidAtlantic Center for Surrogacy and Egg Donation because it was the closest to her home. Surrogacy as we know it is relatively new. In 1980, a mother of three, known as "Elizabeth Kane," carried a boy for an Illinois couple. Advocates cite the Bible, Genesis 16:1-15, as the first recorded surrogate birth: when Hagar gave birth to Ishmael for Abraham and Sarah. There have been about 25,000 births through surrogacy since 1980, said Shirley Zager, director of the nonprofit Organization of Parents Through Surrogacy. Celebrities have flocked to it. During the last year alone, actress Angela Bassett, singer Art Garfunkel, and model Cindy Margolis became surro-parents, joining Joan Lunden, Kelsey Grammer, Peri Gilpin, soap opera star Deidre Hall, Cheryl Tiegs, actress Laurie Metcalf, author Jacquelyn Mitchard, and Michael Jackson. Jones had her first consultation with Brooks in 2001 and gave him a down payment of $7,000. He showed her pictures of his family - his partner, Brian, and the daughter they themselves had had through surrogacy. "He told me he was affiliated with the Cooper Center for In-Vitro Fertilization," said Jones, who was going to supply her own eggs. "They have a really good reputation." Over the next two years, Jones paid a total of $35,000 to MidAtlantic. The money was supposed to be held in trust and used for doctors, the surrogate mother in San Diego, and miscellaneous fees. From the start, there were problems. Brooks, in his role as coordinator of the pregnancy, gave the surrogate the wrong dates and times for doctors' appointments, Jones said. That was forgivable. She really began to worry when the fertility clinic, the Cooper Center for In-Vitro Fertilization in Marlton, sent her a letter saying they were no longer willing to work with Brooks' clients. "He wasn't paying the bills," said Jerome H. Check, the medical director of the Cooper Center. "He also told several patients he was affiliated with our office, which he wasn't. He used our credibility to have patients pay him, and suddenly nobody could get ahold of him." Jones asked Brooks for her account balance. Even though not even a single surrogacy procedure had been completed, her $35,000 escrow account was down to $14,800. Jones demanded receipts. She called the surrogate mother in California and asked how much of a stipend she was receiving from MidAtlantic. Brooks told Jones the surrogate would get $16,000. The surrogate told her she was getting $14,000. Jones threatened Brooks with a lawsuit if she did not get the balance of her money back. He sent her a check. It bounced, she said. He sent her another check, and she took it to the bank on which it was drawn. "I took it there three times," she said. "Each time, it wouldn't clear." Jacklen Billings, 24, volunteered to become an egg donor for MidAtlantic in 2004 after giving birth to her own child. A professional model in Blanco, Texas, Billings had enjoyed pregnancy so much that she decided to become a surrogate mother. "Everything was OK, until the first time I was owed money from Len. Then, he was suddenly unreachable," Billings said. MidAtlantic owes her more than $4,500, she said - and the paperwork she has demanded to end her contract. So far, only one criminal complaint has been filed against Brooks and MidAtlantic. The Burlington County indictment says Brooks took $24,500 from a single man from Evesham Township and promised to find a woman who would bear a child for him. Soon after cashing the man's check, Brooks told him the surrogate had backed out. Brooks promised to provide another surrogate or make a refund. Months went by. After nine months, the man filed charges, and Evesham police issued a warrant for Brooks' arrest. Brooks sent an $18,000 check directly to the police. He said he kept the remaining $6,500 to cover fees. Brooks denied the charges when he was reached last month in Florida, where he is now operating the International Surrogacy Consultants in Palm Beach. "It is apparent that the accuser is using the criminal justice system as a collections department," he said. He has declined later requests for interviews, at the advice his lawyer. MidAtlantic still maintains a Web site touting its presence in South Jersey. But Brooks has pulled out of his Cherry Hill "office" - a post-office box at a Mailbox Etc. - and set up the Florida agency, the prosecutor's office said. It's a box drop in the rear of a Palm Beach souvenir shop.

Just bop bop bopping along!

I am so tired of using the stroller on the train I can't begin to tell you. It's big, cumbersome and gets in everyone's way. Before we had left for Guatemala, I had picked up the Ultimate Baby Wrap. Well, I couldn't figure it out and it ended up stuffed back in our suitcase. I have a friend who uses a wrap and she came by the office to teach me how to use it (even let me use her daughter as a test subject. Well, this morning off we went to the train but instead of dumping Dylan into his stroller, he got strapped to my chest! I had him facing out and he absolutely loved it (as did I). I was able to get through the turnstile so much easier, I didn't have to deal with the elevator, it was wonderful! Plus, because we didn't have the stroller, we could sit down. We managed to score a seat in the very front of the train - so Dylan could look out of the front window. He was fascinated by the world flying by him. We then spent Saturday Morning walking around a lovely park. We watched the dogs and babies and just enjoyed the warm sun. It was heavenly! On Saturday afternoon I threw together a lasagne. I'm taking it over to Liana & Mason's later today (Sunday). I saw them on Friday afternoon before Liana's D&E procedure. They were in the park by my office and had called me to stop by. I am just amazed at their strength. They are amazing people and I'm just so sorry for their loss. All of their losses. I promise when I see them I will hung them for all of you. This afternoon, we are also going to see Double Bubbie (Dylan's Great Grandmother). It's her birthday this week and we are all getting together for a group visit. It's so hard to see her. She has no idea who she is, where she is, etc. She was such an amazing woman in her youth. I think my sister nailed it on the head when she said that Gd forgot Grandmom. After visiting, we are headed to my boss' house for brunch. Dylan will get to play with his girlfriend (whose Mom taught me how to do the wrap) and we will have some grownup time too.

This has been a shitty week

for my friends. First my friend Lisa and now my friend Liana has lost her baby at about 16 weeks. I spoke with her yesterday and the pain and anguish in her voice... I could feel it in my soul. My heart is breaking for her and her husband. Please go give her some love and support. She hasn't updated her blog yet and I wasn't going to post anything but there are some other bloggers pointing people her way so I figured I'd do the same.

I don't know if she still reads my blog but in case she does

I just got an email over the weekend. My friend, Lisa, lost her baby to SIDS about a week and a half ago. To say that my heart is breaking for her and her family is to put it mildly. I wish I lived closer, that I could be a true friend to her and be there for her and her husband and son. Instead, I will ask my friends here to say a prayer, send good vibes, healing energy, etc. to them.

Grab Your Hazmet Suits....

We've got a toxic ass on our hands! This morning, Dylan slept in a bit. When I finally woke him, he had blown through this diaper. Ok, I figured that it was because he had slept in. We took the train into work (as usual) but Dylan usually falls asleep when we go underground, near the end of our trip. Today, he conked out almost immediately. Still, we went in and I dropped him off at day care. I was in my office for maybe an hour when the phone rang. It was day care, the boy had turned toxic, please come and get my stinky ass son from day care (ok, they didn't say that but whew, they had every right to!). I called Marc because there was no way in hell that I was going to risk a diaper blow out on the train. We finally got home and the first thing we did was get him some pedialite then off for a 2 hour nap. He got up, played a little then another huge nap. In between, I changed some hideous diapers. I finally found the themometer and he had a 100.6 temp (under his arm). He's sleeping now. I just checked on him and I swear, stinky butt and all, he is the most beautiful boy in the whole wide world.

Prayers for a Friend

Tomorrow is a very sad day for my friend Cecily. One year ago she lost her boys. If you are the praying type, please say a prayer for Cecily, Charlie and their boys, Nicholas and Zachary.

Instant Karma

Just add good deed and Presto! Last night Marc, Dylan and I went grocery shopping. Pre-Dylan, we'd maybe fill our cart up. Now, post-Dylan our cart was literally overflowing (including using the rack on the bottom). We get into line and there is an elderly gentleman in front of us. His face is just torn up. I overheard him telling the cashier that he had fallen on Friday. They say goodbye and it's our turn. I push the cart up and noticed that the gentleman had left his wallet. I throw it to Marc and he runs into the parking lot. Realizing he had no idea who this man was, he wasn't about to start yelling "sir sir" so he checked the wallet - found the driver's license and yelled the man's name. The man luckily hadn't left and was very grateful to have his wallet back. Marc comes back in and helps me bag up our $200 grocery order. Now... Marc went through all of the coupons and, I am proud to say, almost everything we bought had a coupon or was on sale (or both!). The cashier has about 5 more coupons to register and hits a wrong button. The assistant manager comes over and tells her that she has to recheck the entire order. I whisper to Marc that I'm not sticking around while they unpack everything and re-ring it. Then, the manager comes over. She apologizes and tells us "today's your lucky day!" She tells the cashier to ring in $150 and that's it. We saved $50! Instant Karma :)

Ok, that was really gross.

Please stop reading if you get queasy easily (yes, that means all of my pregnant friends truly do not want to read this post). It has to do w/my cat and it's really gross. I mean it! This is your last warning! Ok, but I told you so... (I know Cecily is still ready cause nothing grosses her out when it comes to animals). On Friday night, I noticed that my old girl, Saffron, had her eye partially shut. Now, she's a Persian and her eyes get goopy from time to time so I took a cloth and cleaned up her eye. It didn't really seem better but I figured I'd keep a close watch on her. Saturday morning I'm getting ready to go to meet Marc at th gym so that we can go to Weight Watchers when I decide to check on Saffron. Now her eye is completely closed and I can't seem to get it open. I call the vet - he's not in till late next week, call the old (read super expensive) vet and he gets us right in. I had the option of waiting and I'm soooo glad I didn't. Luckily Dylan was in one of his super awesome moods which made life a lot easier. The vet came in and said that it looked like it was some sort of infection and took a sterile cloth and pressed under her eye. Blood & puss flew out of her eye! I was not expecting this (actually, neither was the vet!) and almost freaked out. They took her into the back, shaved her little eye and flushed her. Turns out she had a major sinus infection. After 24 hours on antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, pain killers and triple antibiotic ointment - she looks so much better! Here eye is still bleeding from time to time but the doctor told me to expect that. My poor baby has been through much in her 15 years. She's had fatty liver disease twice (unusual), discovered she had a heart mummor, had various other normal kitty ailments and now this.

Awww - poor Mommy

This morning as I entered my office building, another woman was bringing her baby in a stroller. Now, I know everyone in Dylan's room and this was not a regular but before I could say anything she asked me if I was heading to the day care. I told her we were and she explained that it was her first day and she had no idea what to do (there is a main stair case to the center but if you have a stroller, you have to take the elevators down). I brought her in and showed her where to go as her son was in Dylan's room. I had set Dylan up, put his bottles away, gave him a million and one kisses, gave him and his friends toys to play with and headed out. This poor woman was putting her son's things away and bawling. I felt so bad that I offered to hang out and help her if she needed. I told her that we all got upset leaving our babies for the first time and it's ok to cry. That she should call or stop by - the center is ok w/it and that her son was in a safe place and was going to have a blast. She sobbed her thanks and said she was ok so I continued on to work. Poor girl. I'm sure she'll be a pro by the end of the week though.

Tag... I'm it!

My dear friend tagged me so.... Four jobs I've had in my life: Well, I've had a lot more than four but my top four would be 1. Kereoke hostess 2. Bartender 3. Shiatsu Massage Therapist and 4. Queen of Clubs (people who know me in real life get this one) Four movies I can watch over and over: 1. Princess Bride 2. Overboard 3. Matilda 4. Drop Dead Fred Four places I have lived: 1. Philadelphia 2. Israel 3. Philadelphia 4. New Jersey Four TV shows I love to watch: 1. Lost 2. Gilmore Girls 3. Veronica Mars 4. Buffy & Angel Reruns Four places I have been on vacation (in order of favorites): 1. Boston (to see our Andy and Lori) 2. St. Martin 3. Jamaica 4. Dominican Republic Four websites I visit daily: Four - are you kidding!! Look at my fucking bloglines list! You want me to pick four? 1. www.weightwatchers.com 2. http://galica.typepad.com/blog/ 3. www.woot.com 4. http://zia.blogs.com/wastedbirthcontrol Now, don't get offended - I read you all daily! Four of my favorite foods: 1. Mar'c Chicken Parm 2. Wings 3. Sushi 4. Angel Mints Four places I'd rather be right now: 1. Home w/Dylan and Marc 2. Someplace Warm with Dylan and Marc 3. Spa getting a massage & facial 4. At the gym Four other bloggers to tag... Barb Lisa Jawdy and Manuela

Are You Ready For Some Football????

We had a great weekend. We took Dylan to his first football game. Ok, it was arena football so don't yell at me about having him out in the cold :) He was fascinated by all of the people, the music, the lights, the cheerleaders (just like his daddy!). He just looked around and, even though he was exhausted by the end, just sat and smiled and charmed everyone around us. We won which made the game all the better.

Following the cool kids...

So, Cubbie pointed me to this site and it looked pretty cool. Please take my Johari please.

Love that Man of Mine!

The day before Valentine's Day, Marc brought home flowers from him and Dylan. A most beautiful arrangement of roses and other flowers. Then, for Valentine's day, Marc bought me the most amazing pair of diamond hoop earings. Of course I spent the next 24 hours obsessing about how much he spent. When he got home last night I told him I was worried he spent too much. He told me how much he thought I deserved them (which made me cry) and that he didn't break the bank (they sure look like he did!). He also gave me a card from Dylan which also made me cry (someone see a pattern here?). I had gotten him a card as well (he got a bit misty) and tickets to a Wings game. Oh, he also got me my favorite comic. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing husband and son. I'm truly blessed!

Would any type of adoption reform

Been able to help this man? David Archuletta thought his child was stillborn. Turns out his ex-girlfriend placed the child with an adoptive family telling the family and the agency she didn't know who the father was. Flash forward several months after the baby has been born (and is with the adoptive family) they receive an extortion letter from the child's other mother. Give me money or I'm telling the father. They did what they were supposed to do - they turned the letter over to the agency. The agency sat on the letter and the baby's father was never notified. After a year she tells him and he's been trying to get custody ever since. He lacks funds for legal representation. I see so many culpable parties in this story. First and foremost the first mother for lying and then for committing extortion (yes, she should go to jail). The agency for not attempting to contact the father before the adoption was final, the adoptive parents for not following up on the letter with the agency. Who suffers? The father, most definitely. The adoptive parents? Yes, they suffer because they've been parenting this child for several years (even though I feel that they didn't do enough - based on the news reports - to follow up on that letter) and, the biggest victim of all... the baby. What reforms can be made to ensure this doesn't happen? Can we not allow adoptions to go through without the benefit of both parents? Can we require that even if you are not sure who the father is, that a list of potentials be given and tested? What can we do?

Asshat remarks from within

We've all heard them. Relax and you'll get pregnant, just adopt, once you adopt you'll get pregnant. Usually they are said by well meaning friends, family & acquaintances of the infertile. On a rare occasion, it will come from the mouth of an infertile or the spouse of an infertile (sometimes they are one and the same). Last night Marc and I were channel surfing. True Lies was on. It was toward the end and we were watching it, well, because Faith plays the daughter and this is before she was uber hot in Buffy. Watching the show got us talking about Jamie Lee Curtis. Marc mentions she's a heraphrodite. I tell him that I think it's an urban legend. That's when it happened.... He said "that's why she adopted, she can't have kids cause she's got girl & boy parts". Oh the fun I had with that! Yep, told him it must be true because that's why I couldn't have kids too. Yes, he knew it was an asshat remark but let me just say I had a blast busting on him for it.

Important Website Alert

Much love and thanks to my friend Lisa who sent this to me... Go to this link and enter your street address...it will show a "house" in the middle of the map, that's your house... all the little colored boxes are registered Sex Offenders... click on them and you get a name, address & picture of the person along with his crime... it shows you where they live in proximity to your home and the local schools. Very important site to keep you and your children safe. Just go to www.familywatchdog.us Share this with your friends and family - be safe.

Baby Lovin'

When I dropped Dylan off at day care this morning one of his teachers mentioned that he threw up yesterday. Just once (they only notify after 3x) and she said she'd keep a close watch on him today. He was acting normally so I'm not concerned. I guess that's been in the back of my head all morning because when I went down to get my lunch from the place in the lobby I ended up running down to the day care to get me a little baby loving! He was just waking up from his nap and he looked so happy to see me. I just snuggled and kissed him for about 10 minutes and then gave him over to his teacher for a diaper change and his lunch. If you can find day care close to your place of business... do it! It's wonderful to be able to just pop in whenever you want.

Where do you live?

In order to save money and gas Dylan and I are now taking the train into work. It's taken some getting used to (on my part - Dylan loves it) but we've definately got a nice routine now. One of the many benefits to taking the train is people watching. I've noticed that many people live inside of their heads. Now, I know that some people like to talk on the phone or listen to the radio/mp3 or read a book. That's not what I'm talking about. You can see that they are not looking around them, they don't take any notice of their fellow travelers. It's quite sad. Today it was particularly cold so we stood inside of the heated enclosure waiting for the train. Some people chose to wait on the platform. Most people just barreled out of the door without seeing if anyone was behind them or next to them - just rushing outside to stand and wait. Others would exit to the platform but pause for a brief moment to check to see if anyone was behind them so as not to slam the door in their face. I watched peoples faces. Some people smiled or made eye contact with the other passengers while others were totally blank. The blank faces are what fascinated me. What was going on in their world that had them so deep inside of their heads? Did they have a sick family member? Trouble at their job? Trouble with a significant other or child? Dreaming of warmer days or snow? Struggling with infertility? Wishing for something or someone? For some reason I find these people a challenge. Every now and then I'll catch their eye and smile. Now, it's a scientific fact that if someone smiles at you - you will automatically smile back (if you don't believe me - try it - it's fun) - so I smile and watch them leave their head for a moment. So... where are you living right now? In your heart or in your head?

Beware The Hair Tourniquet!

Yep, you read that right. My darling friend, Jawdy discovered this nasty little thing. Read his post but the short version is this.... His daughter had a meltdown, was crying and they were not able to console her and they couldn't figure out why she was so upset. Turns out a hair got into her sock and twisted itself around two of her toes. The hair cut into the poor baby's skin but luckily Jawdy & his lovely wife (~waving at Deb~) were able to remove it. A coworker of Jawdy's wasn't so lucky and ended up in the ER having it professionally removed from his little one's toe. So glad I chopped all of my hair off! Now... time to get the cats groomed! ~here kitty kitty kitty~

And I'm the one that's infertile

It just pisses me off to no end that fuckwads like this have no problem reproducing. What the fuck was she thinking??? Unless her child was in mortal danger (which it wasn't), there is no excuse for her behavior.

That was just too cool!

Barb & Jeff brought Carlton over for a visit. It was so cool to have the boys together again. They haven't seen each other in about 2 months. Dylan kept wacking Carlton in the head and Carlton just looked at him like "Oh, it's you again". Carlton is absolutely beautiful and has a fantastic personality. I was showing off how to cut Carlton's fingernails and ended up cutting his little thumb. I felt horrible! It was so wonderful to see them with Carlton. You can tell they are amazing parents. Barb has to demand that Jeff gives him up so she can get some baby kisses. They also brought us coffee from Guatemala (super yum) and a letter from Dylan's foster Mom. I won't go into details but I will say that we were very touched at how much his foster family loves Dylan. I'm so glad that Dylan and Carlton will grow up together. The vice-principal of Dylan's school has a brother who was adopted from Colombia. Her mother and her friend went to Columbia and they each adopted a little boy (who were in the same orphanage together). They are still friends today and are about to be best man in each other's wedding. How cool is that?

Attention Whoring for a Friend

My friend Deanna (blogger gone password protected) entered her uber cute puppy into a Photowow Contest. Just enter contestant # 34904 and give her baby a 10.

Get Edjumicated

over at Karen's blog (Naked Overy). All I can say is... wow. She never ceases to knock my socks off!

Ok pregnant friends (both on paper & physical)

I don't give a rats ass what's on your registry. I'm now buying this lovely contraption for all people I love. Ok, the audio part is annoying as a motherfucker but there is nothing funnier than watching your baby bouncing and laughing. Dylan is just loving this crazy thing! Crazy weekend in store - going to get my hair did which mean I get some "me" time which I am so looking forward to. Saturday evening my cousin, her husband and two lovely children are coming over for dinner and to meet Dylan. Sunday our friends from Boston are going to be in the area and will be stopping by for some Dylan kisses. Oh, and Marc may try to teach me to drive a stick shift this weekend. YIKES! Much love to you all - I'm going back to watching Dylan jump around.

Stupid Human Tricks

I don't' have any tattoos. Neither does Marc. It's against the Jewish religion to have tattoos. I know some Jews have them but we don't. We both, however, do have friends who have them and I do enjoy seeing nice tattoos on people. But every now and then you see something that makes you say.... WHAT THE FUCK???? *Edited to remove apostrophes - thanks grammar police :)

A special post for NOTTHEREALME and other Angel Fans

Do I have the greatest husband or what??

Thank You!

Dylan Won!!!!! Check out Photowow

Wow, did I just hang out with a bunch of hotties!!!

Tonight I met some friends at a local favorite bar for drinks and Dylan snuggles. He was loving the ladies and even as I put him to bed he said... Mommy, when I grow up will there still be smoking hot babes for me? I told him not to worry, there would be incredibles ladies for him. Can I tell you how awesome my internet friends are (who are now... since we met F2F are IRL friends)... I figured we would be hanging out, relaxing, playing a bit w/the Dylan (cause he's so into the hot babes). Well, it turned into a baby shower. They all brought presents for the little man. I was so touched! I had met Meeshers* (and her lovely tata's) many times before. Classic Queen*, Lionesse* & PsychoPants* were all new to me. I walked in w/Dylan and yelled.... "Where's my Bitches??" They all loved that hahahaha. My Gd these are some amazing women! All very beautiful both inside and out. I felt very guilty we had to leave early cause asshole Mom (that would be me) forgot to bring Dylan's meds and had to get him home. They were so understanding (ok PP gave me a little shit but I so deserve it). Oh, and get this Cheeseheadpackerfan* sent Meeshers* a present for Dylan from like 2 or 3 states away. I've never met her in person but she sent a gift. These are all my weight watchers friends. They have put up with more of my shit than you will ever know (without the curses because we can't say things like shit, fuck and cunt on weight watchers boards but I can say it here so... neener neener neener). Just another reason that the internet is a beautiful place. GIRLS - I LOVE YOU!!!! ~SMOOCHES~ *internet names only since I didn't get the ok to do otherwise.

Time to do a little cleaning

Clean out those cookies and vote for Dylan again! We are in a very close second place. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell the guy walking down the street!!! Voting closes tomorrow so get your votes in today! Just go to photowow and put in entrant # 34750

AACCCKKK

We're in second place! Come on people - tell your friends!!! Vote For Dylan! Just go to photowow and put in entrant # 34750.

Vote for Dylan

Yes, I'm a total dork and a half. I entered Dylan into one of those online, cute baby contests. I know I pulled his photos so in exchange for allowing the world to see my boy's adorableness... please give him a big ole 10. Oh, and please don't give the other kids 1's - they eliminate those anyway (people do it to drive down the competition's numbers). Just go to photowow and put in entrant # 34750. THANKS!

I just got the saddest email

Oh Happy Day!

1. My best friend Jennifer is getting married today to a wonderful man who (if he knows what is good for him) will make all of her dreams come true. 2. Barb is a Mom. 3. Dylan slept from 8:00 p.m. all the way through (barely a whimper) till 6:45 a.m. (he usually gets up around 4:00 a.m. for a bottle). Life is good.

Neato!

I'm #3 on THIS site. How cool is that? Thanks to Manuela for pointing out that site and this adoption magazine that also references my site. I'm very flattered to be in the same company as Manuela and the other bloggers listed as they are my heros! So... what shall our next debate be? How about.... I'm pissed off because on of the local news reporters announced that Angelina Jolie was finally going to have a baby. Um, last time I listened to someone drone on and one about Angelina Jolie it was about her and her two children - she does have two you know you asshat. Yes, I'm aware she is pregnant for the first time but that doesn't mean that her two other children should be forgotten. Sorry - that's a pretty lame subject isn't it? I promise to come up with something more interesting. How about..... Duct tape as a parenting tool.

Must... Not.... Go..... Downstairs......

I am using every ounce of restraint not to go see Dylan right now. While it's wonderful to have him in my building... it's way to easy to just hop on the elevator to go see him. Have I mentioned how much I love being a Mom? When I look into his beautiful face and he smiles at me (or blows raspberries, or cries or whatever) I just melt. I'm not sure what he's doing in daycare but it's working wonders for his sleeping! He's asleep by 8:00 p.m. and sleeps through till 6:00 a.m. (he'll take a bottle at 6 and go back to sleep if I let him). He's starting to scoot a bit and I think he'll be crawling before we know it. He's sitting up better and better every day. He has absolutely no problem with tummy time (thank Gd) and is rolling over like a champ. One day Marc put him on the living room floor and walked away for a moment. We heard a bang and walked back into the living room. He had rolled across the rug onto the hardwood. He was just laying there smiling. No more leaving him unattended on the floor :) His pediatrician told us to make sure we don't leave anything on the floor (like pennies and other interesting things that baby may want to put into his mouth). Healthwise, he's doing great (again, thank Gd). No idea what caused the seizures and hopefully, they will never happen again. He got through his immunization with just a little crankiness and a 100 degree fever (~waiting for the flames for immunizing my kids). Hey, this reminds me of a story. I may have blogged about it and if I did, tough shit, it's my blog. I was getting my hair done and my former hair dresser and I were chatting and I told her about the adoption. First off... she pregnanted me (oh, you're adopting???? you'll get pregnant). Then, she tells me in a very hushed tone... "Don't vaccinate your child". HUH??? She then proceeded to tell me how she has done all of this research and that she even lied to her school district to get a religious exemption. I asked her about her research and she responded with... "I've read three books". I told her that I thought she was an irresponsible parent, that I would never let my child anywhere near her kids and that my sister-in-law is a pediatrician and when I asked her if she would immunize her kids she said yes this woman explained that my sister-in-law was under the influence of the drug companies. WTF???? Now, I work with a lovely gentleman who I consider uber granola crunchy. I asked him about what he and his wife did about immunization with their new daughter. I fully expected to get the lecture from him. He told me that they researched it, spoke with their daughter's pediatrician and decided that they would not give their daughter all of the immunization at once but space them out. He gave me a number of intelligent reasons to do this and, if I had any choice in the matter (Dylan was pretty much up to date on all of his immunization when we brought him home), we may have decided to do something similar. I just don't get the people who refuse to immunize their children at all. They have studied the effects of immunization and there is absolutely no proof that they cause autism (or any of the other problems people claim to have). Diseases that were virtually wiped out are making a come back because people are not vaccinating their kids. Not good. Not good at all. ~putting soap box away~

GO GET HIM!!!

Barb called last night... Carlton's coming home!!! They got their pink slip and leave Sunday to get their beautiful baby boy. Please go over and wish them a safe journey. Dylan is very excited that his foster brother is coming home and can't wait to visit with him (after he's settled in of course). Barb, if you read this... have a safe journey, enjoy your boy, have fun and be safe in Guatemala, we'll be waiting for you.

Shameless Plug

Please vote for my boss HERE. He's a super cool guy and uber hot (sorry boys, he's taken) and I would love to see him win Man of the Year!

dfakerafppaiwradka

Yep - that's about all I can manage today. Dylan started day care (half day) Mommy returned to work (half day) Dylan and Mommy spent rest of days going to doctors (2 and everything is good). Tomorrow a.m. - ped appt and then on to work/day care. This shit is for the birds. Can someone please pass me a winning lottery ticket????

She got me!

Marisa Tagged me so here it goes.. 1. What were you doing 10 years ago? I was miserably single - going to single dances (a/k/a Jew Hops) complaining that I had dated every Jewish man in the tri-state area. Working at MicroWarehouse making mad money. 2. What were you doing 1 year ago? Completing my first injectible cycle. Yep that's it - my entire world at that time was fertility treatments. 3. Five snacks I enjoy: 1. Guacamole (especially Marc's - it's super tasty) 2. Hummus 3. Chips & Onion Dip 4. Laughing Cow Cheese on crackers or celery 5. Nuts - any kind - as long as they're salty (insert joke here) 4. Five songs to which I know all the lyrics 1. I will Survive 2. Our Lips are Sealed 3. Unchained Melody 4. You are my sunshine 5. Inky Dinky Spider 5. Five things I would do if I were a millionaire: 1. Set up a fund to help people who don't have insurance coverage for infertility treatments. 2. Go back to school 3. Weekly Massages 4. Pay off all of our bills & my parents bills 5. Be a SAHM with maids (so I can focus on Dylan and not worry about cleaning the house) 6. Five bad habits: 1. Letting the laundry stack up till I have no choice but to do it. 2. Easily distracted by the computer 3. Putting myself last 4. Holding my emotions in too long 5. Not writing things down and then forgetting things I really need to do. 7. Five things I like doing: 1. Playing w/Marc & DYlan 2. Working out 3. Cooking 4. Dancing 5. Having dinner w/friends 8. Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again: 1. A new car - not worth it. 2. Tube top 3. Anything at Walmart 4. Birkenstocks - I don't care how comfy they are - they are gross 5. Fuggs boots - they are fucking ugly man! 9. Five favorite toys: 1. MP3 player 2. Baby sling - very colorful and lots of fun 3. My furbabies Shadow & Saffie 4. My new purse that goes from a little tiny thing to a huuuugggeee bag 5. Digital Camera So here's the deal: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot cityslicker mom a la carter afrindiemum An Elephant's Gestation Tales From The Stirrups Then select five people to tag: 1. Boy Makes Three 2 Barb - You don't have to do it if you are leaving for Guatemala :) 3. Wessel - sounds like you could use the distraction. 4. Twirl - come on girl - you haven't posted in a while. 5. Amanda

Thought on birth mothers

I've seen some interesting posts in blogsphere about birth mothers. I think my brain has run the gamut of thoughts on birth mothers. When I first started the process I discovered the anti-adoption sites. I was heartbroken. I even second guessed our decision to adopt. I wondered if I was doing this for the right reasons. Could I be a good mother to an adoptive child? I feared birth mothers. I read their sites, their blogs, their anger, their hatred, their pain and I was terrified. I wanted nothing to do with a child's birth mother. Open adoption?? Never! Then I was talking to a client on the phone. He's an adoptive father. Not only does he have an open adoption but it's waaaayyyy open. He's been on vacation with both of his children's birth families! The birth parents are amazing people. Wow. Maybe I was wrong. Then I researched pro-adoption sites by birth parents. There aren't many but they are out there. At this point we have chosen to adopt from Guatemala. I learned that there are some families that have open adoptions from Guatemala. I was fascinated. When you adopt from Guatemala, one of the steps the birth mother must take is an interview in Family Court. Her "story" is recorded and that is one of the documents you receive... Your birth mother's story. Why she chose to make an adoption plan. Marc and I discussed this document at length and decided that the first person to learn Dylan's birth mother's story after us should be Dylan. Please respect this and don't ask - we are not sharing her story. The only thing I will say is that I respect this woman more than words can say. She is an amazing woman. One day, after we received Dylan's DNA results (which we also receive a photograph of Dylan's birth mother holding him) I was mentioning to an idiot coworker how beautiful she is. He said something along the lines of.. Hey - you could hire her as a housekeeper (or something like that). I completely wigged out on this asshat. I basically told him that he's so low he's not worthy to wipe her ass. I told him that if he ever said anything like that again, he'd be hanging out the nearest window by his toenails (much to the delight of his staff). After this happened I was struck by the fierce feelings of protectiveness of this woman who I've never met. I do understand the feelings of fear and intimidating adoptive moms feel of birth mothers. I think it's a process we, as adoptive mothers go through. We are trying to find our place in the world. Are we mothers? Are we real? Are we imagined? Is it us against them? Is it a big happy world where everyone gets along? I pray, in the end, that we (adoptive Moms) realize that we all have our strengths & weaknesses and that all we want.. all of us, is to make the right decisions for our children so that they can grow into happy, well adjusted people. Yes, there are birth mothers out there who have major issue with adoption (many are justified). There are adoptee's who are anti-adoption - they too are justified. I think as adoptive parents we have a resposibility to educate ourselves to the issues these people have. Maybe through this education and undertanding, we can prevent these issues in the future.