What the hell was I thinking????

Get up extra early this morning because I wanted to take the 6:15 a.m. (yep - that's morning folks) spin class that I hear is incredible. Drag poor Marc out of bed, run to the gym, get to class to try out the new bikes and then got my ass thoroughly kicked by Judy the awesome Spin instructor. Not only did she have incredible kick ass music but she had an incredible energy about her. Yelling "go go go" and "you're doing great!" At one point she was yelling "Pick it up, Pick It Up, you've got it!" I opened my eyes (I usually have my eyes closed when I spin) and she was looking right at me. I was in the front to her side - no one was near me so I know it she was talking to me which just made me triple my efforts. Oh, and if that's not enough abuse for one morning... Marc has the car today because Mom is picking me up after work to go for facials. I walk outside, feel a slight breeze so I say to myself Fuck the taxi - I'll walk 2 miles to work. By the time I got to the office, I was drenched in sweat.

WE HAVE....... (baby post)

BABIES!!! My dear, sweet, wonderful friends Bob & Alyssa had their twins over the weekend. Babies, Mom & Dad are home and are doing well.

So Much Happiness

Please keep my friends Bob & Alyssa and their beautiful little twins in your prayers this weekend. Alyssa is being induced tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you four all weekend! Everyone - I wish you a wonderful weekend.

Today's Happy Post Goes to....

Cubbie!!!! She's getting a daughter! A beautiful little girl to call her very own. The lovely Cubbie has been in the process of trying to adopt an older child and out of the many, many people who wanted to be her Mommy, they picked the lovely Cubbie (need to give those social workers a huge pat on the back for that one). Cubbie, I'm just so happy for you and your new family! Mozel Tov!

We may have a possible pregnancy sighting in Blogland

Over at PJ's it looks like we may have a few lines on the pee stick. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that it's not her HcG shot but the real deal. Go PJ Go!!!!!!

There he was just a walking down the street

Just about every Wednesday night, Marc and I go to the comic book store to pick up the week's new comics. Usually, Marc will go in and I will wait in the car because, well, boys and girls that read comic books sometimes have an aversion to showers and it stinks in there. Anyway, Marc is in the shop and I had driven around the block looking for parking when, to my amazement, I see "The Legendary Wid" crossing the street. ~looking around the blog at all of the blank stares~ You've never heard of The Legendary Wid???? You need to google this lovely, hysterical comedian and, if he's performing in your area, you need to go see him. He's uses a lot of props in his act and he's, well, he's fucking hysterical! Anyway, the Wid and I go waaaaayyyyyyyyy back. I honked my horn and waved but I really didn't think he'd remember me. He came over and that brilliant mind is still as sharp as ever! He said "we used to work together". Yep, the old Comedy Works. I ran a karaoke show in the restaurant in the club called "The Fun House". He would always hang out with us before and after his show and sing (he has a great voice). After I left that gig I saw he was performing in my neighborhood and went to see him. As he rushed out onto the stage he stopped, looked at me, laughed, got on stage and said "I'm confused - we doing karaoke tonight?" No one got it but me but that's ok. I love being in on the joke. We asked about some friends we used to have in common and then he called his manager, Kevin, and put him on the phone w/me. It was nice to catch up. Meanwhile, I keep waiting for Marc to come out of the store and see this crazy man pacing next to the car talking to me (Wid always paces). But the Wid had to dash and Marc didn't get to meet him. Oh well. He still performs in the area so we will have to catch a show one of these days. Oh, speaking of shows. Marc and I have a date on Saturday afternoon. We are seeing Sweeney Todd! I love that show (yes, I am twisted - duh!). On Sunday, Mom, Princess and I are heading to NY with a bunch of other Jewish women (it's a synagogue trip) to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on Broadway. A theater weekend. I'm looking forward to it.

My Poor Sweet Husband

I'm still at work. My poor sweet husband called me with such distress in his voice. "I have so much to do I just don't know when I'll be done". He sounded so desperate. I could hear "I want to go home now" in his voice. I can't let him take the train. He sounds so beat and it's Wednesday and I'm sure he'll want to go get his comics so here I wait for my love. So, since I have some time on my hands... how about we continue the interview game. First... the rules... 1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me." 2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. 3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions. 4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post. 5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And now... Drum roll please....my questions for my little blogger friends.... To my little friend Zeeks 1. What is your favorite childhood memory. 2. How did you meet your hubby? 3. Who is your hero? 4. If I gave you a hundred million dollars, what would you do with it? 5. Why are you a vegetarian? To my new friend Deanna 1. How did you get into Herding? 2. Are you religious and, either way, why? 3. What is your biggest fear? 4. What do you do for a living? 5. If you could be a comic book hero, who would it be? To my little fried in the UK MsPru 1. Why did you move to the UK? 2. What do you miss the most about the US? 3. If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would you wish for? 4. What do you regret? 5. What are you most proud of? To my new friend Iselyahna 1. What are you studying? 2. How did you come up with your blog name? 3. What's the most dangerous thing you have ever done? 4. What is your dream vacation? 5. What moves you more.. movies, TV or music and why? To my new friend Jamila 1. Who is your favorite author and book? 2. What gives you warm fuzzies? 3. Do you believe in G-d? 4. Are you close to your family? 5. Do you believe your husband is your soulmate? If so, why? To my dear sweet Cubbie, thanks! That was a blast!

YYYIIIIPPPPPPEEEEE!!!

Lumi is ok! ~doing an insane dance in the middle of my office~

I know you are around here somewhere

I know you are around, I can feel you.. poking at my uterus and snickering behind my back. Don't you think I can recognize you a mile away? I've known you since I was 11 years old. I know what that icky, weepy, crampy, pull the covers over my head for a week feeling means. My period will be arriving soon. Probably today because I forgot that it was due and wore my lovely new white capris. It's funny. You'd think that since I'm adopting I wouldn't mind getting it. That since we are not "officially" trying, that it wouldn't bother me. If you think that, you're nuts. It's not that I thought I was pregnant. Not at all. It's more that I feel like it's mocking me. My body appears to do what it's supposed to do every 28 days yet there is no purpose to it. My pain will never produce a child. It will just be there, mocking me, every 28 days. So... to my period I say.... Fuck You! --------------------------------------- If you are wondering what happened to my meltdown(s), I've decided that I need to put them away for a little while. Pull them back from the world. I kept obsessing over them, re-reading them at every opportunity and I need to move on from it so I pulled them back. Thank you again for all of your kind words. ---------------------------------------- Oh yeah..... SIGN MY MAP

Lend me your prayers/ good thought/vibes/etc.

My friend Lumi over at Illumination Maybe is having a scare right now. She is about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant and is experiencing bleeding. Please send her your good thought, prayers, vibes, voodoo dances, whatever you feel comfortable offering her. She needs us right now. Lumi - we are all here for you. We love you! Take care of yourself and your little one.

Move Along, Nothing To See Here, Just Another Crazy Infertile

Whew. That was a hell of a meltdown. I'm ok though. I think I just had that little bit more to throw out there. I slept a little better last night (still had crazy dreams - just not as horrible) and will hopefully get a good nights sleep tonight. I took a spin class this morning and I use that time to do visualization. I'll see myself riding this bike by a mountain stream or by the ocean or somewhere else. Sometimes I will picture myself riding over the person causing me problems. Today I just saw myself letting this go. I cried (crying while spinning isn't a good idea but hey - what the hell) and peddled like a maniac. Time to refocus on happy things. I need to find my positive energy again. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words.

Fertility Dance (warning - pregnancy related post)

Just doing a little happy dance for my good from Lumi at Illumination Maybe. After playing "if I stare at the stick long enough" and "the rising HcG levels don't mean anything do they", we have a heartbeat! A beautiful, strong heartbeat! Please keep this wonderful woman and child in your prayers/good thoughts/happy vibes/voodoo dances, etc.

Another Notch! Bam!

The home study is being overnighted by my darling wonderful husband to INS. We will anxiously await our fingerprinting request. YaY!

Tag! I'm It!

My buddy over at

Cubbiegirl

has issued a challenge. A game of tag if you will. Here are the rules.... 1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me." 2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. 3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions. 4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post. 5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. and now... Drum roll please....my questions and answers... 1. What religious background were you raised in, and do you practice that today? I was raised Jewish and still consider myself a practicing Jew. We don't belong to a synagogue so we are really just a couple of wandering Jews at the present time. 2. What has more impact on you: movies, books, or music and why? Do I really have to pick just one? I have seen movies that have changed the way I feel about the world, read books that have given me great passion and sadness, have heard songs that have caused me to pull over because they make me cry so hard. It's really so hard to say. If I had to pick one I'd say music. Why? Because once a song touches me a certain way, it seems like it always touches me in the same way. 3. In the past five years, what about you has changed for the better, and what has changed for the worst? I quit smoking, gained about 50lbs and have taken 40lbs of it off. I found out that I can't have children but discovered that adoption is a wonderful choice. 4. If a Genie gave you three wishes, what would you chose? 1. To spend eternity with my husband. 2. To be a stay at home mom to a house full of kids. 3. Not to ever have to worry about money again. 5. What is the most important thing about being married that no one ever told you? The correct way to communicate (which we have learned to do). We are, by no means perfect at it... but we definitely work at it. Ok - who wants to be interviewed??? Oh, and don't forget to sign the map :)

If you have 10 minutes, high speed internet and

A huge ass box of tissues - check out this video. http://homepage.mac.com/kevintwit/iMovieTheater33.html My good friend Tara passed this on to me and it's about a family adopting a little girl from China. Very well done and just, well, beautiful! Oh, and don't forget to sign my map :)

Sign My Map!

Let me know where you are from. It's the link to the left of this post under "View My Profile". It's the white icon with "View My Guestmap" "Click Here" and ""Place your Pin" flashing with the globe. I'd love to know where everyone is from.

Coming Out of the Closet Part Duex

When my Mom was told that we were adopting, we weren't that surprised at her response.. "I'm designing the baby's room!" My Mom has amazing taste. Well, in the Baby's room there is a closet whose doors were removed by the painters we had hired to paint the house when we moved in and they never bothered to put them back on. That gave my Mom a great idea. Since the room was relatively small to begin with, forget the doors, do a closet organizer and put custom curtains over the closet. It took Marc 8 hours to put the closet organizer together and it took the drape guy about a half an hour do to the this..... closet We also had custom blinds and cornice done to match window Oh, and the day they put up the blinds and stuff, Mom showed up with that bear. How fucking cute is that??? Oh, if you want a Shelly Original, I will hire her out. Kidding. Ok I'm not. I think my Mom would be great at this.

Why is it that some people just have no common sense

when it comes to speaking to a woman about very personal issues? We have my friend over at The Naked Ovary who has been getting pregnanted left and right. Pregnanted is the act of telling someone you are adopting and the response you receive is something along the lines of "Oh, now you will get pregnant". The other definition is, well, more hideous. It's when someone mistakes you for being pregnant when you are not. I have had this happen many many times. I carry all of my weight in my stomach (thanks Dad!). Another friend of mine from weight watchers was just telling a story about how a woman at work asked her what she is going to do now that she is pregnant - isn't she going to gain back all of the weight she just lost?? I'm sure my ww buddy wanted to say something like "no you stupid cunt, I plan on starving myself during pregnancy so that I able to maintain my weight". Oh, did I mention that she's "one of us"? ~peeking around cyberspace looking for Mrs M~ Congrats Sweetie! So tell me, why do complete strangers feel the need to ask people insanely personal questions? While in an airport in Jamaica returning from vacation a black woman asked me when I was due (you'll understand the need for color reference as the story progresses). I just looked at her and said "do I now you?". She said "No". I asked "Are you sure?" She said "Yes, I'm sure". I asked "did we go to school together?" She, being very much younger than myself replied "doubt it". I asked (here's where the color reference comes in) "are we related? cousins maybe?" She laughed hysterically and said "definitely not". I looked her dead in the eye and said "then what would possess you to ask such an intimate question of a complete stranger? I'm not pregnant, I'm fat - thanks for asking". I hope that that experience has caused her never to ask that question of another woman again. Now this experience was long before my fertility shit. If I had been on clomid, I'd be rotting in a Jamaican jail. I usually use the pregnanted statement of "Oh, you'll get pregnant after you adopt" as an opportunity to educate the obviously ignorant person on the new technologies that exist to diagnose infertility. Of course, there was the one time I was in a mood and a woman who tried to pregnanted me said "Oh, you'll get pregnant after you adopt" my response to her was "G-d I hope not!'. Shut her up. The most fun I have is when stupid people ask me when Marc and I are going to start a family. I love it when it's at some kind of social event and I have a drink in my hand. ~insert Jewish accent here~ "So, when are you two going to start a family?" Me - we are expecting around the end of the year. Causing said questioners eyes to dart back and forth between my face, my stomach and my drink which I usually pound for dramatic effect and excuse myself to get another. So, tell me, what are some of the idiotic remarks you have gotten lately?

Gently closing the door behind me

The home study is complete. Social Worker J is mailing out the notarized Home Study today. That phase of our adoption is complete. We then (I think) send it to INS and then the fingerprinting stuff begins. I'm so excited. Things seem to be moving along in a timely fashion. As I mentioned before, Marc spent 8 hours on Memorial Day putting together a beautiful closet organizer that my mom designed at Organized Living. Now we are ready for Lonnie, the custom drapes guy, to put up the drapes on the closet and also the blinds on the window. Mom was very excited because she was watching a design show and saw her idea on the show. I can't wait to see the final product. Then, we just have to pick out the baby's furniture. Traditionally, Jews do not buy baby furniture, clothes, etc. until after the baby has been born. It's more superstition than anything else but I just don't want to do anything else until we get the referral. After that, the baby has been born so we can buy stuff! Had a rough day today. Club owner was a complete dickwad and yelled at me because I couldn't find a file. Told me that I was unprofessional and that I must get paid $6 an hour to sit on the phone. I told him that I could buy and sell his redneck ass and that I don't have the time to entertain his temper tantrums, he can call my boss. hehehehe - my boss will kick his ass :) It's nice working for a company that when someone says "I want your superior" you know that the person you are sending him/her to will back you up 100% (if you are right - which I always am). It's also nice to be able to call someone a cocksucking dickwad redneck to your boss and have your boss laugh. I love my job!

Paranoid Much????

So I was just checking out my sitemeter to see who's been cruising my blog and I see a URL that says uscourts.gov. Ok, if you are reading this and you work for the US courts, please don't be offended but that totally freaked me out. I got to thinking - what if someone who is reading this has some kind of say in my adoption process and then they look back and see me fling the "c" word around with abandon. AACCCKKK Admit it adoption people, would that freak you out or am I just being a paranoid freak?

Stomach in yummy knots

My stomach is all kinds of turned around, upside down, twisting, turning, churning in happy glee. I just spoke w/the senior home study social worker who has been on maternity leave since we begun this process. She's as super cool as Social Worker "S" and Social Worker "L". I faxed her over the last of my home study paperwork and she said she would be sending a notarized copy to INS by Wednesday. Hopefully, they will have it by Friday and we will have begun the next stage of our adoption process. WWWHHHHHEEEEEEEEEE

Hear that???

Silence. Marc's Dad, Stepmom & Brothers stayed with us this weekend. It was noisy in the house for the first time. I absolutely loved it! It's the sounds of things to come. Hopefully, by the end of the year, my house will be noisy non-stop. The sounds of our son, our families visiting our son will fill our home. My brother-in-law & sister-in-law's wedding reception was this weekend at the Zoo. I have to say, they did a beautiful job. We had so much fun dancing among the animals. The band was wonderful. The food was fun (hamburgers, hot dogs, bbq chicken, ice cream & watermelon). The wine flowed freely which just made me want to dance in the fountain but no one would dance with me. I wasn't hammer but apparently if someone wants to dance in a fountain, everyone will assume that you were. Nope, I'd dance in that beautiful fountain sober too. I need to call the doctor's office. We STILL haven't received the medical report. We need the medical report to get the home study completed. AAACCCKKK!!!

Being Overwhelmed (happily)

Have you ever just been going about your day and then all of a sudden you get this incredibly overwhelming feeling of love. At the same moment your significant other pops into your mind. That's how I feel right this moment. I just thought about seeing Marc tonight and my heart just swelled in my chest. I can't wait to see him. I just saw him in the gym this morning but it seems like it was ages ago. I miss him. I want to hug him and kiss him and hold him. We've been married 3 1/2 years and I'm still honeymoon crazy in love with him. Have a wonderful weekend. As long as I'm with My Love, I know I will.

All right people....

Let me remind you of my friend Heather (http://talesfromthestirrups.blogspot.com/2005/05/we-interrupt-your-regularly-scheduled.html). Heather is riding in the Race for Roses and is trying to raise money for cancer research through the Lance Armstrong foundation. ________________________________________ Ok, beg-a-thon is now over. Well, my brother-in-law got married this past Thanksgiving in St. Thomas. This weekend is the reception for the rest of the world (300 people!) at the zoo. My father-in-law, his wife and there two kids are staying with us. They got in at 1:30 this morning and I, of course, woke up for all of 2 seconds. I managed to drag my sorry ass out of bed this morning and make a spin class. This is after taking a kick ass yoga class on Wednesday and lifting (upper body) yesterdya. Needless to say I'm a big bruise and I'm looking forward to taking the weekend off from fitness. Have a groovy weekend and hopefully I have some stories of people getting drunk and stupid come Monday.