It's a Small World After All

Sorry for the ear worm (hehehehe). Wednesday night I had to pick Marc up from an appointment. I managed to score a parking spot right in front of where Marc's meeting was so I just sat in the car and relaxed. I heard someone talking and looked into my side view mirror and saw a man with two children and a stroller. Now, I knew that these children were Guatemalan for two reasons... reason one was because Marc had heard that there was a family w/Guatemalan children on the block and two... well, they looked Guatemalan. Anyway, I was debating on getting out of the car when Marc came out and told me that we should just go say hello. We approached the Dad and introduced ourselves and explained that we were going to be adopting from Guatemala. He was so sweet and so excited for us. Turns out.... we are going through the same agency he did! When we asked our agency about the length of time we could expect to bring home our son, they said the quickest they have ever brought home a baby was 4 1/2 months and the longest was 11 months (but that was a single parent during Hague). Guess what, he was both! First baby was 11 months and second was 4 1/2 months. I know that some bloggers are torn as to whether or not to approach strangers that may also be adoptive parents. I say... go for it! We are obviously blended families. We are different. We stand out. Might as well embrace it! (yes, I know I may change my mind after Dylan comes home but.... for now - that's my opinion). Parents who have adoptive children - how would you feel if a stranger approached you and told you that your child is beautiful and then asked if you had adopted because they were/had adopted as well. I'm not talking about the nosy body in the store that just assumes that because your child looks different that they are adopted. I mean a fellow adopter. Are you comfortable with that? I'm curious to hear your opinions.

Shipped

Last night Marc and I went to the main post office in our city to mail a 12.6lb package to Dylan. I was very jealous of the clothes & toys in that box. They were going to touch my son before us. When you send clothing down, it's usually with the understanding that you won't be getting it back. The foster parents keep them for their future foster children. It was with that in mind that we bought a really adorable Eagle's onsie. We are just hoping her next foster son's parents are Cowboy's fans (hehehehe). We also sent down some toys, 6 disposable cameras, and a gift for the foster mother. For those of you who are adopting from Guatemala, Global Express Mail through the post office was $64 for 12.6lbs and they should have it in 3-5 days. Dylan could be wearing his outfits by this weekend! Plus, it's traceable so I can watch to make sure it gets down there ok. Still waiting on preapproval and our newest update. Oh, please stop by Barb's and give her some lovin. The fucking lab misplaced her DNA results. I'm sure they will find them but they are giving her some major stress.

In Search of Shalom

Shalom is Hebrew. Shalom is one of those wonderful word that have multiple means. Shalom can mean hello. Shalom can mean goodbye. Shalom also means peace. This is what I have been seeking. It was very obvious to me last night that my search for a synagogue to call home was also a search for peace. Last night, among the 200+ people (most were under 10 and quite loud) I found some peace. Not peace and quite mind you. No, it was (as the Rabbi put it) 100+ decibels in the room where we were having Shabbat dinner but I still felt very peaceful. Around me tons of children played and parents chased around the littler ones. It was nice to see parents so relaxed not knowing if there children were somewhere in the dining area, running through the synagogue halls or under someone's table. They knew their children were safe and having fun and that's all that matters. Since we were new to the synagogue, our name tags had little green stars on them to indicate that we were first timers. Many people (both Rabbi's and the Cantor) came over to introduce themselves and tell us all of the reasons we should join their synagogue. After dinner (roast chicken, potatoes & green beans) the Rabbi called for all of the children over 7 to join him in the Temple so of course Marc and I followed (the other Rabbi stayed behind to have services for the parents and the little ones). We walked into the chapel and what a sight! There were children running all over the place. On the Bimah, standing behind the podium (you could hardly see the tops of their head) pretending to be the Rabbi or the Cantor. The Rabbi walked in and asked for everyone to take their seats. Wow! The kids complied immediately and a hush came over the room. We sang, we prayed and we played games. It was wonderful! He really has a wonderful presence! After the services (which were extremely short), we went back to the original area we were in for dessert and more conversation. It was heavenly. Marc and I really enjoyed ourselves and felt welcome. We still want to look at at least one other synagogue before we decide but this one is definitely in the running! Saturday we went to the Princeton vs. USD game. USD lost but we had a great time. Sunday we cleaned out the basement so that we can hire an exterminator to help us with our cricket problem. It was a dirty job but it's done! Yay!

Now what?

We have at least 3 weeks before we can even email the Embassy about our pre-approval. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?? With the infertility shit, there was always something to do. A doctor's appointment, bloodwork, cootercam, temping, peeing on sticks, something! It's hurry up and wait with nothing to do. That's ok - tonight we're going to stop at BJ's wholesale, get some disposable cameras, wash the clothes we bought him and box it up to send to Guatemala. Tomorrow we have Shabbat dinner at a synagogue we are considering joining. It's funny - at our reunion we were talking with an old friend and it turns out he belongs to the synagogue (and is very happy with it). I've been missing out on my Jewishness from a community perspective. I hope this place will fit both of our needs.

Law Update and a Request for some Lovin'

The law was not read yesterday. Apparently there were more pressing issues to be discussed and the reading was put off. More importantly, 200 protesters arrived at the Congress steps and had the opportunity to voice their concerns directly to some of the Congress which seems to have had a positive effect. You can read more about it at Guatadopt. --------------------------- On to more pressing issues... My dear friend Deanna. She is facing some obstacles with her adoption right now and could use your prayers/positive vibes/good thoughts etc. Oh, unless you are that icky troll that has been harrassing her and telling her that I shouldn't be adopting because I say fuck. If you are on my blog (and don't worry sweetie, I can tell when you are here), I will be forced to bring my minions to your blog and harrass the ever loving shit out of you.

Update Time!

We have DNA and it's a 99.99% match :) Along with the DNA test, we also received a photograph of Dylan's birthmother holding him. She is beautiful. Stunning actually. She was smiling sweetly in the photograph. I wondered if it was because she was told to smile. I hope it was because she was at peace with her decision and because she knew that some day Dylan would be looking at this photograph and wanted him to see her that way. I hope it's the later. Looks like the second vote on The Ortega Law takes place today. This law definitely has it's benefits and I can see how it, ultimately, would streamline the process. However, there is nothing in this law that provides for the children while the law is being implemented which means that hundreds of children could be stranded while it's implemented. I also worry (selfishly) about how this law can effect our adoption as well. If the stories I have heard from the Hague disaster are any indication, this process could take a lot longer than we expected. I hope and pray that it doesn't happen until they can put a plan into place to take care of the children in the interim and not effect the currently adoptions taking place.

Wow, that was crazy!

On Saturday night, Marc and I went to my 20th High School Reunion. It was great seeing everyone. Everyone was floored at how much I had changed. I went from

TO.................... in 20 years. What you can't tell from my HS photo is that I had dirty blonde hair (yes, the truth is out, it's not "real"). I was uber skinny in high school and I'm not uber skinny any more. But I can say without any hesitation... I am happy.

It's interesting that out of the 200 or so people who attended this shindig, Marc and I managed to find the infertiles in the crowd. One was in the process of adopting from China and the other was struggling because her husband wasn't sure he could adopt. Everyone fawned over our pictures of Dylan and wished us well. No stupid remarks.

I hugged my arch nemesis, Jackie. She made my life miserable in school. Living well was my best revenge and it's been 20 years! 20 years ago she made my life hell but in the 20 years since I have seen her, I have grown past it all and Saturday night gave me a great deal of closure

If you are considering going to a reunion (especially 20+ years).... go! It's funny, a girl I knew since elementary school and I were talking about a mutual friend. She said "remember when Niki and I had a crush on the same guy?" I squealed "Dennis!" We laughed. She said "I remember how crushed I was that he liked her better. It's funny what was important to us back then". She's right. I hugged a woman who beat the shit out of me. I talked to people I never would have had anything in common with in high school that are now in a place in their lives that are very close to where I am. Many look at time as our enemy (especially in the IF world). Sometimes, it can heal us. I feel healed.

----------------------------------------

Ok, I've healed with regard to high school but NOT when it comes to the infertility shit. I got pregnanted AGAIN! Not only did I get pregnanted again but then she has the nerve to give me shit about vaccines! She tells me I'm going to get pregnant I tell her "I hope not". She told me that her kids aren't vaccinated and she got a religious exemption (even though her religion doesn't say shit about vaccines - she lied). I asked her where her kids go to school and she asked me why. I told her I wanted to make sure my son was no where near her kids. She tells me... "I've read 3 books on the subject". Um, I've spoken with doctors, educators, infectious disease people, I've read many books and reports... My kids are getting shots. I had them, Marc had them (with the mercury most likely) and we are fine! My sister-in-law is a pediatrician (who I respect greatly) and told me that when she has kids, she will have them immunized. She just said, "well, if your kids are immunized, they have nothing to worry about from my kids". Yeah, ok asshat.

I'm so proud I could burst!

My friend on Team GDT have raised almost $32,000 for their fight against breast cancer. I'm so proud of them! If you are interested in helping the cause, there's still time. Just go to http://tinyurl.com/ar3pj and make your donation. __________________ Still no DNA results for Dylan yet. My lovely socialworker, L, emailed the lab to see what is going on. I'm hoping for at least a verbal match today but since L is not in on Friday's... I doubt that would happen.

GIMME A G, GIMME A D, GIMME A T....

What's that stand for????? A group of amazing people I call friends who are going to Boston this weekend to honor our friend Annie and run in a 5k to raise money to fight breast cancer. So far, they have raised over $20,000. That's right, not $200, not $2,000, $20,000! Check out their site and, if you can donate. Race for the Cure

This Weekend and Other Happy Thoughts

One of my oldest and bestest friend, Jenn, came in with her boyfriend, David this weekend for a visit. Marc and I have never met this boyfriend and, after much pondering realized that this is the first time Jennifer and I have been in relationships at the same time (with the exception of when we met 10+ years ago in Israel). We had much fun! We went out to eat, made fun of David's dreamy French accent (which every waitress we encountered seem to swoon at), drank many cocktails and much wine. Wondered around the city and just got to know him. The verdict.... We like him! We really like him. I can't begin to say how great it is to see Jenn so happy. Whenever she's been in relationships in the past, she has always had this shadow in her eyes. Like a question was lurking in her mind. She was always very intense and very much on guard with these men. This time it's so beautifully different. Her eyes sparkle, her body language is relaxed. They would kid and play and tease each other and didn't give a fuck who was around. Yes! That's what it's all about! Not drama. This beautiful woman has, up until now, had horrible luck with men. With the exception of physical abuse, I bet she can top just about any bad date story you can come up with. What's crazy is she is beautiful (not just average, we are talking exotic), incredibly intelligent, has amazing artistic talent, published author and a heart of gold. She has been there through so much for me... I'm so happy to see her, well... happy! Ok, now I need to get a little weird and post something that only 1 person (and maybe that person's minions) will understand..... Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. This is the start of something special. Remember that. Today is a good day to start something new. You deserve to be happy. Enjoy this time and welcome to the ride my sister. Ok... back to me again :) Still no sign of the DNA results and still no update on the law.

To answer your question....

We don't know when we will be able to bring Dylan home. We are thinking it's anywhere from the 2-4 month range. This court decision court make it shorter or longer. We have no way of knowing. Once we have DNA results, we go to family court for preapproval. Once we have preapproval, we go to PGN (their version of the Attorney General's Office) for approval. Once we have approval, our birth certificate is requested from Guatemala City. Once we have the birth certificate, we go get him :) To answer Caroline's question... No, we are not doing a visit trip. Our attorney in Guatemala will only allow us to see him for a few hours and only during the week. We just can't take the time off of work so we are praying we can get him soon.

Timeline

I've been asked to show our timeline for the adoption process... here it goes! Timeline To Dylan 03/13/05 - Decision to Adopt Announced 03/28/05 - Application to Agencies Mailed/ Paperwork Started 03/31/05 - Application Received by Agency 04/11/05 - Met with Social Worker for Home Study Interview 04/21/05 - Marc met with Social Worker for Home Study Interview 04/25/05 - I600 Mailed to INS 04/28/05 - First Communication w/Adoption Agency (Email) 05/05/05 - Letter from INS - Missing BC/MC 05/09/05 - Home Study In Home Visit and Couple's Interview 06/08/05 - Received completed Home Study 06/16/05 - Home Study to INS 07/06/05 - Fingerprinted for INS 07/08/05 - ********REFERRAL!!!********** 07/13/05 - Wire to Attorney 07/20/05 - State Authentication Received 07/21/05 - Sent to Liason for Guatemalan Consulate Authentication 07/22/05 - Everything but I797 is in SC 07/27/05 - I797 is received and sent to SC 08/05/05 - Dossier sent to Guatemala 08/25/05 - Updated Medical Report & Photos 09/06/05 - DNA Performed We are currently waiting on the results. Cross your fingers that they are in our mailbox at home. This wait has gotten very difficult for me. It's really getting to me lately and I'm barely holding it together. There is some legislation pending that could really effect adoptions. We would still move forward with Dylan (the legislation would really effect new adoptions) but I worry that it would slow things down for us considerably.

Squeaking in one more post before the weekend begins...

I'm very excited. Marc and I are checking out a Synagogue in 2 weeks. They have a group for young married couples and we have been invited to Shabbat Dinner. Marc prefers the Conservative flavor of Judaism where I prefer the more egalitarian Reform flavor. This Synagogue sounds like it has both flavors under one roof (a spiritual chocolate & vanilla if you will). They follow the traditional Conservative service but they have a woman Chazzan or Cantor. It's been a long time since I've had a desire to be in synagogue. Many years ago, I found a synagogue that touched my heart. I felt welcomed and accepted. My parents became very active, my sister went to school and celebrated her Bat Mitzvah there. Then, our little community was thrust into the news. Our Rabbi was accused (and ultimately convicted) of murdering his wife. It also came to light that he had numerous affairs. I, like most people I knew at the time, put the clergy on a pedestal. They were beyond reproach. My spiritual world took a major hurting during that time that I don't feel that I've fully recovered from. I went on to have an adult Bat Mitzvah a few years after this happened at the same synagogue. Then, the remaining Rabbi left and in his place were people that I couldn't relate to. People who would ignore me just because they didn't know my name (after being introduced numerous times). So I've just drifted. Going to that synagogue on High Holidays with my parents or going with Marc's family to his family's synagogue. My only desire was to get out as quickly as possible and that just made me sad. So, while going through our home study process, our lovely social worker, S, was telling us how much she loves her synagogue and how she would love for us to come and see it. She extended the invitation and we are taking her up on it. I hope it's someplace that both Marc and I, together, will feel comfortable enough to call home. Not only for us but for Dylan. I know that they have experience with adoptive children because our social worker has an adopted child.

Ending the week on a happy note.....

We have a "positive" sighting in IF blogland. Please go give Eggs some congrats on her insanely unexpected surprise. Have a good weekend everyone. Be kind to yourselves and those around you.

Just a friendly reminder & an update

This site is copyright protected (see notice to the left). That means no copying and pasting my site, no printing it's lovely pages without the Queen's authority (in case you didn't know... I'm the Queen. Ok, on to happy things... DNA testing is done! When we were going crazy with the photos yesterday I asked L (our social worker) if she would check on the DNA status. I was looking for a date for the DNA testing to take place. Imagine my surprise when I got the response that the testing had been performed and we should have results in a week! How cool is that?? We are just cruising along.

What a Weekend!

What a great weekend it was! On Saturday we did our usual routine of gym, weight watchers (down 1.6lbs YaY!) and breakfast. We added in a leisurely stroll through town where we ran into my boss. I snuck up behind him and grabbed his ass. Luckily I have a boss cool enough to permit ass grabbing and a husband who loves me enough to be cool w/me indulging (especially when it's my gay boss). We did a little shopping for Dylan. We plan to send some clothes, toys and cameras down to his foster mother. Went home, did yardwork and went to a birthday party at one of our favorite restaurants. While we were there, ran into Princess and her friends from Israel. Sunday, we did more yard work and then went to a barbecue for our friend's son's first birthday. It was a blast! It's amazing. We saw the baby 2 weeks ago and he was just starting to take his first steps. Two weeks pass and he's tearing through the yard! It's amazing how quickly it happens. After the barbecue, we saw The 40 Year Old Virgin. Probably one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. If you haven't seen it - trust me when I say... don't drink anything before the show - you may pee yourself! Monday... well, Monday was sheer heaven on earth. We woke up early, made a big pot of coffee and sat out back and enjoyed our back yard for the first time this year. We cleaned off the table and chairs, put up the umbrella, grabbed our books and just relaxed. We read, had breakfast, read some more, talked, watched the birds and bugs float through the yard. We took a break and did some shopping (Macy's had a huge sale on area rugs - can't have Dylan crawling around on hardwood can we?). We came home and sat outside some more, then went inside (insert imagination), had dinner and then went to sleep. It was a perfect day off. This morning, after the gym, I find that we have an updated picture & medical report on Dylan. Yay! Marc and I were so excited. Through my excitement, when I looked at the photo, it just didn't seem right. I brushed it off and decided it was my imagination. I then get an IM from my friend Barb. "Call me" she IM's which I promptly do. They switched our photos! We had ourselves a really good laugh but our agency was furious with the lawyer. I told her to save her anger for when we are in PGN or when we are waiting on the birth certificate. This shit is the easy part.

Oh, I forgot to ask

I saw a post on a blog this week about a woman who took her baby (adopted from Guatemala) to a yard sale and met a young man who was also adopted from Guatemala. I wanted to show Marc the blog entry but now I can't find it. If you know what I am talking about, could you please point me in the right direction? Thanks

Have a Good Weekend

And please, hug your loved ones a little tighter this weekend. Please remember those in New Orleans who have lost everything. Their family members, their homes, their memories. Please pray or wish that they are rescued soon. If you want to give but aren't sure what charity you want to send your money to, please check out http://give.org/news/katrina.asp. They reseach the charities and can tell you how much goes to the cause and how much goes to administrative fees. I found it very helpful in decided where to donate.

First, an update....

We got the request for DNA testing on Monday. We promptly filled it out and faxed it back. Now, the DNA test can take place. This is to ensure that the birth mother is, in fact, the birth mother. She has to sign off for the third time. I've been told that if the birth mother is going to change her mind, this is when it usually happens.

Ok, which one of you

Is from Bozeman? I keep seeing Bozeman MT on my sitemeter and I'm intrigued. Please delurk and say hi :) Oh, and the person from XO.com too. Who are you?

What is a blog??

I get that question a lot as do many of my blogging friends. Why put yourself out there? Why put your heart out to the world? Well, some blogs (like mine) are definitely out there. Both mine and Marc's families read my blog because I told them about it and gave them permission. I do honestly believe that I could have even gone as far as telling them about it but asking for them not to read it and that they would respect my feelings because, well, that's the way they are. They are good people. There are some people in the blogging community (hi Wolfette!) who have two blogs. One for friends and family to read to stay up to date on what's going on in their lives and a deep dark private one for, well, their imaginary friends (like me) to read and help them on their journey of infertility, adoption, addiction, etc. You get the point. One of my darling blogging buddies have been violated in one of the worse forms of betrayal. Her mother-in-law (hereinafter known as cunt-in-law or CIL for short) broke into her computer, used her daughter-in-law's email account to email the blog to herself at home and then proceeded to read her entire private blog. Wait! It gets better my lovely friends! Her cunt-in-law then proceeds (after confronted on her betrayal) to email pages of the blog that she had downloaded to all of the people she vented about so they could see what she had written about them. My friends, we ALL complain about the people in our lives. This doesn't mean we don't love them, respect them and care for them. It means for a moment or two in time, they have pissed you off and you vented about them and then you get over it. I hope her family who received these heinous emails understand that and I hope her CIL rots in hell. Now, I know many of you are wondering why I am writing this. Apparently the idiot also downloaded her bloglines list and has been frequenting blogs on the list so.... if the cunt-in-law comes here - I'll be able to track her and laugh in her ugly face. Friends of Wolfette (Just Keep Swimming), please post your notes of love and support. Let this horrible, horrible woman know how awful we think she is!